Parents of ONLY boys or ONLY girls...

[DivineMrsM]

and you wanted at least one of each, how did you deal with your feelings about it?

i had my ultrasound on Monday and found out that my 2nd and final child will be another boy. now, it's not that i don't WANT a boy, i just REALLY wanted a girl! so i was quite upset to find out i wouldn't be having a girl. ever.

there are so many reasons i want a daughter and it sucks to realize it just wasn't in the cards for me. i have no worries that i will love my son any less or anything silly like that. i loved this boy the second i found out about him. but i worry that the longing for a daughter will never go away.

how did or are you dealing with this? did it upset you to realize it wasn't in the cards for you?

[camracrazy]

I have 3 girls. I only wanted girls. My DH really wanted a boy. Sometimes I feel bad that we stopped before he got a boy, but honestly we could have just ended up with 6 girls or something if we had kept trying!

[~ Wonderful Life ~]

I didn't care one way or the other with my second, but my h really wanted a girl.

When I saw on the u/s that it was a boy I said "ut oh." then the tech said "it's a boy!" and I could practically feel my h disappointment.

He was sad and upset for a little while - maybe a couple of weeks.

He had a girl name that he really wanted to use, so when DS#1 came home with a female kitten, I said yes, just so my h could use the name!!

Unfortunately, the kitten turned out to be a boy too!!!

After a few weeks of being disappointed, he snapped out of it and hasn't mentioned it since.

[cappuccinosmom]

We intend on having a large family, no birth control, so until I'm menopausal, I figure there's always hope.

But honestly I've come to terms with having only boys, even though I really would like at least one girl. My boys are *so* wonderful and amazing and loveable. If I could give up the youngest two in exchange for a girl, I wouldn't even consider it. For me, it's tied in with my faith and my beliefs about childrearing--I have come to believe that I am not entitled to a certain number of children, in a certain timing, of the genders I choose. That's part of life. God may give me 15 boys, and at this point I can say I would be fine with that. But it took a while before I reached that place.

[purplemoon]

Oh, yeah, I wanted a girl with my second and was very upset when it was a boy. I cried, dh had to hold me, I talked about all the things I would never get to do. Prom dresses, the first bra, etc. I did have to grieve.

Somehow when my son came it didn't matter at all and now I can't imagine life being any different. I think someone said on the other thread how you just embrace the gender thing full force. Meaning, our lives are now BOY! And I love it. I am the princess of the house surrounded by adorable princes. It really becomes a great thing.

[holyhelianthus]

This is our last pregnancy. We decided that when we decided to try again. When we found out it was twins we thought for sure there would be a boy in there. Nope. Five girls! We have five girls and no boys. And we always just knew we'd have a boy!

I still struggle with it but I think I am coming to terms with it. I really wanted a boy and so did DH. I come from a family of girls and he is the only son of an only son of an only son. I see moms with their sons and I get so depressed. There just is a different dynamic and I will never experience that.

Of course I am thankful for my 5 beautiful and healthy girls!

[ChetMC]

Not Getting What You Want

Our third was a boy when I wanted another girl. Honestly, you get over it. For the first weeks I preferred to think of DS as a baby, not a boy or a girl, but it wasn't long before I couldn't imagine our family any other way.

i think that for most people who don't end up with the gender distribution they want it's not a long term issue. The same way lots of people would like to be two inches taller, or wish they were better at sports, it doesn't really impact their happiness. You know, they sigh when they see cute little dresses, and go overboard buying them for friends who have baby girls, but they love their boys and wouldn't trade them in.

[Alyantavid]

Dh and I both wanted boys and then a girl. We had our second boy and I knew that was it for me. I had always wanted a girl, but once I had my two boys, I was done. I don't know how I got over that, but it never seemed like a huge thing to me once my youngest was here.

[OliveJewel]

We have two boys and I feel like I really wish I could have a daughter. When I imagine myself having another child, though, I imagine myself being amazed either way.

[Devaskyla]

We have 3 boys & dh says he's done. He's made peace with never having a daughter. I still haven't. Of course, I haven't really made peace with never having another child, either. Ds3 was shy during the ultrasound, so I held onto hope for my whole pregnancy that he might be a girl. I had a few days of occasionally crying about another boy after he was born.

He's such a sweet baby & I wouldn't trade him for a girl, but I think it's ok for me to still be sad sometimes. Ever since I was 12, I was sure I'd have a daughter. It's hard to give that up. I don't even have any little girls in my life. My sister has 2 boys, my friend has 2 boys. A friend from high school has a girl, but she's 17 now & I haven't seen her since she was 7.

[K-Mom3]

I came from a family of 6 girls--no boys. I loved it! I'm sure my Dad missed having a son but he was a great dad for girls. My sisters and I are so close we kind of have a club. It made a lot of things easier--sharing rooms, passing down clothes, etc.

If you plan to have anymore, you might want to read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" before TTC again. The main point of the book is charting your cycle and being aware of your body, and it is pretty scientific. Then the author sticks this part in that says, if you know how to chart and you know when you're ovulating you can use this info to choose the gender of your child. She admits that this part is less based on science but a lot of people swear by it. I didn't use it to choose a child's gender but I was able to predict gender (before the ultrasound) correctly for 2 pregnancies based on the data I had on my chart.

[holyhelianthus]

I tried the TCOYF gender advice this last time and have twin girls to show for it after trying for ONE boy

A family of 6 girls!! Thanks for sharing about your life

[mbhf]

I was in your shoes a few years ago, when I found out my second was a boy. I did decide to have more kids (obviously) but by the time he was born I was at peace with the fact that I was not going to have a daughter. When my third boy was born it further cemented that fact and I was so happy to be a mother to three boys, I couldn't imagine having a little girl. Then I *did* have a little girl that I was so sure was a boy and had actually hoped would be a boy. And I'm definitely at peace with that as well.

[BoringTales]

I have all boys, and I'm completely satisfied. I'm due in July with our 4th child, gender unknown, and everyone I run across says the same thing, "I hope its a GIRL this time!!"

It infuriates me. It isn't that I wouldn't love the experience of being the mom to the daughter or that I haven't ever hoped for that, but just the WAY they say it. Its as if I somehow got the short end of the stick ending up with three beautiful, healthy, active, boys. Irritating.

I'm perfectly content in the fact that whatever the genders of my children, they are going to be exactly the children I was meant to have. The perfect children for me to be "Mom" to. Exactly what was meant to be. Who am I to question something that I have ZERO control over? If I don't end up with a girl at some point it'll be because I wasn't meant to be the mom to a girl.

I'm fully expecting another boy and will be thrilled to add boy #4 to our family. I couldn't imagine it any other way at this point. I'll be flabbergasted if this baby is a girl! I won't be any MORE excited though than I would if the baby is a boy.

[MOMYS]

We have 6 sons, but like Cappucinomom we are not planning our own family.... I am pregnant with number 7 and we have chosen not to find out the gender. I must be honest and say that I am finally ready for a little girl but I would not be disappointed either way! My life is so boy-rich and I can't imagine it any other way!

[MOMYS]

BoringTales, we have the same thing! EVERYONE keeps telling us this HAS to be a girl - um, NOPE!

[DivineMrsM]

i did all the "tricks" for a girl. we dtd 5 days before i o'd! and followed all the other rules that i can't really mention on here! lol and it still gave me a boy! lol so i was just meant to be a mom of boys. i'm getting used to the idea. he's gonna be just as awesome as his big brother. and my ods will LOVE having a brother.

[mimid]

We're going to try one more time. If we don't get a boy then it isn't meant to be. I'm kind of worried that if we have a boy then I'll want another so that he isn't too out-numbered. LOL I do have friends with 6 girls (the last two are twins) and then a boy. So it can be done.

[Hoping4sumBBdust]

I have always wanted boys...... I found out with both pregnancies. The first one I guess I was ok with it, really that it was a girl. I had a not so enjoyable pregnancy and a HORRIBLE c-sec, and swore up and down I wasn't going to have more children. 3 months after having DD1, despite being on the pill and exclusively BFing, I got pregnant. I knew this one HAD to be a boy.... the pregnancy was so different, and the day of the U/S, I cried and cried and cried. So, I told DH, thats it then, the girls would play football! After having another horrible c-sec, I really do think we are done.

Having too babies of the same gender will more than likely make them the best of friends. My girls are less than a year apart, and I can see it now. They are already so loving, and my older DD LOVES to share with her sister. I enjoy that when we are done co-sleeping in a few years, they can share a bed and whatnot. I think once you see your child's face at birth, nothing really matters. And I know you know in your heart that you will be happy. It's just a matter of getting over what can feel like a loss. Or like your missing out on something. I feel like I have to tell my DD1 "stop playing in the dirt, you are a girl cause Daddy is watching, and Daddy wants a ballerina" Actually, I was so upset that when I had my girls, I told everyone I did not want ANYTHING pink!!!! I understand how you feel, but there a lot of great things to look forward to with two boys. Enjoy your pregnancy,

It really seems like majority of people WANT girls, but have boys. Why am I different? My desire for boys were SOOOOOOO strong. But like most of you, I wouldn't have it any other way now!

[ChickFamily]

Iam a mom of two boys and a girl but I came from a family of three sisters so there was 4 of us, when my mom was pregnant with my youngest sister she desperately wanted a boy and when she found out it was a girl she was soo devastated that she cried and acted as if she didnt want the baby. It bothered my sisters and I b/c we felt like we were not good enough for her to just have girls. Of course though she loves my little sister as she does all of us but her reaction just astounded us