Help me not to yell

[Stephenie]

DS is 25.5 months old. We've had a crazy six months or so and I know it's contributing to why he's acting out. We've moved four times since Oct and are moving again tomorrow. We had a new baby the last week of March. He's been through a LOT and I know it is all very hard on him.

But he is acting out in ways I just can't handle well. The worst two things would be that he is hitting, biting, pinching, scratching and generally being violent with everyone, but especially his little sister and me. I have tried telling him it hurts us, it makes us sad, it isn't nice etc. That does not work. Nothing works at all and after the tenth scratch in as many minutes, I end up yelling at him, which is not really effective anyway.

The other thing he does where I end up yelling most often is climbing into dangerous places. It mostly comes from fear. The hard part there, is it often works, he will listen to that for some reason. He gets back up there ten minutes later, but he gets down when I yell at him to do so.

We're also going through a "mine" stage, which makes so much sense for a little guy who is two and has been through so much, but some objects are not safe and I can't just let them go. Trying to offer something else does not work. I end up having force it out of his hands and then he screams for several minutes.

Any advice here? I know I should not yell at him. I feel awful for it. I need some better ways of dealing with this behavior.

Thanks

[MammaV]

I think we all struggle with this! I've found that extra physical attention and laying on the positive words goes miles with the acting out LO. I was really struggling with this with my 4 yo just this spring and it's amazing how much extra snuggles, hugs and words of praise go with my boy. I also had to make a decision to not yell, but to whisper every time I felt like yelling.
It's definitely hard when we're stressed out and your life has been stressful of late. You LO also feels all the stress but lacks the skills to express it. The aggressive behavior can be just that - expressions of stress. Next time he starts in, go for the cuddle...

[mamamarley]

I've been struggling with this a lot lately with my 2-y-o... we've been doing some silly things to help. We wave our arms in the air and jump around and yell when we're mad, and we also do deeeeeep breaths together. Seems to help, if through nothing else but distracting both of us.

Looking forward to : here!

[Stephenie]

Thanks for all the ideas. I think that the arm waving etc may work well for him- and I know for sure some more cuddle time would be good for him.