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is it ever ok for toddler to be nude in public? - Page 7

post #121 of 153
I live at the beach- in the USA- in the South. Typically with kids under three (both of mine included) when the bathing suit gets wet it comes off. I have never considered it would be controversial to let a toddler be naked on the beach. It's actually rare to find one that manages to stay fully covered the whole time!
post #122 of 153
I wouldn't think much of it at all.....

But, the whole "What if he pees on something" thing would really bug me. I do have huge phobias about being anywhere near urine. (I avoid public pools)
post #123 of 153
Nakie kids are never a big deal to me. It's normal, you know? Like one of the first posters pointed out, pervs are going to be pervs no matter if your child is wearing clothes or not. Kids are innocent, and completely non-sexual. Therefore, I have no issues with them being naked and enjoying the summer weather in public.
post #124 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
I disagree. I agree that nudity can be seen as sexual and not sexual. And certainly a child on a beach running naked is not being sexual BUT to a sexual predator they are. So that's the thought in my mind.
If there's a sexual predator (pedophile variety) on the beach, they're more than likely getting off on watching your kid, whether your kid is naked or not. That's reality. Wearing a swimsuit doesn't protect them from a pervert's imagination, any more than a woman wearing a swimsuit protects her from males noticing her body. Since I can't get into the head of a pedophile, I don't know for sure, but I have come across things that make me suspect that a childish swimsuit is actually more of a turn on for these people, as it emphasizes their pre-pubesence status. We cannot protect our children from being used to fuel the fantasies of perverts, except by keeping them in the house 24/7. It simply can't be done. A scrap of clothing certainly isn't sufficient.

Quote:
And I do see nakedness as more sexy depending on how it is delivered to the person seeing it and depending on the behavior of the person who is seeing it. If a perve looks at a naked girl posing sexy in Playboy then uhhh..yeah, it's safe to assume he's not just looking at it for no reason other than to get off. Why would someone buy the magazine in the first place if they weren't intending on looking at it for that reason?
Of course they're buying it to look at the girls. However, you'll also note that girls in Playboy aren't innocently running down the beach or building a sand castle. That's the thing. Nudity, by itself, isn't really that titillating for many (most?) people. If it were, the poses in Playboy wouldn't be necessary, yk? It's not a magazine full of naked people going about their day...it's a magazine full of naked people, with unusually "good" bodies (by our cultural standards, anyway), airbrushed to "perfection", and striking very provocative poses. Playbody isn't about nudity - it's about sex.
post #125 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cekimon View Post
Not a big deal or NO WAY... there are perverts out there and everyone on the planet has a cel phone with a camera!!
Not a big deal.

Crimes against children have declined over 70% in the past decade, I don't worry at all about it. Besides that, it will be Uncle Bob that does any molesting, not a stranger. Statistically speaking of course. Of course, an airplane could crash into my house tomorrow, but I can't stand there looking up waiting for it all day!
post #126 of 153
QUOTE=jeminijad;13900529]I respectfully disagree that they are "very rare." Every time I hear the stats on the frequency of little girls being sexually abused, I'm blown away by how often it happens.

My DD (and future children) will not be nude in 'public.' We'll teach them not to be ashamed of their bodies, but to recognize that not everyone has the right to see their private areas... JMO based on my own negative experiences as a child.[/QUOTE]:

This is what we do with our boys. Another question is what about sun protection? Even with sunscreen on I always make my boys wear longer swim trunks and a swim shirt w/hat to protect their skin. I would be more worried about sun damage than say a pervert. DH was a "sun worshipper" when he was a child and often when sans clothes. He has had some very painful mole removals as a result of that exposure. I dont want my boys going thru that if I can reduce the damage done by the sun.
post #127 of 153
[QUOTE=mommy68;14213140].but there are a lot of moments that I treasure with my children. This just isn't one of them. I too treasure the moments when they are not shy about their bodies to a certain extent, but I also treasure the cute things they say and do and how they won't talk cute anymore as they get older, stuff like that, milestone stuff.

Of course, children give us so much to treasure. They are our treasures. When I say that I treasure my child being comfortable being naked - this does not mean I feel comfortable with it. As a matter of fact it is often the things he does that make me feel very uncomfortable that I most delight in.

Example: He once saw a little girl selling lemonade at a stand outside of her house. Since then he has sold various things outside our house, leaves, clover, taped paper things, clay balls (earth), etc. Each time, I have cringed. I am so not comfortable with him doing this. What will the neighbours think? Selling leaves - oh my God! These things tear me up inside. But he is determined. He wants to do it and he sets up a little chair and table outside and sells them. And when people stop, including cars, and people get out and buy from him - I feel like dying from embarrassment inside. But there is another part of me that is delighting in that he feel strong enough to do what he feels called to do.

When I see him naked, joyfully playing in his wading pool, or with a humongous smile from ear to ear as he bikes around our drive way - part of me feels uncomfortable; as this is something I could never imagine myself doing. I am sure that my parents would never have allowed it.


But teaching them to be appropriately dressed when company comes over or when outdoors in front of our neighbors would be of utmost importance to me, especially if they are already school-aged and are old enough to know better.

Yes, I know all about what should be expected. I worry so much about what others think, etc. But when I see his smile from ear to ear - suddenly for me, the shoulds and my fears get moved to the background and I just want to drink in the moment. He moves me out of my comfort zone into some very uncomfortable moments; which I believe are growth moments for me and very authentic moments for him. I think children are our greatest teachers.
post #128 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
The perverts will still be perverts if the boy had had clothes on. It's up to the parents and the toddler to decide if he wears clothes and no one else. I say no big deal.
Totally agree. I think small children being nude at a beach is fine. If I was the boy's mother, I probably would have guided him away from the ceremony, because it's a little odd to me that they walked right through it when they could have avoided it, but I probably would have whether the boy was naked or not.
post #129 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeminijad View Post
I respectfully disagree that they are "very rare." Every time I hear the stats on the frequency of little girls being sexually abused, I'm blown away by how often it happens.

My DD (and future children) will not be nude in 'public.' We'll teach them not to be ashamed of their bodies, but to recognize that not everyone has the right to see their private areas... JMO based on my own negative experiences as a child.
I very much agree with this poster. It is not shame it is about appropriatness. In our society it is simply not appropriate to be nude in public. You private places are private. I am also aware of predators. They are actually quite common and likely in the places where your children are. I don't want my child to be the meat in front of the rabid dog. He will wear a bathing suit, that is what they are for.
post #130 of 153
I'm from Norway, and DH is American. When we're in Norway, our kids can run around naked to their hearts content. (DS1 is just two now, but can keep doing so for a few years at least.) At the beach they're always naked, but so are practically all the other little kids. In the US we've always kept some clothes on just because people aren't as used to it and I'm worried about them overhearing some kind of remark or drawing attention from perverts...simply because it's not the norm. I wish we could let them do the same in the States, but we haven't so far because of the above reasons. I'm reading this thread with interest, though.
post #131 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennpn View Post
I very much agree with this poster. It is not shame it is about appropriatness. In our society it is simply not appropriate to be nude in public. You private places are private. I am also aware of predators. They are actually quite common and likely in the places where your children are. I don't want my child to be the meat in front of the rabid dog. He will wear a bathing suit, that is what they are for.
hmm...I'd say it varies a lot. It's not inappropriate for a small child to be naked on a beach here. I've never seen anybody even comment on it.

As for your child being "meat in front of the rabid dog"...I'm sorry, but a swimsuit isn't going to change that. Pedophiles don't stop having sexual thoughts about children, just because those children have clothes on. It turns my stomach to think about it, but my disgust doesn't change it.
post #132 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
hmm...I'd say it varies a lot. It's not inappropriate for a small child to be naked on a beach here. I've never seen anybody even comment on it.
Especially if it's Wreck beach.

(Couldn't help it!)
post #133 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Especially if it's Wreck beach.

(Couldn't help it!)
Never actually been there, but I'm not sure it's appropriate for a kid to be there at all (and not because of the nudity).

I'm not big on nude beaches after a family friend fell asleep at Wreck. Luckily, he was on his stomach, but he got a nasty sunburn and had trouble sitting down for quite a while...
post #134 of 153
It's a family beach. The only reason I can see for not going is that the government doesn't seem to care about sanitation or the safety of the beach goers, but that affects adults too.
post #135 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
It's a family beach.
Maybe times have changed. When I was younger, it a very popular place to buy drugs.
post #136 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Maybe times have changed. When I was younger, it a very popular place to buy drugs.
Really? I know that on occasion you can buy pot, but that's not different then the rest of Vancouver really.
post #137 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Really? I know that on occasion you can buy pot, but that's not different then the rest of Vancouver really.
This is getting way OT, but, yeah - it was a never-failing place to get pot, almost as sure fire for LSD, and I knew several people who got amphetamines there, too. I'm not sure about coke, because my friends knew I hated coke with a passion, so they probably wouldn't have mentioned it, yk?

So...I've always thought of it as not-so-family-friendly.
post #138 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
This is getting way OT, but, yeah - it was a never-failing place to get pot, almost as sure fire for LSD, and I knew several people who got amphetamines there, too. I'm not sure about coke, because my friends knew I hated coke with a passion, so they probably wouldn't have mentioned it, yk?

So...I've always thought of it as not-so-family-friendly.
Never heard of the other drugs.

Your right we are getting way OT, but the thread has be revived at least twice. It's gotta die sometime so someone else can start another one.

You know a few years ago a woman got arrested for selling cookies. They were pot cookies, but still cookies and there was practically a riot over it. lol
post #139 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
This is getting way OT, but, yeah - it was a never-failing place to get pot, almost as sure fire for LSD, and I knew several people who got amphetamines there, too. I'm not sure about coke, because my friends knew I hated coke with a passion, so they probably wouldn't have mentioned it, yk?

So...I've always thought of it as not-so-family-friendly.
By this definition of "family friendly" HIGH SCHOOL is not family friendly! Any city is not "family friendly!" Walking down the road isn't "family friendly" because someone might be selling drugs. sheesh!

(sorry totally ot, but TRUE)
post #140 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber View Post
By this definition of "family friendly" HIGH SCHOOL is not family friendly! Any city is not "family friendly!" Walking down the road isn't "family friendly" because someone might be selling drugs. sheesh!

(sorry totally ot, but TRUE)
Yeah - but there were a lot of people going to that beach precisely to buy (and sell) drugs. That tends to create an atmosphere that's not very friendly to children, yk?
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