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is it ever ok for toddler to be nude in public? - Page 5

post #81 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
Sorry I didn't mean to use the words "just asking for it" I have a sick kid and she was upset and I was trying to post quickly, I apologize. It is never a child's fault as to why they were molested, ever.

I know that nothing I do will stop a pervert from thinking nasty thoughts but in my mind, if my toddler is naked, he is able to have even nastier ones vs. if she is fully clothed. And like the others, it's about modesty as well. Of course I worry about pervs in this world but I also don't think it's appriopate for a child to be naked in public.

That doesn't make it a wrong thing for me to think this? It's called an opinion and everyone has one. And just for the record, if there was a man staring at my child at the local pool, I would leave. I would not allow him to think sexually about my child.
You don't have to think it's right for toddlers to be naked. But you can't go around calling people irrisponsable because they don't agree with you.

Clothes don't limit the nastiness of what a pedophile thinks, unless that pedophile has never seen a naked human being before that it. Which is highly unlikely.
post #82 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
The perverts will still be perverts if the boy had had clothes on. It's up to the parents and the toddler to decide if he wears clothes and no one else. I say no big deal.
:

my biggest concerns would be sunburn and potty accidents. the whole pervert factor isn't really on my radar with this, to be honest.
post #83 of 153
If you can't run nakey butt on a beach when you are three, when CAN you do it?
post #84 of 153
After some naked pictures of my DD (baby but still) of my DD that I never took popped up on a google search including a blog with some not so nice comments. I've been very careful of who what my child wears in public and who gets to take her picture. FOr me personally it deffiently crosses my level of comfort.

Deanna
post #85 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
And just for the record, if there was a man staring at my child at the local pool, I would leave. I would not allow him to think sexually about my child.
but you do realize, right, that once he has SEEN your child, he can forever and ever think sexually about your child? he can fantasize about your child every day for the rest of his life. and there's no LETTING him or not letting him. it's just completely beyond your control. i really don't get why you're so hung up on this issue. you can never ever stop pedophiles from fantasizing about your children...just like you can never stop your DH from fantasizing about other women (or men).
post #86 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
I know that nothing I do will stop a pervert from thinking nasty thoughts but in my mind, if my toddler is naked, he is able to have even nastier ones vs. if she is fully clothed.

I don't think this is necessarily true. I've seen perverts once or twice when I was around 8 y/o next to my school; one was even masturbating while looking at children wearing their school uniform.

That doesn't make it a wrong thing for me to think this? It's called an opinion and everyone has one.

As you said, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. This doesn't make people irresponsible parents.
Sorry, I don't know how to do multiple quotes.
post #87 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by darcytrue View Post
I'm not comfortable with it. If it's a place where an adult wouldn't go naked then why allow a child to do so? I assure you if the child were older and had a choice in the matter they would not choose to do it.
And, how exactly can you "assure" us of that? I left the clothing thing entirely up to ds1. He chose to be always naked in the house until he was about 6. He was almost always naked outside, weather permitting, until about the same age. When asked if he wanted to put clothes on, he generally said "no". So...when he had a choice in the matter, he chose to be naked, not clothed.

DH dislikes the kids being out in public naked, and I'm not going to get into an argument about it, so dd and ds2 have to put clothes on if they go outside. Neither one of them agrees with the rule, and neither one of them likes it.
post #88 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by angie7 View Post
I know that nothing I do will stop a pervert from thinking nasty thoughts but in my mind, if my toddler is naked, he is able to have even nastier ones vs. if she is fully clothed.
I have never in my life heard or seen anything to support this. They can have plenty of nasty thoughts about a fully clothed child. They can perform plenty of nasty acts on a fully clothed child.

Quote:
That doesn't make it a wrong thing for me to think this? It's called an opinion and everyone has one.
You can think what you want, but that doesn't make me irresponsible for thinking otherwise.

Quote:
And just for the record, if there was a man staring at my child at the local pool, I would leave. I would not allow him to think sexually about my child.
Of course you can leave - I probably would, too. But, I'm not sure how you think you have any power at all over what he thinks about your child.
post #89 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
Especially at the beach - all that sun, the sand...oof...I have serious sand issues anyway, the thought of them getting in all those folds, etc. [shudder]
I had some nudist friends when I was younger. The woman told me a couple of times that she preferred clothing optional beaches, because sand wasn't as much of a problem without a bathing suit. I never tried skinny dipping or hanging out naked on the beach, but I'd have to trust her opinion over mine, yk?
post #90 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeminijad View Post
My DD (and future children) will not be nude in 'public.' We'll teach them not to be ashamed of their bodies, but to recognize that not everyone has the right to see their private areas... JMO based on my own negative experiences as a child.
I agree. My children are 100% comfy in their bodies and know their bodies are nothing to be ashamed of, but they also know as they mature that some areas of their bodies are special and aren't meant to be shown to just anyone. It isn't a cover the shameful parts of your body thing, it's a respect the intimate areas of your body thing.

And I had no negative experiences as a child. (Sorry you did, jeminijad).

FWIW, I wouldn't run around in a panic either if any kiddo got loose at the beach or wherever and was running around naked. Nor would I care if I saw another naked toddler, though I would be concerned about sand in the "parts" and others watching with ill intent.
post #91 of 153
This is pretty normal in Poland. I spend the summers at the Baltic sea there, and nude toddlers and kids abound. The adults wear clothes, but anyone below age 7 - usually nothing there.

My cousins ran around, alternatively nude and in their underwear, at the beach. I mean, not on a nude beach.

It doesn't seem like a big deal to me - but, then, I also spent a lot of time on nude beaches when I was growing up. So nudity (adult or child) ... eh, no big deal.

Re: sand - I also found that being nude at the beach is WAY easier in terms of not getting sand where you don't want it. Bathing suits seem to trap sand in all the wrong places. In my experience, at least.
post #92 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancta View Post
I agree. My children are 100% comfy in their bodies and know their bodies are nothing to be ashamed of, but they also know as they mature that some areas of their bodies are special and aren't meant to be shown to just anyone. It isn't a cover the shameful parts of your body thing, it's a respect the intimate areas of your body thing.
I guess I have trouble with this one, too. It's like the only way people can respect their own intimate areas is by adhering to the rules/norms somebody else sets for them. I just don't get how that works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailor View Post
Re: sand - I also found that being nude at the beach is WAY easier in terms of not getting sand where you don't want it. Bathing suits seem to trap sand in all the wrong places. In my experience, at least.
I was thinking about this after my last post. I don't like the beach, so I've had very little adult experience, either way. When I am at the beach, I'm generally in the water, or sitting on a log or rock, so I don't deal with much sand. But, I do remember going crazy with sand stuck in my bathing suit as a kid. It drove me nuts. There was no way to get it off, and even going into the water to rinse the suit didn't help. I'd have to think that sand on bare skin would be better.
post #93 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by junie View Post
The thing is, though, if someone is going to do this, they'll do it regardless of whether your dds are clothed. Your dds could be in full snowsuits, and this could still happen.
I don't know how much I believe this. If that was the case, then they could just sell Playboy with fully clothed models, no?

The fact is that a perv is going to have a tougher time thinking up pervy thoughts about a clothed child than one whose parts are just there for him to watch.

I mean, seriously, if a sicko is hanging out at a beach, which kids is he going to be watching? The clothed ones or the naked ones?
post #94 of 153
Well, at a beach, aren't kids unclothed anyway? They wear bathing suits. Some of them just the bottoms. Some of them (IMO, fairly sexy bikinis - which I find scary). That's very easy to perv on. Bathing suits are featured in lots of sex/risque magazines.
post #95 of 153
I see it this way. there are so few years in your life that you can get away with running naked at the beach and it is a great feeling (if any of you can remember it) I want my kids to be able to do that for as long as they are comfortable. That being said, we don't usually go to crowded beaches and I am always close by.
post #96 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I guess I have trouble with this one, too. It's like the only way people can respect their own intimate areas is by adhering to the rules/norms somebody else sets for them. I just don't get how that works.
I'm raising my kids to be adults. In my culture, adults don't walk around naked. Not because our bodies are shameful (because they certainly aren't!) but because there are parts we don't just let anyone and everyone see. So once my kids are old enough to understand that, then running around naked isn't something I encourage anymore. There is a time when I want them to realize that their "special" parts truly are special and aren't to be shown to everyone.
post #97 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailor View Post
Well, at a beach, aren't kids unclothed anyway? They wear bathing suits. Some of them just the bottoms. Some of them (IMO, fairly sexy bikinis - which I find scary). That's very easy to perv on. Bathing suits are featured in lots of sex/risque magazines.
I'm calling bathing suits clothing for the time being. Bathing suit vs naked. A perv will be watching the naked kids, and if there are no naked kids he'll likely be watching the kids the most skimpily dressed. Is skimpily a word? Probably not.
post #98 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancta View Post
I don't know how much I believe this. If that was the case, then they could just sell Playboy with fully clothed models, no?
Sure, the sex magazines feature naked women. But, guys still comment sexually on models on the cover of Cosmo or whatever who are fully dressed. I've heard dozens, if not hundreds, of sexually speculative comments about actresses that the men making the comments have never seen naked. I've personally had some pretty intense fantasies about men I've seen walking around in jeans and t-shirts.

In any case, Playboy - at least the last time I flipped through one - doesn't feature naked women walking on the beach. It features naked women in very sexually provocative positions, with captions and quotes that are definitely intended to provoke sexual thoughts. Most times when I've seen an ordinary woman naked (in a movie or something), the guys in the room have been not very interested. Playboy (and the rest) sell fantasy, not sex.

Quote:
The fact is that a perv is going to have a tougher time thinking up pervy thoughts about a clothed child than one whose parts are just there for him to watch.
Do you have any evidence to support this at all? I've seen this sentiment many times, but nobody has anything to back it up, except gut feeling. Nudity doesn't equal sex between adults, so there's no reason to assume that it does so for a pedophile. (I have to say that clothing has never inhibited my ability to think "pervy thoughts".)

Quote:
I mean, seriously, if a sicko is hanging out at a beach, which kids is he going to be watching? The clothed ones or the naked ones?
Well, the sicko at my community poll went there, precisely so that he could observe kids in bathing suits. There were always at least some naked kids around outside...but in the summer, he haunted an indoor pool, with "no nudity" rules. So...I'd guess it really depends on the sicko.

A fig leaf is a symbol. It's not going to stop sexual speculation, whether the person wearing it is a child or an adult.
post #99 of 153
Since it has gotten warm DS is generally outside naked or w/ a shirt only on for an hour or so each morning. (Between 8-9:30 am)
The rest of the day I *try* to keep clothes on him, but he is constantly taking off his pants and diaper or trainers.
The only reason I try to get clothes back on him is the sun.
I can't imagine having a problem with it for modesty reasons until he is much older. Like verging on puberty. Although I fully expect him to decide to wear clothes more often before it gets to that point.
In a more public place like the beach or lake it would probably be somewhere closer to 4/5 when I'd feel uncomfortable with him being naked. [Unless it was a nude beach, of course] Just b/c by then it seems like he would have a chance of running into female peers who might be uncomfortable at seeing him naked.
I am generally happy to see cute little toddlers running around naked.

[Tangent] but I do have to admit that I sometimes feel uncomfortable seeing little boys that have been circed, b/c I have become accustomed to seeing the glans of a penis only during sex so it is jarring for me to see it out and about. Not that they appear sexual to me exactly, but it just throws me for a loop. However, that's just my issue and I don't think it should stop them! But maybe that is how some people feel about nudity in public in general. For whatever reason I just happen to know lots of people around here that let their kids run around naked so I'm used to it. But I guess if you're not it can be a big deal.[/Tangent]
post #100 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sancta View Post
I'm calling bathing suits clothing for the time being. Bathing suit vs naked. A perv will be watching the naked kids, and if there are no naked kids he'll likely be watching the kids the most skimpily dressed. Is skimpily a word? Probably not.
Again - prove it. I've never seen any backup on this - not ever.

I was one of the most tomboy-ish girls in my 6th (and 7th) grade class. As a result of my lack of interest in fashion, etc., I tended to be far less skimpily dressed than many/most of my female classmates. That didn't stop our perverted janitor from getting his hands on me...or on a friend of mine, who was similarly tomboy-ish. He didn't care about skimpily dressed.
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