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is it ever ok for toddler to be nude in public? - Page 3

post #41 of 153
I think it was really inconsiderate of them to walk and linger behind the bride and groom while the cermony was going on. Just because they think their naked toddler is the cutest thing in the world doesn't mean that an unknown couple want wedding pics with a naked toddler in the background. Even if it was a public beach there are things like respect that come into play. If we had been at the beach I would have never taken my kids where they would possibly be disturbing something like a wedding, unless the wedding was blocking the only path back to the parking area or something.
post #42 of 153
i don't care at all.

the perverts that children are most likely to encounter will be close friends/family/acquaintences...not random strangers at the beach. so that aspect does not compel me to keep dd covered up.

however, some people are probably annoyed by public nudity...but oh well.
post #43 of 153
Quote:
I think it was really inconsiderate of them to walk and linger behind the bride and groom while the cermony was going on. Just because they think their naked toddler is the cutest thing in the world doesn't mean that an unknown couple want wedding pics with a naked toddler in the background. Even if it was a public beach there are things like respect that come into play. If we had been at the beach I would have never taken my kids where they would possibly be disturbing something like a wedding, unless the wedding was blocking the only path back to the parking area or something.
yep. i think thats the issue - regardless of the kid being clothed or not!
post #44 of 153
you must be kidding? They were at a beach...totally ok.

In the supermarket, at a cafe, walking down the street, alright, mykids would be dressed.
But, if its warm enough to be naked, if the place is somewhere where there is water/swimming, or if theres lots of green grass, near nature, such as a park, then..... its ok. In a playground, ok. At a beach, very ok.
post #45 of 153
These are some of my favorite pictures of dd at age 2:
Picture 1
Picture 2
Picture 3

So, my answer is: Let 'em be naked. Yes, we used a boatload of sunscreen on her. And eventually I persuaded her to put on some clothes because I was worried about sunburn. But sunburn is my only worry. While sand in the butt is a problem, sand in diapers is even worse!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeminijad View Post
I respectfully disagree that they are "very rare." Every time I hear the stats on the frequency of little girls being sexually abused, I'm blown away by how often it happens.
I respectfully disagree. First, most molestation occurs by people who are KNOWN to the victim. Second, especially for toddlers, no stranger is going to get close enough to my toddler to molest them. I watched my toddlers all the time. Kids who are more likely to be molested are those who have gained an age where they're not under constant supervision (so the 8-12 range).
post #46 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by camracrazy View Post
I think it was really inconsiderate of them to walk and linger behind the bride and groom while the cermony was going on. Just because they think their naked toddler is the cutest thing in the world doesn't mean that an unknown couple want wedding pics with a naked toddler in the background. Even if it was a public beach there are things like respect that come into play. If we had been at the beach I would have never taken my kids where they would possibly be disturbing something like a wedding, unless the wedding was blocking the only path back to the parking area or something.
I can't believe those people were SO RUDE as to have their *wedding* in my way! I was just trying to enjoy the beach, without being reminded of the inequities of the heterosexist culture we live and damn if folks didn't have to throw it in my face! And then complain about the way *I* was spending my day at the beach!

(just to give some perspective on *public* places!)
post #47 of 153
yeah, what she said....


<<I can't believe those people were SO RUDE as to have their *wedding* in my way! I was just trying to enjoy the beach, without being reminded of the inequities of the heterosexist culture we live and damn if folks didn't have to throw it in my face! And then complain about the way *I* was spending my day at the beach!

(just to give some perspective on *public* places!>>
post #48 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeminijad View Post
I respectfully disagree that they are "very rare." Every time I hear the stats on the frequency of little girls being sexually abused, I'm blown away by how often it happens.
But what are the stats on how being unclothed on a beach as a toddler contributes to abuse? I don't see any connection between the two...

Clothes don't prevent abuse. Clothes, or the lack of them, don't cause abuse.
post #49 of 153
I don't really care about the naked-child issue -- that's no biggie to me at all.

About the public wedding issue, though, yes, the couple did open themselves up to the possibility that strangers would watch their ceremony, and the other beach-goers have every right to be on the beach, in whatever state of dress they're in. And technically, I agree that they don't really have room to complain about whatever the other beach-goers do near their wedding ceremony. Hopefully, being the kind of people who chose a public beach wedding, they're also the kind of people who wouldn't get worked up about having strangers, clothed or unclothed, in their wedding pictures.

All that said, I really would think that most people would make a slight concession to the bridal couple by staying a respectful distance away. I make concessions for other people in public places all the time, as they do for me. It's nice.
post #50 of 153
Naked toddlers don't bother me, especially at the beach. DS would fry in the sun without some clothes on so he is usually wearing swin trunks, but if he wanted to get naked for a short amount of time I wouldn't care.
post #51 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post

All that said, I really would think that most people would make a slight concession to the bridal couple by staying a respectful distance away. I make concessions for other people in public places all the time, as they do for me. It's nice.
Agreed. This is why even when someone dares to try and herd people in their family for a group shot, I will actually change my path so that I don't walk in front of their camera (or offer to take the picture) and keep my kids from getting in the way until they're done even if WE want to look over the cliff/at the sea/ride the statue/whatever.
post #52 of 153
Frankly, I think it is completely irresponsible on the parents part. First off, no child should ever be naked in public and secondly, wth where they thinking? Perverts might be perverts with clothes on too but come on, that's just asking for it. Poor little boy.

I don't even let my girls diapers show if they are wearing a dress. I put little shorts on underneath b/c I don't want someone getting their "rocks off" at my dds' :
post #53 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by primjillie View Post
What bothers me on these threads is the fact that most posters think because someone doesn't approve of nudity in public, means they are afraid of perverts or they are teaching their children to be ashamed of their bodies. What happened to modesty? I have never been inclined to be naked in public or let my children run around without clothes on when there are others around. What we do in our house is different, because of the privacy factor. I also think a bathing suit does protect them from sun, sand, rocks, bugs that might irritate their privates, the same way I might put a sun hat on a fair child. I also agree that private parts are private, not to be displayed in public, despite the age. However, if I did see a very young child frolicking naked, I would probably smile because they are so darn cute!

I'm not sure that that is what people are saying. At least I didn't see that. Some people have said they wouldn't allow their child to be naked for fear of perverts, but I didn't see anywhere where someone assumed that anyone who is not okay with it MUST be afraid of perverts. I could be wrong though.

Personally, I'm fine with it. My only concern, as pp have said, is the sun. I'm super paranoid about sunburns, so I don't think I'd be comfortable with my own kids being naked for too long, even with a ton of sunscreen (since even the best sunscreens don't always protect). I usually make my kids where bathing suits AND shirts AND hats AND sunscreen (even under the shirts), and then limit time in the sun on top of that. Like I said, paranoid.

I'm not concerned about perverts. As others have said, perverts will be perverts REGARDLESS of whether your children are clothed (and will take pictures regardless too) and most molesters are known to the child already anyway.

I do, however, believe in respecting, to a certain extent, the comfort of others around me. I'm not saying I change every little thing just to please others. It's a balance. If most people on the beach were obviously bothered by nudity, I probably would cloth my children, but if only a few were bothered, I'd say majority rules, and I'd let them go naked (well, depending on the sun etc. ).

As for not respecting the wedding couple's space, I agree the adults with the toddler should have kept him out of the photos, but I also think having a wedding in a public place invites people to watch the ceremony, and the couple should accept this. Heck, a stranger showed up at my sister's wedding, and that was in a church!! Apparently it's not uncommon for people to go to weddings of strangers because they enjoy watching people get married. I'd never heard of that until this woman showed up at my sister's ceremony.
post #54 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
I don't even let my girls diapers show if they are wearing a dress. I put little shorts on underneath b/c I don't want someone getting their "rocks off" at my dds' :
The thing is, though, if someone is going to do this, they'll do it regardless of whether your dds are clothed. Your dds could be in full snowsuits, and this could still happen. It's the image of the child, and not necessarily the nakedness of the child that matters. It's sad, sick and disgusting, but true none-the-less.

That's not to say you shouldn't cloth your children if you're uncomfortable with it. There's nothing wrong with that. We all have different levels of modesty, and you should definitely go with what you are comfortable with, but no level of modesty will keep a pervert from their disgusting thoughts.
post #55 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
Frankly, I think it is completely irresponsible on the parents part. First off, no child should ever be naked in public and secondly, wth where they thinking? Perverts might be perverts with clothes on too but come on, that's just asking for it. Poor little boy.

I don't even let my girls diapers show if they are wearing a dress. I put little shorts on underneath b/c I don't want someone getting their "rocks off" at my dds' :
Just asking for what? The parents were right there with the child, so there was no danger of molestation.

If a pervert is thinking dirty things, it does not affect the "poor little boy" in any way. There is no way to know what people are thinking and person's thoughts can't harm another person.
post #56 of 153
For water play, etc. SURE! I'm not afraid of perverts making off with my naked toddler at the beach or pool. In that environment the kid is barely going to get out of my reach because of water safety so totally not worried about pedophiles.
post #57 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post
Just asking for what? The parents were right there with the child, so there was no danger of molestation.

If a pervert is thinking dirty things, it does not affect the "poor little boy" in any way. There is no way to know what people are thinking and person's thoughts can't harm another person.
I don't care if the parents were right there, the thoughts of a pervert are enough for me to keep my child covered. They might still think nasty thoughts about my children but I know that I did everything in my power to cover my child up.

Quote:
For water play, etc. SURE! I'm not afraid of perverts making off with my naked toddler at the beach or pool. In that environment the kid is barely going to get out of my reach because of water safety so totally not worried about pedophiles.
It isn't about the act of molestation but the thoughts of doing it to your child. How you would feel if a man was staring at your child intently with a "tent" in his shorts as your child played by the pool. Would you let him b/c he wasn't activily molesting your child? It's just a thought, right?
post #58 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
I don't care if the parents were right there, the thoughts of a pervert are enough for me to keep my child covered. They might still think nasty thoughts about my children but I know that I did everything in my power to cover my child up.



It isn't about the act of molestation but the thoughts of doing it to your child. How you would feel if a man was staring at your child intently with a "tent" in his shorts as your child played by the pool. Would you let him b/c he wasn't activily molesting your child? It's just a thought, right?
A child molester will have the same thoughts regardless of how covered up the child is.
post #59 of 153
I'm European. Where we go to the beach, all kids are naked until they ask for a bathing suit - around 2-4 years of age.

Modesty to me means not flaunting sexually enticing body parts to those likely to get unduly axcited and unable to control it. Small children are highly unlikely to attract anyone's sexual attention.
post #60 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
It isn't about the act of molestation but the thoughts of doing it to your child. How you would feel if a man was staring at your child intently with a "tent" in his shorts as your child played by the pool. Would you let him b/c he wasn't activily molesting your child? It's just a thought, right?

You can't "let him" or "not let him". You have no control over that man. I don't think it hurts my child either way since they have no idea what that man is thinking.
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