How do you deal with sweets?

[nancy926]

DD is 14 mos and we haven't had to deal with her asking for cookies, etc...because usually we don't have them in the house. I do need a chocolate "fix" once in awhile though, so she has had bites of chocolate.

My question is: How do you treat snacky foods? Are they "special" foods that your kidlets can have only at certain times or in certain quantities, or do you ban them altogether, or are they okay to have whenever and in whatever quantity they like?

I don't want to make sweets seem like something "special" by limiting them, but they are not nutritionally sound so I'm not sure I want to make them freely available. I want to trust DD to choose her own foods, but I'm worried because I grew up eating way too many sweets (they were not limited in my house) and I still do (I eat them for comfort mostly, not out of hunger, though).

TIA!
Nancy

[anothermama]

well, my *personal* experience has been that unless a child is really strictly restricted, then they usually won't go overboard when allowed to make their own choices.

what I mean is that if you don't hold a really tight, strict stance on it and your attitude about whatever it is is casual but consistant, your kids will probably be able to be ok once old enough to make their own choices.

for example: I have friends who's parents where FREAKS about not drinking, NEVER had alcohol in the house, and always lectured about it's evils. those are the friends who went on drinking binges in high school and college. My parents didn't make it an issue. We only ever had the occasional wine in the house, and my parents made it clear they didn't drink, but it wasn't a big deal. So my brother and I always saw it as not a big deal and didn't do that binge drinking.

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!! (sheesh I'm feeling cloudy and long winded today!!!!!!!!)

Allll that said, I just don't keep it in the house, but if my dd (whos 4) goes to a birthday party or something I don't really care if she has a big ol' gross piece of cake and she gets plenty of candy on Easter and Halloween. If she asks in the store on a normal shopping trip, I just say no because it's not good for growing girls. I'm preg now and it's been a struggle because I've actually started buying more soda and snacky foods I can eat, but I just make it clear that these are because mama is pregnant and doesn't feel good and these foods don't make me throw up right now. It seems to work out fine for us.

It also helps that we primarily shop at the natural food co-op...not a lot to tempt her with there other than fruit leather and natural root beer.

[sagewinna]

Sweets are ok here once in a while, but are generally eaten after a meal.

[manitoba_mommy]

I handle it the way my mom did, I don't buy sweets, rarely bake and don't restrict them when we are out. Baisically if we are in a place where they are or if someone offers them it is not a problem I just do not keep them in the house often. Course, the lack of them in the house is just as much for my waist line and DH's as anything to do with the kids :LOL

MM

[vipassanagal]

As a child, I wasn't allowed sweets - even had a no-sugar b-day cake at age 5 (I cried from embarassment). I remember binging on sweets at my grandparents. So, I agree with not being to strict about no sweets.

But, I don't want my ds (23m) to eat sweets. So, we don't have them. If it's a special time, we might bake. Or, he can taste some cake at parties. It's been fine so far, but know as he gets older this will be hard to keep up. I think setting some limits is good.

[grian]

We go with everything in moderation at our house but I do draw the line at commercial candy bars and soda pop (more for the other additives and hydo. oils than the refined sugar).

[Marlena]

If dd has sweets, it's almost always after a meal. By "sweets," by the by, I mean homemade desserts, the occasional non-homemade ice cream, and, in winter, homemade hot cocoa.

I eat dessert whenever we have it in the house, so I can hardly expect to indulge myself and not let dd have some, too. But I don't eat a huge portion, and dd doesn't get a large portion, either. She usually self-limits her sweets, as well, if given the opportunity to have more.

[Greaseball]

My personal experience - sweets were not available in my mom's house. My mom even considered cheese to be "junk food." So when I went to a friend's house, I would stuff myself (basically steal food) with all the things I wasn't allowed to have.

At my dad's house, he had candy bars in the freezer and the main beverage in the house was Tang. I quickly got over my obsession with sweets; I hardly ever wanted any.

I treat them like any other food - if dd asks for it and it's in the house, she can have it no matter what time of day it is or what else she's had to eat. And yet she rarely asks for them. Once we gave her a large piece of cake with dinner, and she pushed it away to get to the green beans.

This way, if I did want to limit her consumption, I'd have to limit my own as well. I don't have many "adult foods" and "kid foods" - the only thing I have that she can't have is coffee, which I'm not having now anyway since I'm pg and this kid doesn't get coffee either!

I think not making a big deal out of it is the way to go.

[water]

I agree with the above; I was never allowed to eat sweets or candy or any kind of cereal with sugar even! I would steal handfuls of brown sugar (the only sweet thing in the house) and sneak them outside to suck on them. I also binged whenever I was anywhere around sweets. I would get in trouble for stealing money so I could go to the candy store and buy penny candy (I wasn't given an allowance either).

So we don't have candy or sweets in the house on a regular basis, but we do occasionally, and ds is allowed to have them, and he can have whatever is being served when we are out. And sometimes we will buy treats when we are out too.

I want him to learn that they are not forbidden, but neither are they everyday things.

[mamalisa]

My general rule for treats here is pretty easy going. We almost always have sweets (except right now, grrrr) so it isnt' a big deal to him. Sometimes we eat a lot of them, most times we don't. He is pretty good about picking out good snacks, he knows treats aren't a snack. He will ask for an apple or pear and later ask for candy. Funny thing is I've been on a crap cereal binge, Apple Jacks, Coco Pebbles, it's bad. My SIL was staying with us and she had a big bowl of Apple Jacks for breakfast. She asked ds if he wanted some and he told her that candy cereal was not for breakfast that it is a treat and he would just have toast and an apple. He thought she was nuts, eating candy cereal for breakfast:LOL

[oceanbaby]

Like some other posters said, the main is that we don't keep it in the house. He can have a piece of birthday cake or some ice cream if that's what the occassion is. I let him have the occassional sips of soda when we are out as a treat. If he asks for it while we are shopping or if he sees another kid eating it, I just explain that it's not good for him (I try not to say this in front of the other kid, though). We also shop at the health food store, so it does make things easier. But like in the checkout aisle at the drugstore he often grabs the candybars, and I just explain that those aren't good for you. I would say that overall I very much limit junk food, but it's not entirely forbidden.

What I've been amazed at is that ds is very good at regulating the amount of sweets he eats. So when he is given some ice cream, sometimes he eats the whole scoop, but then other times he stops halfway through simply because he's done. So either the approach is working, or I just got lucky!

[Bearsmama]

Ditto the moderation thing around here. DH and I have sweet tooths and "bad" tooths, don't get me wrong. But we are really pretty careful about what DS eats. Nothing is really forbidden, per se, but there are things we avoid bringing into our house. He has never had candy, and I am really aware of hydro oils in things. Yes, he's had my homemade treats, and some good cookies and such from Whole Foods, but I really try to reign things in. DS eats really well and loves EVERY kind of fruit, loves yogurt and some other dairy and other good stuff. Although, he has been sick the past week and a few days he has specially requested my chocolate cake.Which I gladly served him a small slice of!

[mamawanabe]

I wonder how much control we have our our kids' eventual "sweet tooths"? My mom was definately the moderation kind. We had mostly good, healthy choices, though suger was never forbidden - we had cake on birthdays etc.

I have a MAJOR sweet tooth and lack of ability to control myself. My grandad does also (he is forever linked in my mind with jelly donuts), so I can see that it is genetic for me.

So, like much of child-rearing, the best we can sometimes hope for is to "do no harm." We don't want to create a problem with strick rules or with no rules, but we just might end up with a suger lovin' kid who, despite years of healthy training, will, when an adult and making her own choices, eat bags of licorice and hot tamalies and spice drops for dinner (as I have done more times than I can count).

[gratefulmom]

We basically dont keep sweets in the house. If they are here they are somewhat hidden from DS who is 19 months old. I dont go crazy. He does have somewhat healthy snacks, some may have some added sugar like flavored yogurt.In the food closet snacks that he can have are accessable to him, pretty much helathy. I bake with honey or maple syrup instead of sugar. I try to make his snack be somewhat healthy with some nutrients.
When we are out I try not to be obsessive as well. He eats regular cake at birthday party's. Although I dont offer it, I wait for him to ask or look like he is going for someone elses!!
My parents did not limit us, pretty much moderation. We were not allowed to add sugar to things like cereal and I still dont add sugar to things. But I do have a major sweet tooth for sugar candy. I eat less because now I am a closet sweet eater so DS doesnt see it!!! I try to let Cassidy have things that I have so not eating things like candy with him near helps him not know what it is!!

Some day I wont have control over his diet so while I do I try to be healthy about it. Also, recently I have learned that sugar has a negative effect on the immune system.

[gratefulmom]

OK, reading my above post I apologoze for the babble!!

[LunaMom]

Same here as almost everyone else.

DD is 5, we keep very few sweets in the house, and she is allowed to have about one treat a day. I haven't made a hard and fast rule about it, but because I usually say yes as long as it isn't mealtime, it just doesn't seem to be an issue for her. She'll go days without asking for anything sweet, even when we have a tupperware full of homemade cookies she helped bake.

As another poster mentioned, she knows that treats are treats and not a snack. I'm careful with language - I don't label foods as "bad" or "good," but I have explained that some foods have nutritional value and some do not, and that it is important to eat lots of different nutritious foods to stay healthy.

She's one of the best eaters I know! Even better than me and her dad...

[nancy926]

Thanks for all of the great replies! I think the idea of "treat" vs "snack" is a good one, as well as explaining about nutrition.

I also agree with the poster who wondered how much control we really have. I was allowed to eat whatever i wanted and there were always sweets in the house. We always had soda in the house when I was a kid and I hardly ever drink it now. But i have a definite "chocolate tooth". I'm kinda hoping i dont' pass this on to DD....

Thanks again!

[Suzannah]

My DD is obsessed with sugar and "sweet treats." We have them around the house, but for snacks it's fruit, cheese, nuts, etc., not junk; she is still crazy about candy!! I eat in moderation around her, as does SO, but even her daycare providers commented on how much she likes sugar. Her NaNa doesn't keep lots of junk around, either; I have no idea where this is coming from, and no idea how to stop it!!! When she wants to skip dinner and eat dessert, we tell her she has to eat the stuff that makes her grow big and strong first; candy tastes good, but it doesn't help you grow. I think that's pretty okay as far as not emphasizing one way or the other, but she still goes crazy!