yeah.. it is hard for me too.. I keep revisiting the issue
because my child need to socialize and yet in my area
I have no luck of finding anyone like minded and
so it is hard..
I am trying to make it for the sake of little one
so she can play with other kids but
every few minutes I bump into something that
I can't say because I know what reaction it would
bring or I try really hard not to comment on
something the other mama says and I am
split between internal emotional throw up.. eye roll
or just run away syndromme..
I stick there through the play date, I try to
keep conversation on very impersonal level
and it is hard.. as it is just hard because it is not me
and petending all the time is just a mental struggle
that leaves me crawling mentally and recovering
after each and every meeting.
It is unhealthy on some level that I am sure because
it is supposed to be an opportunity to socialize for
moms as well as kids but
after so many trials I just see that as finding new
friend for myself is not easy for obvious reason
as nobody can be friend with just first better person
here we are dealing with a case of trying to make
friendship with someone who is just a potential
because he has kid of our age.. so
now the kid's compability kicks in and that makes
it double hard.
so now I have to deal with the issue of my incopatibility
with other mama and my kid compatibility or incompatibility
with her peer..
having such a difficulty so far I decied that if I will stay
away from people just because they have different parenting
views will leave my child friendless and social less and
that is bad too..
so I am trying to do little steps in just closing my soul
to the ideas and treat them as they are coming from tv or
whatever and try not to comment on anything and keep
my things to me.
It is just tough. I can only tell you that I tried it all
- avoid all people as I was sick after few tryings..
bad just as anything because soon I felt that my child
was not having any kids to play with except accidental
playground stranger kids..
- meeting the other parents who think CIO and formula and stuff... and trying to explain my points of views
and discuss theirs (don't ever go there as this is best
and fastest way to end things and leave you with bad taste..
but of course do what you want.
- then finally I did this.. prepare to be amused:
so.. I meet this couple in a bookstore.. super nice sweet
she is a doctor, he is a IT whatever.. and so we both
love them and her kiddo is playing so nice with my
both love the experience.. the parents beg us to
meet again, exchange contacts.. I email her and knowing
she is a OBGYN I think.. hm.. she is a doctor she has a child
she will understand natural parenting..
so I write nice heart warming and inviting email to her
and do the "btw.. I still nurse my 3.5 year old and I hope
it is okay with you and I only say it to you since
we were to meet blah blah blah.. and since you are
doctor etc... etc.. etc... "..
guess what.. NEVER HEARD FROM them again!!!
: good riddence I say.. I tried that one too so now I know
that I don't need to worry what would happen if I ever would
totally open with other parent to my ways upfront..
so now no more wondering.. I know. Knowledge is power ha ha ha..
so now I realize that the older kids get the easier it is as
there is less and less things that are controversial..
of course new are coming but at least the many things
of early childhood are not the topic of discussion anymore
so we are good in those areas.. and the rest is less
and I am getting bit emotionally stronger per getting more sleep
and my hormons stablizing due to more stabilized nursing habits
of my little one so I can take crap bit easier..
yeah.. it is a lot to do of how well you can handle the crap.
I am sure some day I will meet more mind like parents but now
it is just hard for we really have very limited geographical pareameters
for finding someone and we live in area that is running on
speed and any baby who does not support the idea of
parental career advancement by utilizing CIO to allow faster
and artificial STTN or won't take formula on voluntary basis
will be forced to do so at "bottle point" (as in at gun point).
so.. here we are.. just had two non like moms meetings in last two days,
I feel exhosted but I look at my daughter and she is so happy
she met her friends, she had lots of fun, she could run together, draw together, talk together, slide together..
and for them all that stuff does not matter so I am going
to put up thorought this till God will smile upon us and send
us some person who will be tru friend and will be equally
happy to hang out with us as we will be..
till then.. just like convenience marriage based on
mutual momentarly need rather then love.. we wil play pretend with
that other parents and divorce when we will get sick of it and can't do it anymore.
thanks for venting at the same time as answering your post.