TO me that is just not a good reason/rationalization to say "everyone told her it was safe so why wouldn't she think it was"?
No body told me how to be a mom. Nobody told me that when my child cries it might be a good idea to go to them, soothe them, pick them up etc. That is just natural. It is unnatural to ignore a crying baby. She would have to go against instinct IMO to do that. Why would you do what others told you to do anyway?
Plus, she could know it was bad if you told her it was. Just a thought, I know sometimes it doesn't help to tell people things.
It is difficult to get past the societal push toward the easier, more convenient way. It's the American way. You go with the crowd unless you do tons of reading and research or have been lucky enough to have been shown another way. The same holds true for formula feeding. It is in your face and waved as the dangling carrot that beckons "This is the easy way and it's still good for your baby. Everyone does it and their babies turn out fine." Then, boom, a few bumps in the road and good-bye nursing, hello formula. For those who have trouble, they have to be very committed to BF to overcome this attitude. I know that I was SO tempted to throw in the towel, but I was lucky. I have a best friend who BF and drove over 200 miles to be with me and help me get started. She was also a big influence on me b/c I knew she struggled with being the only one around who didn't CIO.
I luckily choose the Dr. Sears Baby Book to read while I was pregnant. If I hadn't read that book I don't know exactly where I'd be.
So I guess all I'm saying is that if you try to follow your natural instincts it's an uphill battle all the way.