What did you accidentally teach your child? - Page 5

[StrawberryFields]

When ds was about 2.5... SIL and her little daughter (a little younger than ds) were over. Dh was drinking a bottle of beer. My niece pointed to it and asked her mom, "What is Uncle (DH) drinking?" SIL (I have no idea why...) stuttered and stammered, "He's... he's drinking... water...."

Ds looked at dh, looked at SIL, and declared, "Auntie, that's not WATER! That's a BEER!"

SIL looked embarrassed and changed the subject.

[Dov'sMom]

Having a toddler is like having a moral reflection -- I'm learning about all my bad habits.

I get prickly sometimes, and it's usually a bad idea to talk to me when I'm mad -- much better to just wait a couple of hours. DH always wants to talk about everything right away, so I'm frequently telling him "Don't talk to me right now. Let's talk about this later."

So whenever DS (2.5) doesn't like what we're telling him (usually to stop doing X) he shouts: "Don't talk to me!"

I guess I'm also a little too impatient, because when DS wants something and I say "one minute," he answers, "No, Ima. Not one minute. Right NOW!"

I also tend to blame other people for my problems (mostly DH, not the kids). So the other day DS (newly toilet trained) says to me brightly: "Ima, I made urinade (well, when we "defacate" what comes out is "defecate," so he thinks urine works the same way) on the floor!" and when I asked him why he said "because you didn't take me to the bathroom!" Um, no, because you didn't TELL me you needed to go!


DS2 (16 months) walks around with his hands behind his back. He's been doing that since he started walking, and he looks so silly and self-important doing it, but nearly every time I notice him doing it I find I'm doing it too.

[EnviroBecca]

To pick up items in the store and exclaim, with great indignation, "MADE IN CHINA!" or "TRANS FAT!" (Recently he refused to choose new sneakers, claiming they all had trans fat. )

To gasp, "What terrible driving!" or "What terrible parking!" These, unlike the above, are usually accurate; no shortage of bad driving around here. : He did once point out cars in a junkyard as "terrible parking".

When he was about 18 months, he learned from hearing his parents discuss his diaper that, if he did not want it changed, the thing to say was, "Seems dry." Then he learned our reaction to that. The result was that I would ask him, "Do you need a change?" and he would pat his crotch (outside his clothes ) and say, "Seems dry. Dat's a bad sign!"

All the F-word stories inspire me to add that, at Girl Scout camp this past weekend, one of the other leaders taught the girls a card game that they learned is called "Egyptian Rat . . . Screw" and consistently pronounced that way, complete with pause. I think all but the youngest girls realized what the real name must be but thought it was funnier to play along!

[AAK]

to call our cat's in at night we stand on the porch and "click" our tongues. Turns out, I can "call" our kids that way now too. It actually is awesome, if I need them to follow me around in a place rather than to constantly sounding like a nag by going, "Maya, Maya, come on Maya" I just click my tongue. Works better than the words too.

Amy

[vegemamato]

There was a guy with his arm out the window on the bus the other day.. My eight-yr-old asked why he wasn't following the 'keep arms in' rule and I said that I didn't know..

She then said "maybe he was drunk?"

:

(since I have three kids, I get three responses, right? one more to go..)

[Snowflower]

Originally Posted by ixia

DS1 (4) dislikes clothing - and one evening after a long particular struggle to get him to put pants on (when he was 2-3 or so,) DH said 'I'm sick of seeing your a**hole, put on pants.'

So for the last year, after DS1 finishes using the bathroom, he says "Wipe my a**hole please".

Charming.

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY!!laughup


ok. The "Sorry" thing. She's "Sowry, Sowry, Sowry..." A lot!
and.... To laugh at farts....

[ShannonT]

Originally Posted by HarperRose

No, no, YOU need to learn from HIM. Seriously. My husband and I weight train and the best squat advice out there is to watch children do it. Children have a perfect squat. Adults would do well to watch and learn from them.

On that note, our 19 mo old can deadlift a 10 lb kettlebell. We don't let him do it just willy-nilly, of course, but he watches us use our (much heavier) kbells and he picks up that 10 lb'er and goes to town!

My DD doesn't pick up heavy weights, but will help us load up our free weights with 1.25 and 2.5 lbs plates. She has her only little "heavies"-- those 1 lb dumbbells. She gets on the bench and does chest presses. She can also do biceps curls and overhead presses.

Her newest phrase that she's picked up is "Um, how about...?" when she doesn't like the choice I've offered her.

She's also been yelling that she's "stuck in the mud" whenever she gets stuck. Must have been that Clifford episode where the old cranky guy's boots got stuck in the mud.

And to the PPs who pick up stuff with their feet -- I do the same thing as well. My DH makes fun of my "finger toes", but it does come in handy! DD tries but doesn't get too frustrated when she can't. But, she doesn't have "finger toes" like I do.

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by ShannonT

My DD doesn't pick up heavy weights, but will help us load up our free weights with 1.25 and 2.5 lbs plates. She has her only little "heavies"-- those 1 lb dumbbells. She gets on the bench and does chest presses. She can also do biceps curls and overhead presses.

I love it!!! :

Her newest phrase that she's picked up is "Um, how about...?" when she doesn't like the choice I've offered her.

My 7 yr old does this.

And to the PPs who pick up stuff with their feet -- I do the same thing as well. My DH makes fun of my "finger toes", but it does come in handy! DD tries but doesn't get too frustrated when she can't. But, she doesn't have "finger toes" like I do.

I have long toes, too! My kids have tried, but they don't do it regularly.

[William's Mom]

Originally Posted by PPK

I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind

I can't stop laughing at this!!!

[HarperRose]

Originally Posted by PPK

I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind

I didn't want to forget to quote this one. It was HILARIOUS!!!! :

[ExuberantDaffodil]

I thought "that scared the heck outta me!" and "What the heck!?" were bad. I felt guilty when ds started using those two intermittedly.

But my worst?


"Your mom."

Yes, I have a panache for your mom jokes and my son has heard me one too many times. I didn't even realize he had picked it up until one day we were running late, and he wasn't dressed yet. I said, "Where are your pants?!" and he said back, a perfectly adorable 4 year old voice, "Where are your mom's pants?"