co-sleeping incident - wwyd/t

[changes]

I'm so sorry to have to say we had a horrible co-sleeping incident at night...still feel absolutely horrible about it and do not know what best to do, really.

Our 3y old recently moved to the kids' room where he sleeps with his sibling, each sleeps in their own bed. However, he does co-sleep some full nights and in fact large part of most nights in our room, inbetween us. It was his initiative to do so and it needed some adjustment from all of us, since he was very restless at night and often kept us awake and has been sometimes slapping/kicking in his sleep, and sometimes doing so when being already awake in the morning. But it gradually became more pleasant for all of us and we actually enjoyed the sudden ''closer'ness' at night.

Now, he was awake early and had been kicking/slapping me at some point in my sleep which made me partly awake and as a response to this not so pleasant experience I shoved him towards my husbands side and continued my sleep. Then I, still mostly asleep, suddenly grabbed the sheets at the bottom of the bed that had been pulled away, with my leg(s), which unintendedly resulted in a hard blow to my child's head (appeared to be nose) who, awake, apparently had crawled to the foot end. Of course we were all suddenly very awake when that happened, he also really was very upset and hurt and he had a sudden nosebleed and it was all so very awful. And I still feel so so guilty for what happened. My husband isn't too happy either, of course, but I had no idea what I'd been doing there untill it happened and since I was really asleep. Now I wonder it to be still safe to cosleep with a child that can be moving around and at times pretty active in our bed (having really hurt us more than once) and after this incident where the one kicking has been actually myself :-(. I do not trust me even anymore, because if it happens once it could happen again? On the other hand, I do not wish to deny him cosleeping with us nor would I lile to miss it myself because it has been such a wonderful thing, until now.

Has this kind of thing happened to anyone else? Makes this incident a cosleeping situation unsafe?

[stacyann21]

Awww it happens mama. I've knocked DS in the head a couple of times LOL. My niece slept in a crib and then toddler bed and she has fallen out and been hurt so many times. I don't think it can be completely prevented either way. Well, maybe with a night time helmet

[1littlebit]

it happens. DS moves as much when hes sleeping as he does when hes awake. some nights feel like wrestling matches and i wake up and wonder the same thing you are. i tried to move him to a crib and he continually got his legs stuck in the bars, i tried to put him in a toddler bed and he fell out of it. as it turns out he moves so much that sleeping seems to be hazardous no matter where he does it. no idea why though. i definitely understand where your coming from though.

[phatchristy]

Here I have to be honest and tell you that once the LOs get big enough to do damage (and yes, I've been kicked in the nose/face/accidentally slapped--two kids were like that) I switched the arrangement. If someone had a bad night or woke up overnight I'd escort them back to their beds and stay with them until they went to sleep. Then I'd tip toe out. That way you can still comfort them.

Do you have multiple LO? My daughters sleep in the same room, and that works really well to comfort eachother.

[ssh]

My 3.5 year old DD moves a lot while sleeping. She's ends up laying across the bottom of the bed sometimes. I just move her so she won't roll off. She's still nursing to sleep so I don't see it changing anytime soon. She has shown some interests in sleeping in her own bed, but she'll probably still end up in ours before the end of the night.

[milkmamamerina]

Our 3 1/2 year old DS was getting too active (hits/kicks/rolling/etc.) in bed so we have him sleep on a mattress on the floor touching our bed that is up on boxsprings. We have even had to put up one of those mesh bedrails because he was rolling out of bed onto the floor. He still comes up to sleep with his daddy (I've got baby on the far side of the bed) but he can be repositioned back to the floor mattress. Or if DH is concerned about disturbing DS occasionally he will leave DS in "big bed" and will go down to the "small bed" on his own.

[ernalala]

nevermind

[ernalala]

nevermind

[KristaDJ]

I've busted my toddler in the face pulling the sheets up while fully awake....it happens If you really aren't comfortable then it's time to stop but don't let this one incident decide that for you.

[changes]

Thank you for the replies.
They at least make me feel more normal around the incident...
I really was so scared that I'd injured him very badly with such a blow to his head, cfr. broken nose and/or brain injury, and then when his nose started to bleed I must admit I almost got frantic! I've been watching him like a hawk for most of the next 24 hrs and beyond, but he actually seemed really ok more or less 1 hour after it happened. And the nosebleed was most likely due to a small cut/injury at the base of his nostril, not higher up in the nose.
And luckily, when asked him about it later he was not angry with me for hurting him like that and our relationship was just fine as before. He actually wanted to come in the bed to rest soon after it happened. And he likes to sleep with us still.
BUT as concerned/shocked parents we do feel more comfortable for him now to sleep in his own bed most part of the night, and we communicate this need to him and he seems ok with that as long as he can come and fall asleep in my arms in ours, and can join us/me in the morning, and probably so once in a while at night still. None of us would be comfortable with totally quitting the cosy moments based on this one unfortunate incident.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by phatchristy 

Here I have to be honest and tell you that once the LOs get big enough to do damage (and yes, I've been kicked in the nose/face/accidentally slapped--two kids were like that) I switched the arrangement. If someone had a bad night or woke up overnight I'd escort them back to their beds and stay with them until they went to sleep. Then I'd tip toe out. That way you can still comfort them.
 

[Squrrl]

Honestly, I think this is just a hazard of physical closeness, not just bedsharing.  I knock my kid on the head or whatever all the time because she insists on being right on top of me all the GD time, right behind me when I'm turning with full hands, dodging in front of me as I go through doorways....  Not to say that it couldn't be an issue, but one rotten night is not an indictment of any particular parenting technique--it's just a bad night.  Sure, I'd be feeling pretty terrible if I gave my kid a nosebleed, but I think it's just the sort of thing that, well, happens!