best book advice please!!!!!

[mom61508]

Ok mammas,
DD is almost a year old and she's starting to give some serious "tude" !!
So my question is what's the book on gentle discipline for a 1 year old and beyond?
I'm not sure how to handle it when I take something away and she gets upset??? Or when she's getting into EVERYTHING: she shouldn't be into

Book suggestions???
Advice???
Thanks ~Jada

[hennaLisa]

I need the same thing!

There are too many books and I have too little time. My son is 14 months old and throws temper tantrums (with hitting and screaming included) when he doesn't get his way. I need the best book, and preferably one that gets to the point right away. Maybe we could just electronically transfer the info into my brain.:

[frontierpsych]

I'm a fan of Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

[guestmama9972]

There is a sticky in this forum of good books. I haven't looked at it in a long time but that might be a good place to start.

I read lots of parenting books that covered the whole spectrum of GD and more conventional/common parenting styles. I enjoyed the overview and was able to glean good ideas from several books.

This forum has helped me get a grasp on what GD entails, even though I lurk way more than I post. Reading here often should help out a lot. There are some wise mothers on these boards.

Good luck!

[BetsyNY]

Unconditional Parenting is, by far, the best parenting book I've ever read.

But it's not going to tell you how to discipline a one-year-old, gently or otherwise. So if that's what you're looking for, it's not the book for you. Most of the stuff you're talking about is developmental--my suggestion is when you have to take something away, replace with something that's OK to have. Comfort her, distract her.

The getting into stuff, you just have to baby proof really well. Or you're just setting yourself up for a WORLD of frustration.

[mom61508]

thanks all!!! I did look thru the sticky but it was very overwhelming!!!

[MammaV]

I don't know about the best book. I read ever so many, both mainstream and GD and have found a GD parenting style that is my own. It's good to remember that your LO doesn't have the skills to deal with whatever without the temper tantrum. Tantrums are a normal part of development. My goal as a parent is to give my kids the skills to deal with their emotions, setbacks and dissapoinments. By teaching them other skill sets, the tantrums and outbursts go away. Use your words, use your safe place for anger/sadness outbursts (their room, my lap).
As for general 'tude. My goal is to instill in my kids that we are kind to one another and respect ourselves and others. It takes a long time to teach that and modeling behavior is very effective. So is talking with them when the behavior isn't an issue. If you're getting some sassing, talk about sassing when it's not occurring. Talk about appropriate ways to put in requests or voice an opinion. If she's screaming at you because she wants a cracker, show her the sign for please. Sign language is great for kids her age. It helps get rid of a lot of communication frustration.
Exploring her world is an important part of development. Put things away that could cause her harm and have a distraction plan ready. It's normal to get upset when something is taken away. Tell her why you need to have it and get her something else quick as a wink. Something for her that's really tempting. Distraction works wonders!

[kristentm]

Discipline Cheat Sheet

I had been looking for the same thing and bought several books, the best of which is "How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen And Listen So Your Kids Will Talk". And although that book has some great advice to be applied even for toddlers, I have found that the best source for a quick read and some simple answers to common issues is the DrSears.com website. His section on discipline is a nice overview and has some good suggestions for dealing with some of the issues I am starting to contend with with my 11 month DS.

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by MammaV

I don't know about the best book. I read ever so many, both mainstream and GD and have found a GD parenting style that is my own. It's good to remember that your LO doesn't have the skills to deal with whatever without the temper tantrum. Tantrums are a normal part of development. My goal as a parent is to give my kids the skills to deal with their emotions, setbacks and dissapoinments. By teaching them other skill sets, the tantrums and outbursts go away. Use your words, use your safe place for anger/sadness outbursts (their room, my lap).
As for general 'tude. My goal is to instill in my kids that we are kind to one another and respect ourselves and others. It takes a long time to teach that and modeling behavior is very effective. So is talking with them when the behavior isn't an issue. If you're getting some sassing, talk about sassing when it's not occurring. Talk about appropriate ways to put in requests or voice an opinion. If she's screaming at you because she wants a cracker, show her the sign for please. Sign language is great for kids her age. It helps get rid of a lot of communication frustration.
Exploring her world is an important part of development. Put things away that could cause her harm and have a distraction plan ready. It's normal to get upset when something is taken away. Tell her why you need to have it and get her something else quick as a wink. Something for her that's really tempting. Distraction works wonders!

thank you! yes we are doing signs they have been helpful