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"But you're going to be a SAHM..." and other comments

post #1 of 34
Thread Starter 
When I tell people that DH and I are NOT getting cable or paying for a converter box I've had a lot of the "usual" comments. (Basically the "but the TV is a great babysitter" mentality) This one, however, was new to me... and aunt came over to see the new baby and when I mentioned our no TV plans she said, "But what will you do all day? You're going to stay home aren't you? You'll want it for you." I was at a loss for what to say. Has anyone else run across this?

What is the weirdest response you've heard when you've mentioned your TV Free lifestyle
post #2 of 34
Weird. I'm a SAHM and I can't stand watching TV. It seems like maybe she's forgotten about books, and movies, and parks, and playdates with other new mamas, and Mommy & Me fitness classes, and the library, and...

The weirdest comment I got was, "Well, aren't you just better than everyone."

This was at a dinner party, after someone politely asked me what my favorite show was and I said I didn't have a favorite show but DH and I sometimes watch episodes of "The Office" when we remember, and then that person asked what, you don't watch TV? I said, no, not really (not even mentioning that we don't even own a TV) and this third person who'd been listening growled the question in this super angry tone. It was so strange...like our not watching television was somehow all about her? I don't know. Talk about a chip on the shoulder. I just smiled and said, "No, not at all, but it's kind of you to say so!" She was not amused.
post #3 of 34
I've gotten some odd comments too. The one that sticks in my mind the most is "wow, you must know your husband really well." That always cracks me up.

Some people truly watch so much TV that they just can't fathom life without it. Just like I can't fathom life with it

Really, there is no answer to these types of comments.
post #4 of 34
Even if I did have a tv and my kids watched the usual Sesame Street fare, I can't imagine ever having the tv on during the day for me--a daily diet of the View and Oprah would send me into a tailspin of depression and despair. Maybe tv is why some SAHMs aren't happy.....
post #5 of 34
I'm a SAHM, too, and I can't stand having a TV around. I actually can't imagine having a TV on "for me" - what, so I can ignore my kids for a talk show? What does that even mean?

We do all kinds of fun stuff all day, and my kids don't feel deprived at all.

However, my mother in law feels differently - whenever we visit them, they let my 3 yr old watch an hour or two of tv while my husband and I are away from the house. She has once got us a tv at a garage sale, saying we'd like to have it. We put it on a shelf in the basement and finally freecycled it (after wiping off the inch of accumulated dust) during a decluttering frenzy. They (my in laws) are definitely tv-addicts, and are convinced our children are going to grow up deprived.
post #6 of 34
The weirdest comments are always along the line of "but what do you do?".
And "the kids don't feel outside for not being able to watch tv?".
Yeah well, ignorance is bliss.

I just discovered this forum and I'm so glad to see we're not the only ones who don't have a TV.
post #7 of 34
I don't talk about it a lot. People do get strange about it.
My mother is still disturbed by no TV reception. She "wouldn't be able to stand it"- like we are cut off from civilization and just staring at the wall.
The fact that we get 5 dvd's at a time from Netflix for our family doesn't count or if we watch something online it doesn't count.
post #8 of 34
Alot of people (especially the teenagers my dh teaches) say,"But what doyour kids do?" Uh...PLAY!!!
post #9 of 34
We have a television for videos in the kids room, but it is not hooked up to receive any channels. About half the time though, they just use the dvd player and speakers to listen to audio books. Dh & I will watch movies on the computer or sometimes some episodes of shows we like online.

I don't guess I've gotten any weird comments, but my husband has had disagreements with a family member over what our kids are watching over there and I really don't get it. WHY??? do kids need to indiscriminately watch TV?
post #10 of 34
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post
I don't talk about it a lot. People do get strange about it.
I've found that people get more weird about not having TV than other "crunchy" parenting choices (CDs, BFing, etc...)
post #11 of 34
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
I've found that people get more weird about not having TV than other "crunchy" parenting choices (CDs, BFing, etc...)
I think that says a lot about their priorities, really. I used to watch a lot of tv, and I never thought tv-free was weird. DH was a bachelor when I first met him, and he had his tv in a closet, in case he wanted to pull it out to watch a movie...
post #12 of 34
Alot of people (especially the teenagers my dh teaches) say,"But what doyour kids do?" Uh...PLAY!!!
I had a really nice "feel good" moment yesterday with my DS (2yo). I'm 38 weeks preg. so I do a lot of sitting on the couch lately And I'll admit sometimes I've thought about how tempting it would be to just turn a TV on for him (if we had one)... but yesterday I told him I just wanted to lay on the couch and rest for a little while. So he played next to me, with a truck and used food from his kitchen and blocks and playsilks and dreamed up this whole little adventure for his truck. He would use it to haul me things to eat and he played happily for quite some time... I kind of had a light bulb moment that it was really wonderful that he is learning how to just "play", and this is totally normal for him, as opposed to sitting in front of a screen. Watching him, I was just in awe of how his imagination is growing and how he found it so easy to pretend a wooden carrot was a mud puddle and a block was a truck driver... It was just great
post #13 of 34
post #14 of 34
I really love TV- and that's one reason why I don't have one. lol. Seriously, I once stayed at work until well past midnight watching a Law and Order marathon. Dh was very worried!

It's a choice I've made and I am happy with. I have gotten similar snotty snide little comments once from someone who asked what I watched on Thursday nights. I told her (politely) that I don't have a TV and she said, "Well, I have to have one I have a child." If she wouldn't have said it in a really rude manner I probably wouldn't have taken so much pleasure in saying, "Actually I have two children."
post #15 of 34
post #16 of 34
Hahah! We have an old free TV we use with a converter box. Before that TV, we had none and we wondered how we got anything done with it.
post #17 of 34
Love that essay zine-mama. So true.

I wish I could find a you tube clip I saw 100 years ago that had me cracking up. It was a spoof on a guy who didn't have a tv, and it was all he could talk about. He'd meet people and say, "Hi, blah, blah, blah" then steer the conversation in such a way that he'd have a miniscule window into which he could inject into the conversation, "I don't have a tv." IT as set to music and was so silly and funny.

Much better to keep that info to yourself. It makes people feel indicted otherwise.
post #18 of 34
I haven't had regular tv for more than 2 years now. We do have a tv and an xbox, but we only use it for gaming/movies on our date nights.

I don't understand why I would need to watch tv during the day??? And what would I watch? And who would watch my kid?!
post #19 of 34
My SIL always cracks me up. She and her family are TV junkies. She knows that we don't watch (have a TV with a converter box in our guest room - when there is a weather emergency or special event (the inauguration) we turn it on. But she knows that we don't watch on a regular basis. Almost every time we see her she eventually finds a way to steer the conversation around to this commercial or that commercial. She wants to talk about how funny they are, but she always starts off by saying, "you know that commercial where..." I ALWAYS reply, "No, we don't watch TV." Then she invariably goes on to describe the entire thing in detail, as if trying to remind me. After receiving blank looks for the duration of her explanation, she frequently switches to a different commercial and starts the process over. She's sure I'm going to "remember" eventually!

We initially chose not to have TV in our lives because of the research regarding brain development in children. And I can definitely see a difference between DS's play skills and imagination when we are with other children. However, I am also 100% convinced that I am a better parent by virtue of not having that distraction. It would just be too easy to ignore my DS or tune out his needs, and for what?? I never want to send the message that something that trivial is more important to me than him. And I agree with the PP - a day full of daytime talk shows and soap operas would have me jumping off a cliff!
post #20 of 34
Originally Posted by suziek View Post
Love that essay zine-mama. So true.
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it (and didn't mind the little snark on Mothering...)
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