What do you do when they laugh in response?

[Hokulele]

DD is testing ALL her boundaries all day long these days. She's recently picked up the idea that it is fun to laugh when asked not to do something. If she yanks at the baby, for example and I tell her to stop, she will just laugh and keep doing it until I physically remove her. And she'll still keep laughing.

For some reason this behavior enrages me! Arrgh! I can't stand when she laughs.

How do you react to this? What do you do? How does it make YOU feel when your child laughs and how do you deal with your own feelings about it?

[MammaV]

It sounds like your LO found a hot button of yours and enjoys pushing it! My kids weren't into laughing, but they sure learned about my buttons! For me, I have to take the higher ground and not get frustrated/angry. My over-reaction is often a reward for my child trying to push my buttons. "Let's get mom mad" has come out of my 4yo's mouth while conversing with my DD. I focus on redirection of the behavior and when it's not an issue, talking with the button pusher about how his actions affect others' feelings. If the button pusher is being violent or mean to a sibling - which is often the case, then the misbehavior needs to be addressed. The kids need to be separated for a while or whatever the consequence is. I have one boy who is my button pusher and line crosser. He finds it so much fun. He also loves words of affirmation. I know that I can utilize his need for positive verbal affirmation to help him make a better choice. I can tell him, "Vincent, I know you are a helpful kind boy who likes it when I recognize the kind ways you play with your sister/brother. Can you show me how you can do that now? Would you like to talk about the ways you are helpful to me and loving to your brother/sister?" By taking the trip down memory lane about the behavior I'd like him to have, we focus on the good, redirect the misbehavior and bring a sense of peace to the situation. Misbehavior doesn't turn into seeking negative attention either.

[eirual]

Ah, the laughing! It aggrivates me too....most of the time. If I don't like it and I'm feeling hot tempered I'll let him know sternly that it's not funny to me and it's making mommy angree, so please yada yada yada". If I'm feeling light-hearted enough I'd use that an oportunity to play and re-direct "oh, you think it's funny do you? I'll show you what's funny!" and proceed with complete nonsense or something of the like. The latter would obviously be the better approach. Don't underestimate the power of talking about things after the fact and brainstorming how it's going to be solved in the future.

[One_Girl]

I take a lot of deep breathes and try to focus on the behavior I want to stop as if the laughing weren't there. I remember laughing when I was a kid because that is what I did all the time not because I was trying to push my mom's buttons, I try to keep that in mind with dd. As long as dd stops she can laugh all day if she wants to.

[Storm Bride]

I lose my temper and make an ass of myself, to be honest.

I'm not coping well with the kids right now, and ds2's laughing tends to be one of the things that makes me irrational. Eventually, one of them asks me to be "nice mommy" again, and I realize how completely unreasonable I'm being. *sigh*

[bendingbirch]

I personally think that many small children laugh because they realize you are getting upset on some level but yet cannot read so many of the bodily cues and such that we take for granted when we interact with other people and they really aren't certain what is going on, what your reaction is, or how to respond.
It is hard, but trying to keep your cool really does help, and I think either humor as a diffuser or just going on as if they didn't laugh is best....Because the minute you start treating it like, "She is totally doing this to make me mad, she is pushing me, she knows what to do to drive me nuts, look at her not listening to me with that smirk on her face"....then it immediately turns into a We versus them kind of thing that doesn't help you connect or solve the problem at hand or guide our children.
I wrote a post about the battlefield we create in our minds when we deal with our children here: http://theparentingpassageway.com/20...and-parenting/

[Hokulele]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I lose my temper and make an ass of myself, to be honest.

I'm not coping well with the kids right now, and ds2's laughing tends to be one of the things that makes me irrational. Eventually, one of them asks me to be "nice mommy" again, and I realize how completely unreasonable I'm being. *sigh*

:

Me too! Exactly this. I wish it wasn't true but it is.

All the responses are helping me, though. At least it isn't just my kid who does that. I just need to learn to ignore my personal response to it.

Stay calm stay calm stay calm.

[Frida77]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I lose my temper and make an ass of myself, to be honest.

Oh this cracked me right up==! thanks so much for your honesty--

The laughing really gets me too! GRRR! My 15 month old hits and pinches and when I say "NO" very seriously he just cracks up!

I have no Zen advice, just empathy right now. I feel you, I hear you Mamas!

[Just Elsa]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I lose my temper and make an ass of myself, to be honest.

What? You mean not everyone is perfect?

Thanks for this dose of reality.

[ginadc]

Oh, thank you, Storm Bride! I needed to hear that I'm not the only one.

DD (3) does this all. the. time. Her latest is at bedtime. She keeps trying to push bedtime back and back and back (another thread altogether for Nighttime Parenting), and as I'm trying to get her to either put her pajamas on or let me do it for her, she'll make it physically very difficult and then just start giggling. I'll try to talk to her, saying "Annika, Mommy needs your help now, can you help me do this?" and she'll just keep giggling more and more and more, louder and louder, and continuing to resist any attempt to get her ready for bed. Nothing I say or do will get her to calm down and stop with the giggles.

And it is completely infuriating. And I don't handle it well. Which is something else I want to post about separately.

[mom2grrls]

DD is testing ALL her boundaries all day long these days. She's recently picked up the idea that it is fun to laugh when asked not to do something. If she yanks at the baby, for example and I tell her to stop, she will just laugh and keep doing it until I physically remove her. And she'll still keep laughing.>>>>>

Don't even say stop. Say "that hurts the baby" and remove her or the baby right then.