what does this mean?

[ScarletBegonias]

a little background: dd, 3, is high needs. she is extremely sensitive, can be flippant, and is very observant and intelligent. i can't believe some of the things she puts together. she has done everything "early".

so here is what happened last night:

we are reading Hippos Go Berserk, a book we've read hundreds of times over the past couple years. when we get to the end she starts crying because "the hippo is all alone!" she proceeds to cry softly and ask why he's alone for the next hour, maybe longer. : then she wants to find him happy in the book, going through each page trying to 'read' his facial expression and interpret it.

she has these reactions all.the.time.all.day.long. it's just her.

i don't know what to do. she exhausts me emotionally/mentally. i want to be zen and calm, but she is like an energy vampire. she drives me to the brink everyday. am i missing something? i mean, is this typical kid behavior? am i too sensitive?

i'm just rambling here, but i'm doubting my ability to un/homeschool my daughter with love and patience. thanks for listening.

[Storm Bride]

She sounds as if she's both unusually sensitive, and unusually volatile. DD is similar. Yes - it's very, very emotionally draining. I don't really have any advice for coping, except to focus on the positive.

[One_Girl]

I just screen my dd's books and videos really well. She gets a little better every year and is more capable of handling things that would have sent her into hysterical tears now that she is six then she was when she was three, she is definitely not like her peers though. There are many books and movies that we still can't watch because they are to sad and scary to her. I never felt it was draining though, I am happy that she doesn't view things like being alone, abandoned, teased, isolated, or murdered as normal.

[ScarletBegonias]

we screen everything our kids see/hear/read as much as possible too. we *have* to! but this is a book we've read literally hundreds of times, with much laughter and fun, yk?

for me the hard part is knowing how to react in a healthy way. i don't want to squash/belittle/ignore her sensitive feelings in any way, but the way i react usually makes her sadder and more melancholy. i LOVE that she is so in tune, i just find it challenging figuring out how to react.

i requested some books from the library on parenting sensitive children. hopefully i find some help there.

[ScarletBegonias]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

She sounds as if she's both unusually sensitive, and unusually volatile. DD is similar. Yes - it's very, very emotionally draining. I don't really have any advice for coping, except to focus on the positive.

thanks mama!

[eepster]

These articles might help you understand her.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by One_Girl

I never felt it was draining though, I am happy that she doesn't view things like being alone, abandoned, teased, isolated, or murdered as normal.

The one really has nothing to do with the other. DD's sensitivity can be very sweet. However, the extreme emotional reactions are very draining for some personalities, and I'm one of them. Having anybody cry or scream for an hour would leave me wiped out. When it's someone who is dependent on me, and I don't really have the option of just flaking out after they're done, it's even worse. (I had a relative who used to be a bit like this. After dealing with one of her emotional storms, I'd go curl up by myself with a book for at least half an hour, to recharge. That doesn't work with kids.)

Hang in there, OP. IME, it does get a bit easier to cope with over time.

[LynnS6]

I recommend two books:

The Highly Sensitive Child
Living with Intensity

It sounds like your daughter is emotionally sensitive and intense, which is a hard combo. Our dd is like that, and yes, it IS draining. I'm in the middle of Living with Intensity and it's helping me a bit to understand my dd (OK and myself).

[Adele_Mommy]

I don't have much help, but I just had to post and say my dd did the exact same thing. We had read Hippos Go Berserk (which I love by the way) many many times and suddenly one time dd is miserable because the hippo is left all alone and looks sad at the end. In this case I told her I was sure the hippo would call friends again and have another party, maybe the very next night. I think we even read the book through again only as far as the middle page where the hippos party. I seem to recall this was not 100% helpful but did help some.

My dd is now 8 and deals better, but she still sometimes needs dh, or a friend, or myself to have read a new book first and tell her that it ends happy. She can tolerate some scary or sad stuff in the middle. but she really needs all her books to end happy.

It really is quite draining when things that seem minor to me are so devastating to her. When dd was a little baby I once ended up crying at a doctor's appt. and the pediatrician, who was not dd's regular dr., said to me, "You are clearly very sensitive, so you daughter probably is too." (!) This led to our being handed a sheet on sleep training / cry it out techniques which we promptly threw in the garbage. I guess sensitivity does run in my family though, which makes me both more sympathetic to my dd and, I think, less able to cope with her reactions. It's hard. Good luck!