You don't have to use "black" hair products at all. Coconut oil is the best! I use it on my hair (A-A) and my DD's(AA/Hispanic) hair. No other product found in a hair store has worked so well. I use it daily on dry hair. Other great oils that can be found at the health food store are: Sweet Almond Oil and Jojoba Oil, I still prefer coconut oil and it's the cheapest.
I would also make sure to stay away from products that have alcohols, mineral oil and petroleum in it. Some "non-black" hair products can strip the hair of moisture so you do have to be careful, but not all "black" marketed products are healthy for our hair either. Just make sure to use moisturizing shampoo and moisturizing conditioner. That's more important than if it's marketed for AA hair.
A GREAT leave-in conditioner is NTM Silk Touch Leave-in conditioner. Also V05 conditioner is excellent for after shampooing. If hair is hard to comb daily, use a deep conditioner after shampooing. leave in hair and put on a plastic cap for about 30 min, then rinse and apply leave-in. Always detangle hair before it's allowed to dry.
You can wash hair as often as necessary as long as you are sure to replenish the moisture afterwards. Do not leave sand or food in the hair because it hasn't been a week yet. You don't need to use shampoo each time as long as you are sure to use conditioner each time. It's called co-washing. You use the conditioner in place of the shampoo, it's not as drying as shampoo but will still remove dirt.
I know you probably will receive tons of conflicting information.
A wealth of info can be found at longhaircareforum. There are people there with many different types of hair and you can see what different products work best for them. All AA or biracial hair is not the same. There is also a forum for children's hair care.
My DD's wash routine. Always use a wide-tooth comb for detangling such as the Jibere shower comb.
Comb through hair so that there are no tangles.
Wet hair, use a moisturizing shampoo-Just for Me, Herbal Essences Hello Hydration, VO5 Moisturizing Milk, etc
Rinse, apply shampoo again, rinse
Apply deep conditioner-LeKair,etc. comb through apply plastic cap for 30min
Sometimes, I skip the deep conditioning and just apply regular moisturizing conditioner-same brands as above, comb through, wait a few minutes and rinse
Comb through again and apply leave-in conditioner. Allow to air dry and then style with coconut oil into ponytails. I always twist or braid hair to the bottom if hair is long.http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p...diapers002.jpg
Daily I apply coconut oil or another oil or cream (such as shea butter) to dry hair and then style. Sometimes a little water or detangler is used to tame the fly aways.
I have a recommendation for a great line of products I recently discovered that worked miracles on my DD's and my hair. PM if you want to the info.