kids, weddings and champagne

[AbbieB]

Would you let your 5 year old sip some champagne at a wedding?

I let my DD do this at my cousin's wedding last year and my sister FLIPPED OUT. And I mean flipped out. She made a small scene.

So now she is planning her wedding and this is a bit of an issue. Apparently it's so inappropriate that I would ruin her wedding if I let DD do this.

[Storm Bride]

A sip of champagne? Sure. I don't see a problem with that, and I'm sure I've seen at least one child have a sip at every wedding I've ever been at.

Since this is your sister's wedding, could you just tell your dd that Auntie X doesn't want her to have any, and tell your sister you won't let your dd have any? I think it's ridiculous to get so worked up about it, but it's obviously weighing heavily on your sister's mind, for whatever reason.

[earthmama369]

I don't see the problem. I let dd sip champagne at our friends' wedding when she was 2. She was enthralled by the raspberry at the bottom of the champagne flute and wanted to try some. Why not?

[katiesk]

no big deal. but since it's your sister's wedding...maybe your dd could refrain...

[MeepyCat]

Really? If you let your 6 yo child have a little teeny taste of the beverage being served to everyone else at a wedding reception (which will presumably have *dozens* of people), it will ruin your sister's entire wedding? Does she propose to spend the reception hovering behind your child to make sure no one gives the sweet baby any wine?

Here is what I think:
1. I don't think it's a big deal for children that age to be given sips of adult beverages.
2. I think it is ridiculous for a host to hand out beverages at a function and then expect to police who consumes them. My experience with alcohol and parties is that you hand out what you hand out, and the people who want it, drink it. Those people may not be the people you want to have it. If it's that important to you that certain individuals not consume alcohol, don't serve it.
3. I think that most parents are capable of deciding on whether this appropriate for themselves, without intervention, and that children are unlikely to come to harm from either indulgence or denial in this area.

I think you have to talk with your sister about this (emphasize your ability to make responsible decisions for your family, and your preferences about how to deal with DD's natural and age-appropriate curiousity about "adult" stuff). Alas, she is clearly not reasonable on this issue, and probably not going to become reasonable before her wedding.

[camracrazy]

I wouldn't feel that something like giving a child a sip of a beverage (that really wasn't intended for them) was more important than my sister's feelings. It's her special day (and hopefully the only wedding day she will ever have! ). I'm sure there will be plenty of other weddings where you can let your DD drink whatever she wishes.

[ShadowMoon]

I don't think it's a big deal at all. However, it will be your sister's wedding so you could do one of two things. Talk to her about it before hand (way before hand) or refrain from allowing your daughter to sip the champagne and let her sip something else instead. I know it may seem ridiculous but is her wedding and, IMO, not worth the fight this one time.

[RiverTam]

I don't think it's a big deal, but if your sister is having a moose about it, I wouldn't do it.

It's not worth the fight.

If your daughter wants to participate in the toast, you could get a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling white grape juice. Maybe all of the kids could have some... with raspberries in their glasses!

[Alyantavid]

Originally Posted by RiverTam

I don't think it's a big deal, but if your sister is having a moose about it, I wouldn't do it.

It's not worth the fight.

If your daughter wants to participate in the toast, you could get a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling white grape juice. Maybe all of the kids could have some... with raspberries in their glasses!

That. I wouldn't think it was a big deal.

[limabean]

I don't give my kids sips of alcohol, but I can't imagine getting worked up because someone else did.

That said, if this is that important to your sister, I would refrain from doing it at her wedding -- it just wouldn't be worth it to me.

[MamaStarbird]

I don't see a problem with it-- my parents always let me try a sip of what they were drinking and I figured out pretty quickly that alcohol was actually pretty yucky and not some special grownup drink that I was missing out on.

That said, it's your sister's BIG DAY so just humor her. At least she's willing to have your kids at her wedding.

[Mommaloves]

I guess I don't see it as being a really big deal. On the other hand, if it bothers your sister that much and it's her wedding - I wouldn't do it. It isn't as if your child NEEDS to sip champagne.

[Just Elsa]

Add me to the long list of, "no big deal, but don't." Don't do something you know will offend your host even if she's being a little silly. It's gracious to comply with requests that don't hurt us.

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

A sip of champagne? Sure. I don't see a problem with that, and I'm sure I've seen at least one child have a sip at every wedding I've ever been at.

Since this is your sister's wedding, could you just tell your dd that Auntie X doesn't want her to have any, and tell your sister you won't let your dd have any? I think it's ridiculous to get so worked up about it, but it's obviously weighing heavily on your sister's mind, for whatever reason.

I tend to agree with this one - I'd probably add to my kid, "Auntie X is uncomfortable with little kids having sips of grownup drinks, and we're going to respect her wishes because this is her wedding party."

As a similar story: My inlaws do not drink, at all, it's a religious thing. We did not want to make them pay for the alcohol at our rehearsal dinner or wedding, which is customary in some regions...so we paid for it ourselves. It was a respect issue.

If your sister was asking you to do something *harmful* to your kid, I could see making a big deal about it - but she's just asking you to NOT do something that's not really a big deal. This is not a hill I'd die on.

FWIW, I wouldn't offer my under 12-ish kid a sip of an alcoholic beverage, but I also wouldn't make a huge stink about someone else doing it with their kid.

[Just Elsa]

[QUOTE=MeepyCat;13875048]
2. I think it is ridiculous for a host to hand out beverages at a function and then expect to police who consumes them. My experience with alcohol and parties is that you hand out what you hand out, and the people who want it, drink it. Those people may not be the people you want to have it. If it's that important to you that certain individuals not consume alcohol, don't serve it.
QUOTE]

The problem with this is that (at least in the USA) the host is accountable for minors drinking. In this case it's not really an issue but I cannot legally hand out liquor at my party and then shrug my shoulders and declare it not-my-business if teenagers start getting trashed. I'm legally liable, up to and including being charged with crimes if they hurt themselves or others. The "anyone can drink if it's served" reasoning doesn't work with our laws here in the US.

[dubfam]

Originally Posted by RiverTam

I don't think it's a big deal, but if your sister is having a moose about it, I wouldn't do it.

It's not worth the fight.

If your daughter wants to participate in the toast, you could get a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling white grape juice. Maybe all of the kids could have some... with raspberries in their glasses!

I agree!! I would also abstain from alcohol so my child wouldn't feel so singled out!

But I would be PIIIIISSSSSSSSSEEEEEDDDD off at her controlling behavior, and it would be very hard for me to bite my tongue.

What is it with weddings anyway? Why do the guests have to jump through so many hoops in the name of someone else's 'Special day'? It isn;t like the bride OWNS the guests. I can't think of any other social situation where it would be appropriate to set rules like this. But that is the standard in this country at weddings it seems. Ridiculous :
(stepping off soapbox!)

[IlluminatedAttic]

Originally Posted by RiverTam

I don't think it's a big deal, but if your sister is having a moose about it, I wouldn't do it.

It's not worth the fight.

If your daughter wants to participate in the toast, you could get a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling white grape juice. Maybe all of the kids could have some... with raspberries in their glasses!

:

[babymommy2]

I wouldn't give it to my child because I don't give my children alcohol, even sips, and alos if you do give sips, for this particular situation it is not like you HAVE to give it, there are alternatives, I think it is being respectful towards your sister not give a sip in this case, although the legal issue of minors taking alcohol, I'm not sure of your venue, but could a big deal be made of this if wait staff were to notice you doing this?

I have to say I am really suprised by the number of people who say it is not a big deal to give kids sips of alcohol! A while ago there was a thread on drinking pop, and the majority of people who completely against pop. I'd take pop aver alcohol any day.

[DivineMrsM]

i don't see the big deal either, to give a kid a small sip of something. kids are all about discovering new things and i love to show my son new things!

for the sake of your sister's sanity, i would humour her...for now. she won't be watching you and your kid all nite. so just tell her that you won't, and if you choose to later, so be it!

[riverscout]

Haven't read the thread yet...

Originally Posted by AbbieB

Would you let your 5 year old sip some champagne at a wedding?

Sure, if they asked. My dad used to let me have a little baby sips of his beer at that age, and I lived to tell the tale.