older child sucking a pacifier

[janecluff]

My six year-old daughter is shy and bright. I think she is an introvert. She is very tactile and we cuddle her all the time! I nursed her until she was 18 months old. She still sucks a pacifier in bed and often during the day. She no longer uses it in public or around anyone who would disapprove. She fairly regularly refuses a social opportunity so she can suck it in private. I am worried that this is just not okay for her. I truly support attachment parenting, but is this going too far?

[Quirky]

I think no one has seen this thread.....this forum is for questions and suggestions about the board itself; you could post your thread in parenting issues or the childhood years and get some input! Or you can send a private message to a moderator and ask her to move it for you.

Hope you get some answers!

[Trishy]

I'm going to move this into the Childhood Years.

[LoveBeads]

Re: older child sucking a pacifier

Originally posted by janecluff
She fairly regularly refuses a social opportunity so she can suck it in private.

Yes, I think it is a problem just because of what you said.

How is her appetite? Is she a good eater?

The reason I ask this is because my nephew (7) still takes a pacifier. He also has a horrible aversion to food. For years, I tried to convince my SIL to have him tested for sensory integration dysfunction because I really felt that his aversion to food was way beyond typical toddler pickiness. It also didn't seem coincidental to me that he needed to fulfill his desire for oral stimulation in a different way.

She did have him tested and it turns out that he does have SID. But it wasn't me who convinced her - her son was beginning to have terrible anxiety about going to friend's houses because the moms would serve a snack that he knew he couldn't eat. He was afraid that he was going to be outcasted so he came to her and told her that he wanted to find out if anything was wrong with him. He was also beginning to have terrible anxiety about traveling because he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to eat anything in a different environment.

I think if your daughter is beginning to withdraw from friends to feed this habit, it is a problem. I would talk to my pediatrician and see if he/she has any suggestions.

Good luck. I'm sure it's nothing horribly serious, just sounds like it should be delved into further if she is being negatively affected.

[TracyMom2Three]

My dd is 4 and she still uses her pacifier. However, just yesterday I started limiting it since she will be starting school in the fall. Plus, I've been getting very tired of seeing it in her mouth 24 hours a day, lol!

My dd eats really well.. she weighs 46 lbs and she's healthy as a horse. For her.. it has just become a habit and honestly.. I reallly don't mind her having a security item but I feel it's time to put some limits on it.

What I've done is I made a chart for the week and I give her a heads up that I will be taking the binky in 15 minutes. (That way she's prepared) and then I put it where she doesn't see it..outta sight outta mind so to speak). My plan was to take it for an hour and give it back for a half hour and so on but I've found once I take it she doesn't think about it!

I've told her that when she gets 3 X'S a day for 5 days she can get a new "My Little Pony". That is definitely helping her to be excited, lol!

Anyhow.. I hope this helps.

[MamaBug]

I have to agree with Lovebeads that from what you are saying she is withdrawing socially and that is a problem. While you might want to have the tests done that lovebeads suggested you can also start weaning her off the binky. Maybe start with only letting her have it at bedtime. The after that make it every other day and so on, kwim?

Both my children had binky's and I think my oldest would still have it if I let him, we stopped at 3 because of dental issues for both of them.

Have patience and I hope that it turns out she is ok, that she just likes it for comfort. I mean alot of kids suck their fingers for YEARS but you can't take that away, which to me is the beauty of the binky, you can. Good luck

[bookwormmama]

Hi,

I just wanted to say that my dd used a pacifier until she was about 6. I don't really remember if she gave it up before then. It was a big issue with us for a time, and then i decided to just relax about it. I figured she'd give it up when she was ready. I myself sucked my thumb until i was 10, and then just stopped! I weaned her at what i now consider an early age, 12 months, and thought that maybe that was why she used a sucky for so long. : We did limit it to bedtime and car rides when she'd get carsick. It got to the point where she was kind of embarrassed about it, but not enough to give it up. I'd say try to limit it to bedtime, but as long as there are no major issues other than that, let it go. What we did was finally stop buying new ones. When the last ones got holes in them (!) we just said goodbye to it, and that was that. Not really too traumatic.

Oh and my dd was, and still is, very tactile as well, a big cuddler, just like i was. i say if it seems to be a need, just because it bothers us is no reason to deny it to her!

to you both!

[ekblad9]

My ds2 still uses his "paci" and he's almost 6. He mostly just sleeps with it but we homeschool so he'll have it during the day sometimes as well. He doesn't withdraw from social situations to do it but does ask when people are leaving if it's late and he's tired. On New Year's Eve he went to bed in my room and made me lock the door so no one would come in (we were having a party). My 7 year old still sucks her thumb and isn't the least bit embaressed about it.

[joyfulheart]

What about letting your daughter suck on something else? The sucking is probably very comforting and centering for her. What about one of those cups with a lid and a large straw thats attached or something similar. Maybe just a water bootle with a spout will help??

You also say that she is very tactile. Cuddling probably centers her too. I wonder if there are other physical activities that could center her, calm her more so that maybe she will feel less of a need to suck the pacifier? What about bringing a water bottle to a safe play date that she can suck on?

Good luck...

You may also want to consider talking to an occupational therapist. He or she may have some helpful insights of activities to help you help her.

Joyful