4 y/o DS wants (NEEDS) to win

[ruthmg]

My 4 year old son needs to win at everything - "I'm the line leader[first in line]." "I beat you![when running somewhere]" "I win!" "I said it first!"

He says he wins or is first even when another child has clearly run faster. Is this normal? I like a healthy sense of competition, but he has to win at games, he changes rules so he wins, etc.

Any thoughts? Suggestions?

[birdie22]

This is absolutely typical 4 yo behavior. My ds is just coming out of this phase now.

We talked about how it hurts others' feelings when he brags about winning, or says they lose. The best remedy was a legalistic 5 yo friend who absolutely will not tolerate being told that he "lost" when he didn't. He told ds he didn't like it, and didn't want to keep playing with him if he kept doing it, so ds stopped. Hooray for natural consequences!

[Danielle283]

My 4.5 yo DD is doing this too all of a sudden. Every walk to a different room is a race that she always wins, every game we play she insists that she won, and she'll say things like "first person to put your hand up wins!". I feel silly trying to beat a 4 year old in games, but she's got to get used to losing once in a while!

[Surfacing]

Dd1 does this too for awhile now (she just turned 4). She'll do something clever and then say, "Mommy could you do that when you were a kid?" I ask her why she asks that and she says, "Because I want to be better at something than you." She also does lots of races to the door from the elevator and always has to win.

[ruthmg]

Thanks for reassuring me that this is "normal" behavior. Sometimes I worry.

[karemore]

Great to read that DD isn't the only one. EVERYTHING has to be a competition and SHE has to win. It drives me nuts. I've been hoping that it's just a phase.