Chat Mon 6/8- Sun 6/14 - Page 3

[wobblykate]

well, i've come to the sad conclusion that if i want to get anything done during the day I'm going to have to get up when dh leaves for work. I've already eaten breakfast, fed the baby and put her down for a nap, folded the laundry, washed the dishes, washed more laundry and made banana bread. Before 10 am and lo is still sleeping. I'm going to have to wake her up to shower.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by wobblykate

funny thing is my dh has a degree in sociology from a very left-leaning soc. dept...he knows about the whole "double duty" concept and is pro-feminist...i think the main issue is that he feels stuck at his job and can't get enough $ for school

My DH is a very progressive guy too, but apparently at home old habits die hard- his dad is the kind who doesn't do a lick of "women's work", though his wife was a WOHM the whole time. This was actually a huge shock to me when we had our son, the way my husband seems to slip up and think he's being so good if he does ANYTHING, like really its my job and he's "helping" me out (like its not equally our responsibility to care for our family and our kid!). I was raised in a household where even though my mom was a SAHM until I was about 15, my dad always did a lot around the house and a lot of childcare, and was very genuinely respectful of the work my mom did as an artist and a mom. But, apparently he's very unusual. And while my DH likes what he actually does at his job, he is paid so poorly and so low on the totem pole that it makes him hate it, so I know its partly that he thinks I have the better deal somehow. He stayed home for 9 weeks w/ our son when he was 9mos old while I was doing a full-time course, and by the end he was pretty fried! I sometimes remind him of how hard that was... (and I was still making dinner, breastfeeding, and doing laundry and housework!)

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

The paci is HUGE. It means she still knows how to suck so hopefully bottle or nursing wont be a big deal to her!

She is getting formula/BM now (Jenelles milk lasted a whole week!!!) and the transition has been perfect, no vomiting!

Lindsay, I wish I was closer and I could pump for you too! Really. Its so inspiring that someone gave you a whole week of BM. For the babies with underlying health issues its even more important to get as much BM as they can and every week older that she gets, that is that much stronger her own immune system becomes. And what you said about the paci reminded me about our good friends whose son was in the NICU for a month. He learned to suck on a paci and went home and nursed well for a year. (he had to have an operation to attach his esophogas to his stomach, so he couldn't eat by mouth for quite a while and had a tube straight into his stomach. But they started having him "practice" sucking on a paci whenever they fed him so he would learn to associate sucking with eating. And it worked).

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

I don't even have the energy to read all the posts. I woke up so angry with DD1 this morning just for being a four year old and wanting to get up for the day.
[...]

I feel so bad being so angry towards her, she is my first born and yet I wish I only had the baby...that sounds absolutly terrible (crying). It was so much easier with one. And the baby doesn't drain my energy. DD1 is just so demanding, I want this, I want that even as we speak UGH!!! I know I'm probably just sleep deprieved, it's going to be a hard day.

Shine I know just what you mean. Actually I don't mind the early AM (and DH has to get off to work by 7:30, and he takes DS to school 3 days a week, so really we have to get up). But afternoons were like this for me for a bit- I *SO* wanted the two kids to take a nap at the same time so I could rest. Just 20 minutes or so would make a big difference. And DS would inevitably do something to wake baby just as I got her to sleep- or throw a fit and refuse to nap, etc, and then finally go to sleep after she woke up, etc. Finally I just let go of the idea of me napping, and its been better. Its like now that DS doesn't sense how BADLY I want him to sleep, its easier for him to sleep. GRR. So, I am going to bed earlier at night despite desperately wanting some "grownup" time after they are sleeping, I just can't get my afternoon nap that I want. I am trying to remember that my 4yo is being more demanding and "babyish" b/c he's seeing all the attention the baby is getting. It doesn't always help me in the moment, b/c I can be pretty crabby towards him, esp at the end of the day (since I didn't get my nap!). Today I am grumpy b/c I accidentally stayed up later than I should have, and wouldn't you know it, baby didn't sleep as well as usual either.

Originally Posted by Murph12334

I sometimes have to do things (like put clothes on so we can go somewhere) and I have to put him down. So I let him scream because there is no other option.
I'm so afraid all the screaming is doing bad things for him. I know I've read about the problems with CIO (with I know it's not - but he cries a lot).

gosh, no, thats normal. I made dinner while my baby screamed in her sling for 30 minutes yesterday. It was horrible, I was almost crying, but really there was nothing else I could do at that point. And I am convinced that some kids really do cry more that others. I think of it this way: its our job to make sure they are safe, healthy, and well-cared-for, and while we do our best to interpret their cries (and other communication) its actually not our job to stop them from crying. They will cry sometimes.

Later in childhood its also hard to see your kids having strong negative emotions, but sometimes we have to just support them and let them have those feelings. Of course babies are different, but I think that later in toddlerhood/childhood many parents want to distract their kids from every hurt, and I don't even think that is good- they need to learn coping skills, and they need to learn that their emotions aren't so scary that even adults are afraid to let them have bad feelings, you know.

YIKES, baby is sleeping I should lie down and rest! I got my teeth cleaned today and they were so nice- held Phoebe until my friend got there, and then she held her while I had my appt. Phoebe slept the whole time- phew. It was about an hour and 20 minutes so not that long. Got to go back thursday for some work on my broken tooth, but my aunt will be here then so I'll leave the kids with her.

[claras_mom]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

I don't even have the energy to read all the posts. I woke up so angry with DD1 this morning just for being a four year old and wanting to get up for the day. LO wakes from 4-6 usually and nurses and squirmes so I'm awake...then I just get back to sleep and DD1 comes in. Usually she'd just lay next to us for a while then go potty and watch cartoons in our bed, but she's been sooo loud and moving about that it wakes LO and then I'm upset. I'm not a morning person anyway and this is sooo hard. I feel so bad being so angry towards her, she is my first born and yet I wish I only had the baby...that sounds absolutly terrible (crying). It was so much easier with one. And the baby doesn't drain my energy. DD1 is just so demanding, I want this, I want that even as we speak UGH!!! I know I'm probably just sleep deprieved, it's going to be a hard day.

Have my 6 week appt this morning, a bit nervous about the exam.

: In my opinion, four is way harder than two was. Dd1 is 4-1/2--some days we're fine; other days she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and stays there. And my patience is worn thin because I feel as if I haven't had a good night's sleep in months (I can take waking up early; what gets me is when she's pissy from the moment she opens her eyes). We've been trying to make sure she gets lots and lots of running around time, which seems to help a little. Last night, dh took her to the grocery store; left early enough for some park time on the way.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by claras_mom

: In my opinion, four is way harder than two was. Dd1 is 4-1/2--some days we're fine; other days she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and stays there. And my patience is worn thin because I feel as if I haven't had a good night's sleep in months (I can take waking up early; what gets me is when she's pissy from the moment she opens her eyes). We've been trying to make sure she gets lots and lots of running around time, which seems to help a little. Last night, dh took her to the grocery store; left early enough for some park time on the way.

I agree completely. And my main strategy is: "lets go outside." Harder w/ baby.

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by bodhitree

We just got back from the cardiologist's office. Good news! Judging from the sound of her heart murmur, the doc thinks the hole is getting smaller. :::
.

yay! good news!

Originally Posted by wobblykate

I'm definitely waiting on the back carry. She's not quite big enough to stick her legs out the leg holes comfortably in the front hold, and I would like her to have a little more control of her body. I may wait until she can syt up on her own

I'll wait tull 6mo before back carry.

Originally Posted by bodhitree

Have I mentioned how much River loves staring at the blinds? .

I'm going to stand by blinds next time she's fussy!

Originally Posted by AFWife

The countdown to DH is now less than 48 hours! Yay!

.

bummer on the fleas! yay on DH arrival!!!

Originally Posted by Peony

I think that if men had to do most of the child rearing that the human race would of died out by now.

Yup! I agree!!!!

Originally Posted by FischK

The doctor suggested to keep him awake during the day to help him (and us) sleep at night. Seems like an easy enough solution, so we've been working on that this afternoon.
.

Shine, thanks for the tip about the Maya wrap. Will try to find a good deal on that.

That backfired for us...LO ended up most of the night as she was overly tired. Hope it works for you! Check out diaperswappers.com for used wraps!

Originally Posted by Sasharna

Okay... so I've never used Facebook, really. I have an account but have been afraid to use it. If I join the group for our DDC, how much info from my page comes up for other group members to view? And how do I join the group?

I was nervous, but there are so many ways to protect your info...give it a try!

Originally Posted by wobblykate

I guess because someone woke you up at the butt-crack of dawn on the wrong side'o'the bed? Sorry you don't get to see your delivering mw....are you getting bc of any sort? I have to go back to have my iud re-checked. Maybe you can schedule a follow-up with her?

just doing condoms, but made an appt to chat with her in 2 weeks.

Originally Posted by claras_mom

: In my opinion, four is way harder than two was. Dd1 is 4-1/2--some days we're fine; other days she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and stays there. .

four is way harder yet easier... we just have to get on some sort of schedule and I have to not expect her to do things a 7 year old is expected to do, she's only 4. Thanks everyone for your comments...it helps.

MW appt went fine. Everything is healed as it should. The speculum hurt a bit, havn't had that since teenage years! Hope I don't end up spotting. She said to try different positions for DTD to stretch things back out...I'm not even sure I want to DTD... Obviously it's up to me emotionally. I hope DH will understand that. I gained 30lbs with the pregnancy and I have 10 lbs left to loose but then another 10 lbs to my ideal weight...I want to get there by Sept, is it possible???? Going to the MW office made me kinda sad that this stage in my life is over...I think my emotions are just totally out of whack today!
Going to try to get DD1 to have rest time in her bed so LO and I can snuggle and doze a bit. I"m tired.

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by wobblykate

he'll be 31 in july

Daddies just don't get how much the freedom to be able to go to the store alone (or even the bathroom) is worth, do they?

.

Yes, DH never ever gets this...he doesn't get how much I multitask and it frustrates me when I go to do something, he holds her then puts her down to do something he could have done while holding her, then she crys. I end up holding her while doing my thing...why can't he???

But really he is GREAT at doing housework and going to the store and hasn't gotten on me too much about housework. AS long as I have the house somewhat picked up, an idea on supper and the table and counters are clean in the kitchen, and some type of laundry in progress, he's pretty happy. And the days I'm really down and out, he is understanding, especially when I''m teary!

ETA: I forgot to add tha the basically does evyerhitng for DD1 when he's home. He bathes her, does bedtime, takes her everywhere he goes (outside, store, etc) Even when he mows, he watches her outside...so I am very lucky.

[MelW]

A quick hello before I go fold a couple of loads of laundry.. My sister is in town this week, so we've been busy. She's also newly pregnant, and I'm passing on maternity clothes, and eventually baby stuff, too.

Lindsay, I'm glad to hear that Sophia is doing so well! She is adorable!!!

Kate and Lindsay, my husband is 31 too

Shine, I hope you have a better day tomorrow! Early mornings are no fun when you're tired!

AFWife, thinking of you- is today the big day??? (or tomorrow- I forget)

I took Nora for a check-up and weighing with a colleague at work today. She's little- only 9lbs 11oz. I have been worried about her feeding, but since she's gaining and healthy and totally meeting every milestone I'm trying to be zen about it. I will go see my GP next month to weigh her again, though.

I really need to get at that pile of laundry before dinner...

[FischK]

Thanks all for the complements on my hair. I am quite flattered.

Lindsay, glad Sophia is doing great and eating well. She's very cute!

Shine, thanks for the link to the diaperswapper-forum. I'd already ordered the wrap from Mayawraps (they sell used, too), but I'm also in the market for cloth diapers. We got two huge boxes of Pampers as a present, so we've been using those, but I'd like to switch once we're done with them.

On keeping LO awake: Sort of worked yesterday. He woke up at 2 to eat but went back to bed and slept until 8. We've been trying to keep him up for about 2 hours between naps and he's now reaching the point where he's cranky and unhappy. Not that great, but hopefully it will get better once he's used to it.

bodhitree, great news about River. Glad she's doing better.

My day was uneventful. Took DS to the office to print some things and then to HR. People get so excited to see a little baby. Tonight, we took a longer walk. I think I am regaining my strength and will hopefully be able to start some more serious exercise after the 6-week appt.

Oh, and about DH: he's actually very helpful and I'm glad he's around a lot. I don't know what I would have done without him a few weeks ago. But sometimes, he just totally misses the point (and he's 33, so things don't change the older they get). Tonight, though, he first gave DS a bath and then fed him his first bottle. Starting later this week, he'll take DS in the afternoon so that I can get some writing done.

[nancy11]

byebye KL0...

[Murph12334]

I got big smiles this morning and big coo's! awww cuteness

[ShineliketheSon]

Originally Posted by nancy11

byebye KL0...

Oh those are my favorite infant dipes...we are still using ours and I will keep the purple one for sentamental value!

Originally Posted by Murph12334

I got big smiles this morning and big coo's! awww cuteness

It's great isn't it!!! We get smiles and coos when changing her on the changing table...not changing her on the floor just on the changing table...I hadn't planned to use it much but now I do every change!

I"m an emotional wreck this morning and it's not tiredness as I slept well till 4am and DH took LO at 6:30 and put her in the swing downstairs by the bathroom while he got ready for work. so I got 1 1/2 hours of deep sleep. But then DH came in to tell me goodbye and started kissin...I'm good if I initiate it but not if he does. I'm okay with a little kiss but not yet okay with makeout sessions. He keeps trying and I know he feels really really really bad when he realizes how it makes me feel, yet he still keeps trying. I know he's missing the love from me not just physical but emotional...I just pour it all day long on the girls and there is none left at this point. Quick kisses and long hugs...that's all I can do right now. I wish he'd get that.

Thanks Kate for saying that you know I adore DD1 and am just tired. I so do love my girls! And I'm much more loving to her today and was the rest of the day yesterday. I am however allowing her to watch more TV this morning (thank goodness she didn't drain my energy yesterday so I don't have to use no TV or Computer game as consequences!!) I just have to get myself together.

ETA: The worst part is I know there are moms out there really suffering and here I am all sad and upset over absolutly NOTHING!

[emmaegbert]

wohoo baby drank a bottle no prob while I was out last night for 1.5 hours (visiting a new baby, it made mine seem huge!). She sucked 3oz down like it was nothing, guess I'll have to leave more next time. (DH forgot there was a couple of frozen storage bags of milk, he could have thawed up some more for her). Oh I hope she's easier about this than her brother was. I have one of those "born free" glass bottles, small size, DH said she didn't bat an eyelash. DS asked later if he could just have the bottle and see if she's hungry. I think we'll let him give her the bottle next time I go out, little things to help brother-sister bonding are good, right?

Gotta clean up around here and then I am going to try and make it to a 'mom and me' yoga class today, and I'm psyched to start trying some grownup classes soon- still haven't managed it despite my good intentions. My aunt comes this afternoon for a few days, I'm looking forward to the adult company and the extra set of hands.

[emmaegbert]

Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon

I just pour it all day long on the girls and there is none left at this point. Quick kisses and long hugs...that's all I can do right now. I wish he'd get that.

This is exactly how I feel most of the time. And DH has no way to know when are the 5 minutes I'm in a different mood, poor guy.

Hope everyone is having a good (or better) day...

Oh my kissaluvs. I gave them to a friend after DS grew out of them and never got them back. I am so tempted to buy some more even though I have a huge stash of fuzzibunz that were given as hand-me-downs, so it hard to justify the cost.

[wobblykate]

Originally Posted by nancy11

byebye KL0...

yup...i'm still using them at night with a doubler until my new pfs get here, but they don't stand up to poo. they were cute while they lasted!

[goodmomma76]

Well, I know that morning nap can't be interrupted still. We drove to ds' dentist appt this morning and she is a crab now. blah

[nancy11]

Originally Posted by wobblykate

yup...i'm still using them at night with a doubler until my new pfs get here, but they don't stand up to poo. they were cute while they lasted!

I was using them at night and just started doubling with preemie prefolds.
Infant prefolds during the day.
No poop at night, here.

Someone's body is too long for fhem...
I ordered bigger pfs, some bg 3 aio and next size thirsties.

[Lindsay1234]

Im not going to jinx it by typing it but please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for you-know-what this friday!::

[wobblykate]

Originally Posted by nancy11

I was using them at night and just started doubling with preemie prefolds.
Infant prefolds during the day.
No poop at night, here.

Someone's body is too long for fhem...
I ordered bigger pfs, some bg 3 aio and next size thirsties.

yup...i'm loving the infant pfs. just ordered another dozen. gotta love globalenfant.com's flat rate shipping! my sil loves the thirsties fitteds...i have some of their wraps and find they're nice and roomy for chunky babies. Eden's still in the xs, which easily covers an infant pf. wish i could afford more bg 3.0

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Im not going to jinx it by typing it but please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for you-know-what this friday!::

::::

[MelW]

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Im not going to jinx it by typing it but please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for you-know-what this friday!::

:::

We're going to a baby welcoming party for Nora and two co-workers' babies this evening. Neela is out playing with my sisters, and Nora is sleeping. I'm debating about getting dressed for the party now, but doubt that I can stay spit-up free for two hours.

My sister is visiting and 11 weeks pregnant with her first. I've given her my maternity clothes and have loaned a stack of pregnancy books to her. And made her cry at least three times already (or the pregnancy hormones have). I'm really a nice person...really.

[bodhitree]

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Im not going to jinx it by typing it but please everyone, keep your fingers crossed for you-know-what this friday!::

Consider mine crossed! :

LO fell asleep in the Moby while I was cooking. Now she's trying to wake up and keeps headbutting my chest. Perhaps someone is hungry?