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What did you accidentally teach your child?

post #1 of 91
Thread Starter 
Come on, you know we've all been there. Everybody has unwittingly taught their child something they didn't mean to - a shouted curse word when you dropped that jar of pickles on your foot and then your two-year-old screamed it in the grocery store for the next three months, or maybe you said something about your MIL you shouldn't have and your LO repeated it...often.

I have been teaching my 14 month old daughter different animals. She has some wooden magnets with animal pictures on them and she holds them up and I say the name of the animal.

Well, every time she holds up the picture of the cockatoo I trip up. I know what a cockatoo is, but I always almost say "parrot" so when she asks me what it is, I always slip up and say "ummm..." and then have think a second before answering. Every. Time.

Now she is convinced that a cockatoo is called an "ummm." Whenever she sees one in the store or in a book or at the zoo, she yells "UMM! UMM!" Nothing I do seems to convince her that it is, in fact, NOT called an "ummm."

post #2 of 91
The word "crap." My mom "taught" my DS the word s*&t at the young age of 2 yo. He knew exactly how to use it which made us feel that he was pretty good with language but we just ignored it and he stopped. Grandma had to stop using it, too.

We have to really watch what we say when we're driving. Not that we yell at other drivers but sometimes I'll say "what are you thinking" or something similar to another driver and DS just latches onto it. He'll either start questioning what the other driver was doing or he'll want to know exactly what the other driver was doing wrong.

It's amazing how great kids ears really are when you think they aren't listening.
post #3 of 91
the word "penis"
post #4 of 91
I "accidently" taught my 9 month old how to climb the stairs. She would crawl to the stairs, get stuck(at the bottom) turn around and go back where she came from. I showed her she could climb them. I didn't think she would get it in one try!
post #5 of 91
To say "dammit." Whoops! He uses it correctly, at least...
post #6 of 91
the "cockatoos are called ummm" story is wonderful! That's just hilarious!
post #7 of 91
We've got a bunch of single guys who bought the house next door, which has a pool in the backyard (this is a very cozy culdesac in a VERY family-oriented neighborhood) They've had a few loud parties which drive me BERSERCK- and I've expressed my annoyance, while trying to be careful of the words I chose, etc. Well, my dh had a talk with them a few weeks ago, and they were very nice about it, gave us their cell#s to call if they got too loud, etc., and they've been very considerate about moving the party indoors no later than 9pm since then- I'm delighted! Unfortunately, my dd had been listening a little too well, and we got home from a walk last week to find that the neighbors were having friends over in the pool and were all laughing and having a good time-- this was about 2pm on a Saturday- totally acceptable- and my dd (3.5yo) starts waving her finger and shouting "Charlie's friends are being ROWDY! Do you hear them? They are being rowdy over there!" Oops!
post #8 of 91
Just thought of another-- we were driving through the parking lot of our grocery store the other day (we were both tired and cranky), and somebody almost backed into us (teenage boys driving, being directed by teenage girls out of the car and obviously not paying any attention) and I grumbled "dumba***es"-- to which my dd said "mom-- don't say dumb!" (I very seldom swear in front of her- honest!)
post #9 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse View Post
the "cockatoos are called ummm" story is wonderful! That's just hilarious!
What's even funnier is that I try not to say it and then I do and then I say "dammit!" If I don't stop this insanity, she is going to think it's called an "ummm, dammit!"

post #10 of 91


I taught my son to say, "Hey!!" when he wants someone to stop doing something. It wasn't until after I told him not to do it anymore that I realized where he picked it up.

That's the only thing I can really think of . . . the other things they picked up from me aren't things I mind them doing/saying.
post #11 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
Well, every time she holds up the picture of the cockatoo I trip up. I know what a cockatoo is, but I always almost say "parrot" so when she asks me what it is, I always slip up and say "ummm..." and then have think a second before answering. Every. Time.

Now she is convinced that a cockatoo is called an "ummm." Whenever she sees one in the store or in a book or at the zoo, she yells "UMM! UMM!" Nothing I do seems to convince her that it is, in fact, NOT called an "ummm."


This reminds me of my former next door neighbour. They had a toddler and he was fastinated by my cat. Unfortunately my cat was less fastinated by him and would hiss at him through the fence. His parents told me that whenever they saw pictures of cats and would say something like "Cat's say miaow" he would correct them and say "No, cat says kkhhsss!"
post #12 of 91
shit. what the heck!!!
post #13 of 91
When DD was about 5 she came up to me when I had a drink in my hand and distracted by the computer, it was a Long Island Iced Tea. She asked me what it was, I told her, she asked me what was in it so I told her the recipie. Two weeks later at a gathering, dad asks if I want a drink and DD pipes up with "Give him a long island iced tea. That's 1 part vodka, 1 part tequila, 1 part rum, 1 part gin, 1 part triple sec, 1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix, and coke." I pretty sure some people there were from then on convince I am a lush and training DD to mix drinks for me.
post #14 of 91
Thread Starter 
Ugh, I forgot this one and a friend just reminded me. It's so embarrassing.

Several months ago, My baby girl got down on the floor and started humping it. She was crawling and trying to dance (bounce her butt) at the same time and it just looked...wrong. I walked in and looked at DH and asked "why is she humping the floor?"

Ever. Since. Then. She does it whenever I say the word "hump." She will even bring over her book with a picture of Humpty Dumpty in it and point to it and when I say "that's Humpty Dumpty" she will get down on the floor and do it again. AUGH! It's so mortifying. I always try to ignore it and never make a big deal out of it, but it's like she's psychic and knows it disturbs me to no end!
post #15 of 91
This kind of reminds me of the one of Bill Cosby's old stand-up routines.
The parent is yelling at their children and saying "Goddamnit I told you not to do that!" Kid says "But Dad...he's Goddamnit, I'm Jesus Christ"
post #16 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
When DD was about 5 she came up to me when I had a drink in my hand and distracted by the computer, it was a Long Island Iced Tea. She asked me what it was, I told her, she asked me what was in it so I told her the recipie. Two weeks later at a gathering, dad asks if I want a drink and DD pipes up with "Give him a long island iced tea. That's 1 part vodka, 1 part tequila, 1 part rum, 1 part gin, 1 part triple sec, 1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix, and coke." I pretty sure some people there were from then on convince I am a lush and training DD to mix drinks for me.
This is priceless! I bet everyone there thought it was great!
post #17 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
Ugh, I forgot this one and a friend just reminded me. It's so embarrassing.

Several months ago, My baby girl got down on the floor and started humping it. She was crawling and trying to dance (bounce her butt) at the same time and it just looked...wrong. I walked in and looked at DH and asked "why is she humping the floor?"

Ever. Since. Then. She does it whenever I say the word "hump." She will even bring over her book with a picture of Humpty Dumpty in it and point to it and when I say "that's Humpty Dumpty" she will get down on the floor and do it again. AUGH! It's so mortifying. I always try to ignore it and never make a big deal out of it, but it's like she's psychic and knows it disturbs me to no end!
:

it's always the most embarassing stuff they remember!
post #18 of 91
OK, mine's not a word or a phase.

I accidentally taught DS1 to pick things up with his toes. :

He is a high needs kinda kid, and I carried him everwhere on my hip. I quickly learned how to snag something on my toes and bring it up to my hand so I wouldn't have to always be bending over. I could even open the car door with my foot. Before he could crawl, I saw him trying to pick something up with his feet, and getting very frustrated because he couldn't. I felt so bad I apologised to him!
post #19 of 91
"Stupid dog"
post #20 of 91
DS learned to snap his fingers by the time he was a year old.

He's OBSESSED with the dog, who doesn't like him much but is too stupid/lazy to get out of his way. So every morning, I make the dog get up on our bed so DS can't reach him while I'm getting ready. I do this by snapping my fingers over the bed, and telling the dog to come up.

DS's first word was DOGGIE, and he still says it and snaps his fingers at the same time.
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