Offered to take friends child on vacation help about $ - Page 2

[lilyka]

i think the best bet then is to say you have looked at it more and it really wouldn't work. will she ever meet your distant out east family? could you just say "i talk to my family about it and they would really rather not have an extra guest"

honestly I wouldn't be offended if you came to me and said "you know what . . this just isn't going to work out. its going to cost a lot extra to bring another kid, i don't think I can handle this many kids blah blah" but it would be very important that you did it soorer than later.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by lilyka

i think the best bet then is to say you have looked at it more and it really wouldn't work. will she ever meet your distant out east family? could you just say "i talk to my family about it and they would really rather not have an extra guest"

honestly I wouldn't be offended if you came to me and said "you know what . . this just isn't going to work out. its going to cost a lot extra to bring another kid, i don't think I can handle this many kids blah blah" but it would be very important that you did it soorer than later.

I agree. If I invited a friends child to come along, I would only expect the child to bring pocket money for souviners etc.

If someone invited my child along, and then wanted 300 or 400 or more dollars outside of spending money, I would decline.

I know there is no easy way I could afford to bring an extra child on a road trip with us, so I wouldn't offer the invite.

No matter what the deal, you need to talk to the parent if the money they offerred doesn't work for your family.

[Lovemy3babies]

Originally Posted by Shiloh

For me I guess its mostly about the cost.
It's going to be a lot of work for me.
I wasn't really thinking inviting him would be me paying for all of his expenses.
I am glad ya'll let me know thats what it would be. I will be really cautious if I invite another kid. If I invite a kid to go with us to the zoo, I pay for their tickets, food, etc. But over two weeks I didn't realise the same rules applied..

Yes he could be a helper but he's the quiet kid and I've seen him with his younger brother .....when he's put in charge he's not quite on the ball.

If it were a weekend but this is going to be over two weeks and if I need another hotel room - my kids are small...ouch. My other 'kid' is my aupair.
So I do have a mother's helper and my boys are really well behaved so its not like I am desperate for some help beyond what I got.

I dont think the same rules apply. I am surprised people think you should foot the bill. Me and my sister were invited on tons and tons of family vacations with friends growing up, and our parents always payed. It was like, Hey, i would really like Erika to come to cedar point with us, we will pay for food but cant really afford the tickets, spending money, if you could, we would love to take her. ". My parents always payed!

[ChristyMarie]

Originally Posted by Lovemy3babies

I dont think the same rules apply. I am surprised people think you should foot the bill. Me and my sister were invited on tons and tons of family vacations with friends growing up, and our parents always payed. It was like, Hey, i would really like Erika to come to cedar point with us, we will pay for food but cant really afford the tickets, spending money, if you could, we would love to take her. ". My parents always payed!

Um...yeah. I went with friends a couple of times and my mom paid my way. Another time (yes, still remember!) I couldn't go because my mom couldn't afford the trip.

Taking her child for 2 weeks is quite a gift, I would never expect you to cover his costs as well. In fact, I might pay you extra for the quiet time!

[angelcollector1]

Gosh I would have mortgaged my house to give someone I trusted $ to take my son away when he was a child. He's 20 now and if I want to get rid of him I could just give him the $, if I had it.

I think it was nice of you to offer. I think you need to find out what the cost of things is going to be and talk to your friend about it and if it's going to be more than the $200 she offered, which I think is generous, many people don't have it to give for one child to go away for 2 weeks, then you either need to accept that and cover the rest of the costs or rescind the invitation.

Good luck.

[phathui5]

I didnt realise I was commiting to paying for it by inviting him.

Generally, that's what I'd assume unless it was a formal invitation like "Hey, we're going to ___ and it'll cost $___, do you want to send little Billy along?"

[babymommy2]

I dont think the same rules apply. I am surprised people think you should foot the bill. Me and my sister were invited on tons and tons of family vacations with friends growing up, and our parents always payed. It was like, Hey, i would really like Erika to come to cedar point with us, we will pay for food but cant really afford the tickets, spending money, if you could, we would love to take her. ". My parents always payed!

The difference in the OP situation is that in the original conversation she diidn't the child would have to pay their own way, the mom did offer 200$. To now go back and ask for more is not right. I think you have to just suck it up as the way you asked did imply you would pay for it (even though you didn't mean it or realize it) or honestly say that after thinking aobut it, it will be too much work, or too much money, or your family don't want an additional guest.

[KristaDJ]

It doesn't sound to me like you invited him at all. I mean, you guys were up late talking about your trip and you said "it's too bad we can't take your son" That's not an invitation. You said it was too bad you couldn't take him, she's now offering to give you $200 to help you to take him, just tell her it's not enough and you still can't take him.

[jess152]

Originally Posted by ChristyMarie

Taking her child for 2 weeks is quite a gift, I would never expect you to cover his costs as well. In fact, I might pay you extra for the quiet time!

This is such a good point!!!

This may not help you decide what to do, but when we go on trips, we always stop into a Safeway or Save On Foods on the road for lunches: fresh buns, cheese, meat, and some bananas and apples and you are fed for under $20 for the whole family. And it's better for you than a happy meal! Maybe there are some ways like this you can economize to make it work. Un-inviting him now would probably be heartbreaking for this kid and yours too.

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ

It doesn't sound to me like you invited him at all. I mean, you guys were up late talking about your trip and you said "it's too bad we can't take your son" That's not an invitation. You said it was too bad you couldn't take him, she's now offering to give you $200 to help you to take him, just tell her it's not enough and you still can't take him.

This is exactly how I read it, too.

[Green Eyes]

I've always thought that if you invite, you pay. We've taken a friend of our daughter's (it's been different friends but usually one at a time) with us on trips since our daughter is an only and we've always paid for everything for the guest. It can get pretty expensive, but we figure it's still cheaper than having another kid.

[Equuskia]

Originally Posted by KristaDJ

It doesn't sound to me like you invited him at all. I mean, you guys were up late talking about your trip and you said "it's too bad we can't take your son" That's not an invitation. You said it was too bad you couldn't take him, she's now offering to give you $200 to help you to take him, just tell her it's not enough and you still can't take him.

I read it the same way as well. I wouldn't expect any family to take my kid on a two week trip and completely foot the bill unless they were incredibly wealthy and would have been offended if I offered money.