Parents of one circ'd, one intact

[syn_ack89]

Are there any parents here who have one (or more) circ'd boys followed by intact boys?

Can you share your experiences?

[benj]

i'm sure there are plenty.

both of my boys are intact. however, my older brother was circed while me and my younger brothers were left intact.

[JBaxter]

3 circ'd one intact. Had I known what I do now I would have 4 intact but sadly I lived in a mainstream world that just did things. THANKFULLY all my boys have very loose circs ( cover a large part of the glands). I just didnt know and no one volunteered any info

[syn_ack89]

Originally Posted by benj

i'm sure there are plenty.

both of my boys are intact. however, my older brother was circed while me and my younger brothers were left intact.

Was there any problems between you and your older brother because of it? Or was it a total non-issue?

[Fellow Traveler]

There are several parent here in that boat. Keep checkng for a more detailed reply but the quick answer is that it was never a problem.

[benj]

Originally Posted by syn_ack89

Was there any problems between you and your older brother because of it? Or was it a total non-issue?

my older brother actually died when i was 7, he was 16. i did not even know that he was circumcised until much later (my mother told me what she did when my girlfriend was pregnant with our first son.) i don't know if it would have caused much of an issue because of the age difference.

[trmpetplaya]

A friend of mine has four circumcised boys and one intact boy - any future sons will also be left intact. Her four circumcised boys are a quite few years older than their brother and helped by changing diapers and with toilet training and none of them have ever said anything about the difference.

As far as boys closer in age go... my dh is intact and his best friend (and next-door neighbor) growing up was circumcised and there were never any issues. They went swimming together and had sleepovers and such as well and it was a total non-issue. They were just like brothers since dh is an only and his friend only has a much younger brother (who might actually be intact, now that I come to think about it... dh's friend wasn't circumcised at birth - I think he was 2 years old or so).

I also know at least two families with one or more circumcised boys who will leave any future boys intact if they have any more. It's really not an issue as long as both boys are encouraged to feel positively about their bodies. Whenever they ask or right before they hit puberty it'd probably be good to discuss how sometimes medical procedures that were previously thought to be beneficial actually turn out to be not beneficial so that both boys know that circumcision is not necessary for their sons and also so they understand why one is circumcised and the other is not.

I think siblings not "matching" with regards to their circumcision status would only be an issue if one or the other was perceived as being "defective" so I would either stay away from or be extremely careful when discussing the more gnarly details about circumcision. The odds are good that the circumcised sons will have happy and fulfilling lives, but that's not a good reason to chance an unnecessary surgery with any future sons.

[fruitful womb]

Oldest is circ'd the younger two boys are intact. If anyone hurt his little brothers he would be sooo upset. Children aren't culturally conditioned, yet. They would see this as violent. A raw wound on a penis??? Any child would be horrified!

Ds1 is very protective of this brothers. He told a babysitter, "Don't retract him!". She wasn't going to as I've informed her on intact care, but she was suprised how protective he was while she was changing his diaper.

Its a non-issue between them. He is very affectionate towards his siblings. I'm certain he is upset about what happened to him (doesn't focus on it ofcourse; he is a busy normal energetic kid) but he would even be more upset if it happened to his brothers too.

:

[benj]

i chose to get circumcised recently. when i told my brother who is closest in age to me (i am 22, he is almost 19), he basically just said he would never get it done. and that was the end of the conversation. it really wasn't a big deal. i don't think we need to "look the same" and i definitely don't think that it is the right decision for everybody.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by benj

i chose to get circumcised recently. when i told my brother who is closest in age to me (i am 22, he is almost 19), he basically just said he would never get it done. and that was the end of the conversation. it really wasn't a big deal. i don't think we need to "look the same" and i definitely don't think that it is the right decision for everybody.

How was it? Your recovery? Why did you choose to get circ'd? Hope you don't mind me asking these personal questions.

Its your body. No one here will ever fault you for choosing to get circ'd.

ETA: thank you for leaving that choice to your ds's too.

[benj]

Originally Posted by fruitful womb

How was it? Your recovery? Why did you choose to get circ'd? Hope you don't mind me asking these personal questions.

Its your body. No one here will ever fault you for choosing to get circ'd.

ETA: thank you for leaving that choice to your ds's too.

i was having a series of problems that i could not find a solution for. a lot of the pro-circ people justify circumcision by saying that it is difficult and more painful to get circumcised as an adult. that's not true. it was done under local anesthetic, in less than an hour and i went to work the next day. it takes around six weeks to heal completely. it was a little painful during recovery, but it was not the excruciating pain that people imagine. it was more of a generalized soreness around the incision. i don't think it was much different than getting stitches for any other injury...as long as you don't touch it, it doesn't hurt. the only downside is that restrict sexual activity for at least six weeks, which is actually easier to handle than i thought it would be. i think it's better to get it done as an adult because of the consent thing, and that there are less mistakes.

and yes, my sons are intact. there is no reason to circumcise infants.

[PinkinPA]

I have 1 who is and 2 that aren't. What would you like to know? I'll answer what I am able to :0)

[Peppermint]

I have one circ.ed and 2 (soon to be 3!) intact. So far none of them have noticed any difference in that regard, they have very different bodies in every way, so- I don't think there is much focus on that aspect. Someday I will have to tell them, as a PP said about "unnecessary medical procedures" and how when parents know better, they do better.

It is just like how I failed at nursing my first child, but- the others have all been nursed a good long time, I worked hard to change and do things better, I don't believe any of my kids will fault me for that.

FWIW- my DSs are now 7.5, 5, and 2.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by benj

i was having a series of problems that i could not find a solution for. a lot of the pro-circ people justify circumcision by saying that it is difficult and more painful to get circumcised as an adult. that's not true. it was done under local anesthetic, in less than an hour and i went to work the next day. it takes around six weeks to heal completely. it was a little painful during recovery, but it was not the excruciating pain that people imagine. it was more of a generalized soreness around the incision. i don't think it was much different than getting stitches for any other injury...as long as you don't touch it, it doesn't hurt. the only downside is that restrict sexual activity for at least six weeks, which is actually easier to handle than i thought it would be. i think it's better to get it done as an adult because of the consent thing, and that there are less mistakes.

and yes, my sons are intact. there is no reason to circumcise infants.

Thank you for sharing your story. I think the other major difference is, you were not deficating on an open wound like an infant is after a circ. Imagine how much more painful that'd be.

Glad your recovery went better than expected.

[benj]

Originally Posted by fruitful womb

Thank you for sharing your story. I think the other major difference is, you were not deficating on an open wound like an infant is after a circ. Imagine how much more painful that'd be.

Glad your recovery went better than expected.

yes, the infant would probably be feeling a more significant amount of pain than i ever did. that was one of the things, i never understood about infant circumcision. i thought that if parents were allowing that to happen, there had to be a good reason...but i was completely wrong about that. and it really wasn't that bad, honestly.

oh, and to stay on the topic: i think that's great that parents that were misinformed before changed their thinking and got the right information. it is definitely sad that they learned at their older sons' expense, but they learned, admitted they were wrong, and changed. that's awesome for any subject, and any person to acknowledge their faults and take responsibility. i hope you instill that trait in your children.

[syn_ack89]

Originally Posted by benj

i was having a series of problems that i could not find a solution for. a lot of the pro-circ people justify circumcision by saying that it is difficult and more painful to get circumcised as an adult. that's not true. it was done under local anesthetic, in less than an hour and i went to work the next day. it takes around six weeks to heal completely. it was a little painful during recovery, but it was not the excruciating pain that people imagine. it was more of a generalized soreness around the incision. i don't think it was much different than getting stitches for any other injury...as long as you don't touch it, it doesn't hurt. the only downside is that restrict sexual activity for at least six weeks, which is actually easier to handle than i thought it would be. i think it's better to get it done as an adult because of the consent thing, and that there are less mistakes.

and yes, my sons are intact. there is no reason to circumcise infants.

This post was very helpful. Thank you!

[benj]

Originally Posted by syn_ack89

This post was very helpful. Thank you!

ah, you're welcome. just with every other pro-circ argument, the "it's much easier to do it as an infant" one also has no merit (and i'm a BABY when it comes to pain )

[Fyrestorm]

Originally Posted by benj

yes, the infant would probably be feeling a more significant amount of pain than i ever did. that was one of the things, i never understood about infant circumcision. i thought that if parents were allowing that to happen, there had to be a good reason...but i was completely wrong about that. and it really wasn't that bad, honestly.

and...as an adult, they didn't need to rip the foreskin from the glands and leave a bloody mess in their wake. They just cut around the already retractable foreskin, leaving you with just an incision circumferentially rather than raw skinned glands...I'm sure it's much worse for infants even before they put the open wound in a diaper to have urine and feces get all over it...can you imagine how much urine would sting?

[benj]

Originally Posted by Fyrestorm

and...as an adult, they didn't need to rip the foreskin from the glands and leave a bloody mess in their wake. They just cut around the already retractable foreskin, leaving you with just an incision circumferentially rather than raw skinned glands...I'm sure it's much worse for infants even before they put the open wound in a diaper to have urine and feces get all over it...can you imagine how much urine would sting?

gah, that's horrible. yes, i've also heard that they need to prevent the open wound from "sticking" to the diaper...i'd imagine pulling the diaper away from the wound is painful as well. also, i had sutures, which infants do not so the wound was closed more effectively.

[boysmom2]

: We just had our 3rd boy. Our first 2 were unfortunately circed, but our 3rd was not. The older 2 haven't mentioned it if they've noticed that the baby looks different. My DH is really worried that this will be a serious problem. I'm interested to hear other's experiences with this.