Lending Someone Books that are NOT Ezzo

[jempd]

I know, I know, here we go with another Ezzo thread, I too feel as though it's been done to death. However, I am so tempted to talk about what just happened to me: I belong to a classifieds ads list for parents based where I live and 90 % of it is people selling their pack n plays or giving away their maternity clothes or whatever. So I see an email that says ISO Ezzo On Being Babywise, so I think Woah, that's weird (in this community, it's not what you would expect, although not explicitly AP) so I open it and it is a first-time mother of a 5-week-old at wits' end looking for a book to help her. Although I know it is a classifieds list only and not for discussion I couldn't help myself and emailed back, asking politely if she'd researched Ezzo and realized that it is considered overly harsh by most organizations, professionals, etc., keeping it as neutral as possible. I then offered to lend her some baby books of mine that are not Sears, not overtly AP, such as Leach, The Happiest Baby on the Block, so on. Then I hit 'send' and realized that I would probably get emails telling me to butt out, mind my own business, etc. But I got an email from the woman thanking me and saying that she did do a little research and found out that Ezzo does sound way too harsh for her, and though she also didn't want to follow Sears, she would like very much to borrow the books. So I put them aside and she's coming over to get them. I know, it isn't exactly as though I single-handedly turned someone from Ezzo to AP, but I'm not on a mission and I'm glad she read up about it before she bought a copy of Babywise. No one replied to her saying that they had a copy she could have. No one else told her Ezzo was Unwise either but anyway I thought that it had a good outcome. For her little baby especially.

[KYCat]

Kudos!
At 5-7 weeks if you haven't already committed to a certain path, I think that many mamas would try anything. I think of it as when the baby wakes up and the new mommy adrenaline wears off. For me, it took just holding on. By 9 weeks each baby and I just understood each other better and it made all the difference.
Hopefully your new friend will get there soon.

[St. Margaret]

That is great! I'm glad it worked out. For future reference, too, the No-Cry Sleep Solution is a good substitute for Babywise, I find-- it's full of tips for helping to shape sleep patterns, which I think some types of parents gobble up, but under it all, she's pushing a message of being patient and doing what works for you and your baby together. So if someone is turned off by the name Dr. Sears, Pantley's a little more palatable.

But that is GREAT that you possibly saved that baby from some severe lonely crying!

[jempd]

Thanks for the pats on the back! I have the Pantley book too but I'm keeping it for myself for reference. I agree with what you both said, as I remember when I had my first baby I was completely clueless, and a relative gave me a copy of the Baby Whisperer and I read some of it and was all "I'm making a mess of this, I'm doing everything wrong, I'm way too disorganized to remember to do the sleep-play-eat thing (or whatever it is)" and felt so undermined and my confidence was so low, when I had a conversation with my sister that led me to give away the book. This was way before I discovered Mothering or Sears or anything like it. So with a newborn some people are really vulnerable, I think, and that's what Ezzo and his ilk take advantage of.