Do you PLAY? - Page 2

[mightymoo]

No, I would say I don't. I interact with them, I play games like chase and general silliness for a few minutes at a time, we cuddle frequently, etc. but mostly I do not "play". I never play pretend and I don't build things with them aside from helping with something if asked. Honestly, I just can't stand it, its excessively boring to me. My kids are just fine playing with each other or alone and don't need me to help them with that.

And I have read Cohen. It's all very nice in theory, but in practice I am an unhappy person trying to force myself unnaturally to try to play their games and it does not make for a better relationship between us. I am not neglecting my children as I give them plenty of my attention, just not in that way. In other aspects I'd probably fit into cohen's idea of a playful parent, but I just don't sit down and play dolls or build block cities.

[phathui5]

When I just had one and two kids, I did a lot of playing with them and including them in what I was doing. Now that I have four, plus the childcare kids and all the neighbors who hang out here, I don't really have to do it.

What I do enjoy is reading to them, cooking with them, going on field trips, etc. So those are the things that I do with them.

[sarajane]

When I only had one child, she was involved in everything I did for the most part.

Now it is more like I play with the baby a lot and he is pretty attached to me. My toddler plays in her room a lot and runs around the house pretending and such. I will stop to dance with her or when she brings me something, she will bring me her toy cups to pretend to drink tea and what not. I will sit down to teach her things like colors, shapes, counting, sorting etc. We go outside a lot. Though a lot of my day is spent cleaning, sewing, caring for the baby, cooking, etc, etc. DD2 isn't as involved in that like DD1 was but part of that is personality. DD1 just was really patient and good at "working" DD2 is big at playing and going "crazy" with having fun.

[UhOhWhatNow]

I love playing with my three month old, but I admit sometimes I just wish he could amuse himself a bit while I get stuff done!

[sanguine_speed]

I have one high needs 2-year-old and I dislike that he leaves so little time for me to play with my other kids, especially my 5-year-old who is home every day after 10:30am from school (and soon all day).
I do find it hard to play with them all day every day. It gets to the point where our home does not function. Breakfast is still all over the table and floor by lunchtime, and there is nowhere to prepare dinner because I haven't been able to tidy lunchboxes, or lunch dishes. The older 2 kids understand and can wait, but the toddler is soooooo high strung. He nearly constantly needs me, and is only not screaming or clinging to me if we are playing together with my full attention. We're having a hard day today. Thanks for letting me get that out. I'm on the computer because he's in the bathtub in front of me. We have a lot of baths so I can have ... nevermind..he's done .

[MoonWillow]

Moved to Parenting

[sweetjasmine]

I think it's sooo great when some mamas really get into playing with their child. I sometimes envy that free spiritedness (is this even a word?) but that is normally not me. I had one child and she was pretty good about playing by herself but sometimes she did want me to play with her. It would only take a few short minutes before I was ready to quit. Usually what I did was let her play near me while I cleaned or read or cooked. I'd take her to the park, read to her, talk to her, etc., but I was like some of the other mamas - just really not into pretend play. And up until a couple years ago my now 11 year old step dd wanted me to pretend play with her but it was excruciating to me! I forced myself for a few minutes but then would excuse myself.

Now sometimes my 4 year old grandson wants me to watch him play but I'll just glance over at him from time to time while I'm doing busy work or on my laptop. He used to want me to get down on the floor with him while he played with his trains and I tried a time or two but I just can't do that anymore. It's terribly boring and uninteresting to me but I don't mind watching him while I'm doing something else.

As a rule, IMO, I don't think it's necessarily the parents job to entertain their kids. Obviously, some parents love it and that's okay. But kids should be playing with other kids while the grownups do grownup stuff. I know that's not always ideal. We moved alot when I was a sahm with my young daughter so lots of times it was only her and me until she started school. You just do your best, try not to feel guilty and do whatever works for you and your children!

[Landover]

I do play with my son and daughter. I also really love Playful Parenting, and think this book really shaped the playing issue for me. I don't play all day or all of the time, but 1-3 times a day we have a play session where we only do what he wants (which is normally dress like some sort of superheros and save people from evil all over the house). We also read, etc, but I make sure to really play ninjas, etc with him sometimes too.

[Hoopin' Mama]

You sound like me. I found myself setting up things for my ds and then using that time to complete a chore. I think it's pretty understandable -- I mean, someone has to cook dinner or finish the laundry and there was no one else around to do it. I refuse to feel bad about it. It's not like I set him up with toys and then go take a bubble bath or something. I am usually completing something that needs to be done.

Ds is 4.5 now and I do puzzles, play boardgames, draw a little, paint a little, bake with him, take him swimming, bike riding, walking, read to him, tell knock-knock jokes, play I-spy, dance with him, "wrestle" with him, tickle him, and cuddle him.

I DO NOT do the following for more than about 7 minutes: play with hotwheels, play with legos, pretend to be a superhero, pretend to be a cat, pretend to be a dog, pretend to cook things, make jokes about butts and penises.

I've seen these threads before and I am absolutely confident in my style of parenting in this matter and don't feel it is a problem.

Dh, on the other hand, will get down on the floor and play for a whole afternoon. We are a good balance.

[One_Girl]

I have never set aside time for independent play, I believe that seperating from caretakers to play alone is something kids will do naturally when they are ready to do it and pushing them into that just seems to create more clingy behavior than it prevents. I have always found that if I play with dd and spend the time she needs me to spend interacting with her without trying to get away she transitions into independent play on her own and I can get away without any fuss or mess in order to do housework. I used to keep the tasks smaller and just do a little at a time but now I can just tell her I am going to go clean something and it isn't a problem. I have always tried to just follow her cues on play and have always been able to fit in housework, playing, and when she was younger napping as well.

[DaughterOfKali]

I do play but I try to get ds to play independently as well. I'm sure it's difficult for him being an only child but I can't be expected to play constantly. I have my own things that I need (or want) to do.

I prefer outdoor games and exploring as opposed to staying indoors and playing boring stuff.

[chanibell]

I try and play with my ds. My idea of "play" though is called "teacher time". This is where I teach him how to write letters on the chalkboard and them he teaches me how to write letters on the chalkboard.
We also play card games like "go fish" and there is a nice Maisy one he likes too. We play that a lot. We also play a game called Gobblet ( which is a lot of fun). Actually I would rather play than do the things I normally would do around the house ( like dusting!)

I do get to those things,but again...he loves to help me fold clothes and sweep,so it may be considered playing.....

The only thing I cannot really do is chase him around the playground to play tag..I would fall over dead

He goes to school 2 days a week so I can get the cleaning and errands done,but I think if he had a sibling,he would play more with that person.

When my nieces come to visit ( ages 8 and 10) they seem to all play together and I notice my ds ( age 4) wants nothing to do with me.

I know it can be tiring to be your child's only playmate.

[katiesk]

i don't always love playing either. however i do often play with dd, but when i do i try to be very present for play time. other times i'll have her play by herself and i'll do other things, but when i sit down to play with her, i pay attention to her, the game, whatever. often when i do chores, i try to engage her in that as well. she loves to drag the broom around, or mop up with me. it's easier to engage her than to feel pestered by her when she won't do her own thing. and it's more fun for both of us!

[inkslinger]

I do play with them, but they play with each other well, too. I also think it's important for them to learn to play independently!