In terms of movies, I didn't see anyone mention HOMEBIRTH DADS. It's not the most "professional" of films since it's done more as a "chat in the living room" sort of film, but it's a great resource for dads who are concerned/opposed to homebirth since the whole thing is just a group of fathers talking about their experiences with homebirth. Some of them were initially against homebirth and it talks about how their opinion changed, it talks about costs and insurance, concerns about safety and the nitty gritty of having a baby born at home.
There's a positive review in Mothering Magazine, and you might want to check out their website to get a better feel for the film: http://homebirthdads.com/
As to the debate about who get's to "choose" and all that... OP, is this tangent helpful for you and the situation you're in? The question of birth location/birth choice and who has more or less "say" in the process is near and dear to many women's hearts, but every family is different and every marriage is approaching the situation from a different place. I'd certainly suggest involving a neutral third party in the discussion and perhaps seeking therapy as a couple or as individuals to help you both address your personal fears and hopes as well as help you come to a meeting point on these things. Pregnancy is a hard time to jump into the fray since there is such an extreme deadline, but you need to feel supported and empowered and he needs to feel confident and capable.
A visit to the birth center, a meeting with a midwife who is familiar with the full story (including his prior traumatic birth experience), perhaps locate a local ICAN or AP group where there are other fathers who could meet with him on a more "manly" level (especially in terms of the prior birth trauma, it seems like BTDT support from other partners counts for a lot... our local ICAN group tries to arrange vbac classes just for the partners so they have a space to work out their own concerns/memories/fears)...
and good luck!