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[Cascadian]

Never mind.

[Double Dip]

Wow- there is so much going on & seems really complex.

Will this neighbor girl be in the same school or class as either of your dd? This might influence how you proceed.

My girls are 4 and in general with any situation I am nearby, listening and supervising and react similarly as you describes- saying rules such as we put toys away or we use kind words in our family, etc

We have a neighbor with children who my girls like to play with (the neighbors' kids are 2, 5 & 8). They are nice people but just have different interests/values that make me feel like limiting their play. We only play outside. This helps as I would not feel comfortable my girls being there w/o me nor her children in my house w/o one of the parents there since my girls just aren't exposed to the same things these children are. So outside they'll play scooters, bikes, chalk, catch...sometimes I'll initiate a game or I'll even set up a table outside and bring our hungry hippos, memory match, BINGO or some puzzles.

I think the positive encouragement you are giving dd is wonderful and you are giving her tools to work through another occurence if it happens again. I would probably not allow any playdates in the house and supervise outside play. I would keep my child inside or take her somewhere else to enjoy an outing. I would no longer allow any playtime with the nieghbor inside and no longer allow any playtime not supervised by me.
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saw the OP was deleted- please let me know if you want me to delete my reply...I understand if you do since you removed the thread.