Originally Posted by choli
Why is the shirt-lifting being described by some as flashing anyway? She is 5, there is nothing to flash. Are we now expected to tut tut about a 5 year old's chest?
THIS is what bothers me so much about discussions like this...all of the sudden, the people who are shocked by something like this, become the "prudish busy bodies who are being nosey and making big deals out of nothing and who are probably really fridgid and making sexual a childs body when it's NOT!" - I have a wonderful and healthy sexual relatipnship with my DH, sex is a free and easy subject in my household and bodies are NOT shameful here.
I do NOT "tut tut" a childs body...in fact, I LOVE naked children. NOTHING is more beautiful to me, than the naked three/four/ five year old, dancing through the sprinklers in her yard, completely unaware of the fact that anyone else might be wishing she put some clothes on. I love a child, being okay with their body....I see a three year old, in naked defiance...running wild and free...and I think to myself "God, mama of this child, lethim be free and naked, let him live without body shame and self concsious modesty as long as he can!" - I truly, truly do not "tut tut" or think a childs body is sexual and therefore should be hidden....BUT
I can't wrap my head around a five year old little girl, propositioning a neighborhood boy for sex, AND pulling up her bikini top in a seductive (not playful) manner AND talking about "spanking in the bedroom" AND strutting like a super model ALL IN a neighborhood where, apparently, ten year olds are having sex AND WHILE she is the babysitter for her two year old brother. If she's in charge of watching her two year old sibling...who is in charge of watching HER? I just think that everything combined....the chances are a little higher, that this revealing her flat, childs chest...MAY BE less about a defiant act of learned-on-TV sexual behavior, so much as maybe behavior that is encouraged by saaaay, a creepy uncle or neighbor. I mean, someone doesn't HAVE to be touching her (yet) for them to be planting seeds. THe OP described this girl as being one of those little girls who is very pretty, in a "tiny super model" kind of way. You've seen the young girls like this...strikingly beautiful girls, who have very "super model-ish" features, like those little beauty queens, who look like pint sized, grown women.
I think bodies are beautiful. I remember when I was in kidergarten, we would go on the monkey bars and taunt the boys and when they came close, we would quickly flip upside down, so our undies would show and then taunt them louder "Haha! Stupid boys!! HAHAH!" and they would be grossed out and run away and we would shake our little tushes at them....somehow, this panty power we had, was thrilling to us. We were way too little to understand that this was the beginning of our fist awareness of our own sexuality, what it ment to us and the effect it had on the opposite sex, which would one day become so impotant to us....but we didn't care. All we knew, was we "fought" the boys, because, obviously boys were gross, because they thought that we were gross...and somehow our panties were like nerve gas to them....it was a game!
This little girl is not playing games...she is interacting in a sexual way with her peers, she is trying t oattract sexual attention...she is obviously NOT treated liket eh kid she is, at home, if she is put in charge of the two year old sibling...so, I am led to wonder, in what other ways, is this child being treated like an adult? What if she struts her little "pint sized super model" self, around the wrong uncle...or a neighbor who is dangerous...I mean, would anyone notice she was gone, if she wandered ito the lawn of the guy who lives across the street and has been watching her strutting, lifting up her shirt, etc...? What about these ten year olds in the neighborhood having sex? What if she propositioned ONE OF THEM?
All I'm saying is....I'm less worried about a kid who is playing "yucky boys, let's 'get them' with our panties!" or a kid who is flashing her little flat chest...who has involved parents at home keeping an eye on her, meeting her sexual curiosity with information that fits with age appropriate sexual values....explaining that sex is not something you do with the six year old neighbor. I'm less worried about a kid displaying this behavior, who has parents at home who care and are involved....this girl is left alone to watch her two year old brother...anyone want to put money down, on how supportive and instructive her parents are, in her sexual play?
Again...maybe this is so shocking to me, becase I have a one year old, because I'm not ready for her to start growing up and knowing what sex is...maybe that's it. Again, I respect SO MUCH the input of you mamas who I *know* care about protecting your own five year olds, who say this is normal...but when I think back to my 5/6/7 year old friends and I and the sx play we were involved in...it wasn't like this. It was big groups of us, someone acting as officiant and marrying us off in pairs...then we had to play house and went under the playground platforms and that was our "house"...you know? It was all about that...it wasn't SEXY. It wasn't RAUNCHY...no one knew anything about seducing a boy with sexy body movements and sex talk. I don't know. Ugh.