I'm an introvert and I don't like playdates or kids at my house.. - Page 2

[bobandjess99]

I hate other kids. really. DD constantly ants a bunch of bratty neighborhood kids to be over at our house, and I hate it. I frequently say no and she will cry and cry. but i can't stand it. i can't stand noise at all, and my own kids have been educated as to how to mak very little noise but otyher kids just whoop and holler and I can't take it. And they are all so RUDE and MEAN. Pushing dd off her own stuff, being mean to little ds, and worst of all, puting ideas in dd's head she wouldn't have though of on her own (i.e let's haul all the sandbox sand across the yard into the playhouse! or let's climp up onto the playhouse ROOF!)
*shudders*

[Laurel]

[QUOTE=MamaStarbird;13880385If there's a neighborhood house where all the kids always gravitate, it means there are a lot of other houses where kids AREN'T hanging out, right? If someone else loves being that mom and having that household, great. She can be happy with a house full of kids and you can be happy without it. Everyone wins.[/QUOTE]

Not necessarily. I've somehow become the "koolaid mom" (minus the koolaid) in my neighborhood. I'm an introvert too and really prefer it to be just my kids most of the time. But my ds is an extrovert and needs lots of socializing in order to be happy, so I oblige. I think I have fairly good boundaries with the neighborhood kids, and am not afraid to send them home if it gets to be too much.

But it does bug me that some of these other kids' moms do not reciprocate the hospitality! In fact, the one mom who kids spend the bulk of their time at my house refuses to let other children come and play at her house. I think it's fine of you're an introvert and can't deal with other kids. But just make sure that your kids aren't wearing out their welcome at other people's houses and that other moms aren't feeling like they're the only hosts out there. I'm not saying the OP is doing this... but just bringing it up as a general consideration. Just because all the neighborhood kids are hanging out at one house most of the time does not mean that that mom loves it. I know in my own neighborhood I'd like to see more balance between where the kids play.

[lolar2]

Right-- hospitality should be reciprocated, but not necessarily in kind. So if your kids are frequently going over to Mr. and Mrs. Smith's house, you do need to invite Mr. and Mrs. Smith's kids to do something; but it doesn't have to be a playdate at your house. You could invite the whole Smith family over for dinner (or coffee or whatever); you could invite the Smith kids to come OUT with your kids for skating or a children's museum or whatever the kids do these days (with your family paying, of course); something to show Mr. and Mrs. Smith that you appreciate and want to reciprocate their generosity.

You're not obligated to do anything for the kids' friends who also are congregating at the Smiths' house though. Only for the friends whose parents actually offer them hospitality. Or I guess if your kids are begging to invite a friend over, it would be nice to accommodate them somehow (not necessarily at your house).

[Kyamo]

Since you said you never made any rule, they just stopped doing it, is it possible that your kids are fine with it or even like the situation? When I was a kid, I rarely/never invited kids over. I hated worrying about if they might break my toys or mess up my stuff, or be judging in their head thinking the house was dirty, having to clean up before they came, etc. I played with other kids at their house or outside, or stayed home and played with my sister. It wasn't because of my mom (although now that I'm older I think she was probably glad I did that, we are both introverts).

[phathui5]

I feel like they might be missing out on something vital because I have this dumb aversion.

I'd have to agree with you. At least part of the time, your kids should feel comfortable having friends come to their house, not having to go elsewhere all the time to socialize.

[OakBerry]

I think you can find a happy medium somewhere.
I don't really like having other kids at our house either.
It seems everyone else has a designated playroom, usually in the basement, so the kids can go off down there and are not in the main living area of the home and the noise is well, downstairs.

We have a smallish house, and no playroom. Some toys are in ds's room, the rest is in the living room. So when kids are over, they are in your face and in your space the entire time, and it can get really noisy.

So my happy medium is to invite a friend maybe once or twice a month. I figure I can take it for a few hours, then my "duty" is done, lol.

We don't live in a neighborhood with lots of kids, so we don't have anyone "just coming over". Normally all playdates are dropped off by parents, via car, and arranged beforehand.