Do you wish for something legitimately bad to happen to you, so you have an excuse to be upset?

[Anassa54]

Do you wish for something traumatic to happen to you, because you're already upset but people don't empathize or sympathize and say you have no reason to be upset and you're illogical, and you want them to see that you have a legitimate reason for being upset? So you wish something would happen that would make most people upset so that you will have a legitimate reason to be upset? I've wished for that for that reason. Though also,
I have been accused of doing that (looking for something to be upset about, either because it feels good to be upset [which was never the reason I did it] or because I'[m already upset and want to legitimize it so that people don't shame or scorn me for being upset and instead are supportive.).

[notjustmamie]

I don't feel that way now, but I remember having those feelings in high school. I was depressed for no "real" reason and I told my counselor I wished I could head over to Bosnia (this was during the war) just so I'd have a valid excuse to feel so upset and stressed.

I'm sorry you're not finding support from the people around you.

[fromtheheart]

Yes. I have felt that way when I was pregnant and postpartum. Just like you said. It's like no one cares about your actual issue so you wish you had an issue they could care about.

I hope you can find support.
http://www.ppdsupportpage.com/

[Anassa54]

Notjustmamie, I felt that way in high school too, though I didn't wish to join the military because of it... though I did plan to join the military for the excitement and attention! But maybe it was because of that that I wanted to join to get attention...

[snh6]

Yeah, just last night my husband who still can't seem to acknowledge that I am clinically depressed, said that I might have a problem, but there are plenty of other people out there with bigger problems. Um, yeah, I agree, but that doesn't mean that you can down-play or ignore MY depression.

[Litcrit]

YES! I STILL feel that way, although I'm not depressed any more - my fantasy is being able to say afterwards - after something legitimately horrible happening to me personally, not my family - 'This feels much better than the depression did, actually'.

Actually, the depression felt much worse than losing my mom when I was 20 to a long, tortuous illness. Much worse than ANYTHING I'd experienced thus far. Because whatever happens to you in 'normal' life, you have your feeling of the meaning of life to back you up, to keep you going. But with depression, you LOSE that very foundation - where can you turn then? And with PPD, everybody thinks you're supposed to be ecstatic - after all, you've got an adorable baby!

I used to pray for physical pain instead. To bargain with God that I'd agree to feel the intensity of labor pain, or worse, all day long, at least once a week, if He'd alleviate the pain in my heart. Anything real. Any actual prolem, pain, issue.

I know how you feel. It's not fair not to be taken seriously just because your pain has no 'objective' cause, and feeling it worse than any objective cause could ever produce.

[transformed]

I understand.

[sheandaru]

Yes. Like I'll wish for a car accident or something to happen to cause me physical pain just so I can have a reason to rest and have people help me.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by sheandaru

Yes. Like I'll wish for a car accident or something to happen to cause me physical pain just so I can have a reason to rest and have people help me.

:::

::

[Pookietooth]

Yes. I was actually jealous of another mom at ds's preschool who was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer, because all the moms took turns making meals for her, and also her in-laws moved into town just to help out, even though her parents and siblings also live in the area. Isn't that awful? I hated her for all the support she was getting. to you.