When the natural consequence is dangerous

[Shannie77]

DD just turned 2. She is extremely well coordinated, so lately I have started letting her do the stairs on her own. It seemed safer since she would try to climb the gates before. It has been working well... but now she is getting overly confident. DH and I ask her to go down on her bum. Our stairs have turns so this seemed to be the safest option.

So now she has started going down them on her two feet without holding on to anything.. and trying to go down as fast as possible. This morning she did it and as I called to her to stop, or get on her bum she got more excited and went faster. I caught her before she had a chance to fall but it was scary to watch. DH caught her the first 2 times, and I didn't quite believe is description until now.

Obviously I am not going to let her fall down the stairs. Both DH and I have started reminding her how to go down.. but she is only 24 months so sometimes she forgets. That said she understands a lot of "rules" and is able to follow them like walking slow on the deck of the pool, or holding hands when we cross a street.

I would really like to give her the freedom to go up and down on her own, but unless I can be sure she will be cautious I guess the gates will have to go back up. UGH.

She is definitely a daredevil. She also likes jumping from one step to the next.

Has anyone had any success helping their LO learn to go down safely. I know some mom's here don't use gates at all, or take them off quite early. What about those of you with acrobats? Any thoughts or suggestions?

When was your LO going down without holding onto a railing, on 2 feet, safely?

Thanks!

[BellinghamCrunchie]

For DD, caution and the ability to weigh the consequences (like falling) started to kick in about 3.25. Until then, we needed to keep her safe by either blocking the area or always being there to spot her.

[LynnS6]

At 24 months, she should be able to go down the stairs using her feet. I would remind her to use the handrail, but I think it's unrealistic to expect her to go down on her bum. (Unless of course, you give her an air mattress and have her do what my kids do, which is ride the air mattress down the steps!)

[TinyMama]

What about a brightly colored dot on the end of the railing, or a picture taped down to the first step (or wall) that shows her walking down the stairs holding the rail?

This would terrify me. But then again, my DD can't even climb up the stairs w/o her hands.

[Shannie77]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

At 24 months, she should be able to go down the stairs using her feet. I would remind her to use the handrail, but I think it's unrealistic to expect her to go down on her bum. (Unless of course, you give her an air mattress and have her do what my kids do, which is ride the air mattress down the steps!)

I will show this post to me DH! He doesn't even like her going down on her bum.

[BetsyNY]

I'd put the gate back up, but I'm not a natural consequences kind of gal.

[octobermom]

Umm my dare devil DD decided shs could walk up and down stairs (not sit and scoot) exactly 2 days after shs took her first steps at 8 months.. shes triped fell got up again and did it again untill she mastered them. I'm not much help am i?

Deanna

[deditus]

My dd has been doing steps herself since she was 18 months. She is not a daredevil, though, and will only ever do things she feels safe doing without getting hurt.

[krystyn33]

Originally Posted by BetsyNY

I'd put the gate back up, but I'm not a natural consequences kind of gal.

Me too. If DS could not walk down stairs safely without my direct supervision they would be blocked off until he was ready. We would practice and talk about being safe on the stairs in the meantime.

[boigrrrlwonder]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

At 24 months, she should be able to go down the stairs using her feet. I would remind her to use the handrail, but I think it's unrealistic to expect her to go down on her bum.

This. Unless you go down the stairs on your bum. Even though the stairs to our second floor apartment are curvy, my DD has gone down stairs using her feet since she started walk at 9 months. And I still go with her, because she, too, likes to play on the stairs. (Currently she always wants to take "big giant steps!" down the stairs )

Still, I strongly believe in logical consequences (such as using gates to block access to the stairs) because sometimes the natural consequence can be dangerous.

[LaughingHyena]

DS is 2 1/2 and can't walk down the stairs unless he is holding our hands. I think with a different handrail he would be fine though.

We taught both children to turn round and crawl backwards down the stairs, they both did that from about 18 months. They treat coming down on your bottom like sliding and do sometimes do it for fun.

For us having the gate up seemed to make the stairs more exciting, something to race to if you see the gate open. DD got bored pretty quickly once we took it down.

[4inMyHeart3inArms]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

At 24 months, she should be able to go down the stairs using her feet. I would remind her to use the handrail, but I think it's unrealistic to expect her to go down on her bum. (Unless of course, you give her an air mattress and have her do what my kids do, which is ride the air mattress down the steps!)

this is what I was going to say. My daughter was using the stairs before she could walk (crawling up them, with supervision of course) but by time she was 2 she was up and down those steps on her own even if I was in another room it did not bother me. Around 18 months I was still a bit nervous but by 2 she had had many months to show me she was capable, I think the sliding on the bum idea is just begging for turning going down the stairs into a game though, so we've never used that.

[EviesMom]

I have a 20 mo old who does this too. He's decided butt scoot is too hard (the stair edge is sharp so if his shirt rides up, this method scratches his back and he comes to show me and say "Ow!") so he wants to walk. But he doesn't look where he's going. So far we say he can only go with a grown up and DH or I spot the coming down. I don't worry too much about the up (as long as I get there before he's coming back down I'm okay with that,) but DH bolts like lightning to get there immediately.

I kind of like him working on it now, bc DD didn't fet good at them until she was 2 1/2 to 3 and that was kind of a pain. More opinionated, less willing to take direction/help. I also plan to put some stair carpet down for a year or so to cushion any slips and give more traction (wood stairs can be slippy). Carpet won't prevent injury from an outright fall, but I remember DD doing some minor slips and this might help that.

[Snuzzmom]

I'd put the gate back up and try again in a month or so.

[OGirlieMama]

Originally Posted by BetsyNY

I'd put the gate back up, but I'm not a natural consequences kind of gal.

Ditto. We still have gates at the top and bottom of the stairs at 3.5 years old. My kids are totally capable of doing the steps safely, but they get really crazy when they are together and ignore all safety guidelines in the midst of their play, so I don't feel that letting them have complete access to a deathtrap (13 steep wooden steps with the front door 3 feet from the bottom of them) is a good idea for us!