Thank you. I do feel welcomed here by several, yours is especially nice.
it might be said that IN OUR CULTURE men tend to be adamant about harming their sons because of their own bloody initiation into our culture. It really changes who they are as human beings, and in this case it could be said that their female partners (not having been mutilated themselves and therefore able to be more rational about it) really can have quite a role in helping the man to heal.
Absolutely. Your paragraph above is quite correct to my mind. I think the trauma of circumcision is primarily stored in the preverbal limbic reptilian part of the brain. "Talking" to this part of the brain just doesn't happen readily if at all. It is a fight or flight subunit. Repeating circumcision on one's children makes it "OK" and "normal" for this violence to have been done to the father, as a child. Abuse perpetuates itself not logically, but in some physiologically based way. It only stops when the adult's cortex says strongly enough "It has to stop with me. The BS stops here."
Some men can get there on their own, but having a woman say assuredly, "There is no way, Ain't gonna happen"
can matter a lot. Some say it fiercely, some say it quietly "from their core." That means, that man has to deal with the violence of circumcision that he went through, -without harming his children.
You say all this and more, beautifully above.
One's relation to ones children is unique. A spouse can be "replaced" in a way that a child cannot. I would leave a spouse who'd insist on harming my child with cutting, if I were the mother and the roles were reversed.
I was lucky, I just thought it was barbaric, but even if I had a partial or fully intersex child, I was totally against genital "assignment" surgery.
-That makes the parents feel better and their life easier. It sucks for the child, and the adult they will become.
We don't get to have ideal or "perfect" children. There are no guarantees, accepting that, I think, is part of the deal. Risks with responsibilities.what about women who are just as pro-circ as the men??? I don't mean women who are unaware of the harm involved and just let the man choose because they didn't know any better. I'm talking about women who have read the articles, seen the videos, been exposed to people who can explain the horrors and the human rights aspect, and STILL choose to side with their husband in insisting that circumcision is right, good, and best for their son. How can any healing for the man or the boy ever take place in THAT situation??
Well then it gets very personal and graphic, alas. There is no way around it.
It would be the same if we insisted on FGM to make women attractive, or removed their labia, or tightened their vaginas routinely to make them "better sexual partners." Keep pointing out that they have no rational
reason to harm their child, and strip them of their sexuality. They have the issue,
not the child. The are making a SEXUAL decision for someone, -who won't be having sex for decades.
They also are are unable to see men as they F*&#ing are, -and as they were made
for F*#&ing. They have lost out too, and big
time in having circumsized partners. Do some research, watch an adult videos, ask a European or Russian or Chinese neighbor.
OR tell them they should just, "Put your head in the sand, and cut it off! -So you'll feel better." It's not about the baby, that is for sure!
10 out of 10 babies oppose circumcision!