OMG the mellodrama

[JamesMama]

From my 4 y/o.

How do I deal with this...

Case in point say he dribbles his water/juice/chocolate milk down his front here would be the unfolding

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT MY SHIRT ALL DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S ALL DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT IT TO BE DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW IT WILL BE DIRTY FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **throw hands over face** "MY FAVORITE SHIRT IS ALL DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! !!"

Or DD flips the switch that controls the TV plug (ya know, there's supposed to be a lamp or something there but we put the TV there)

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! THE TV SHUT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALDRIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAMA THE TV IS BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S BROKEN FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **hands over face** "I WILL MISS MY FAVORITE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!"

this could be because of ANYTHING that goes even remotely wrong in his life. DD moves a car, I move a toy, Aldria gets one of his books (off the shelf, not that he's reading). It's getting VERY old VERY fast. We go through this SCREAMING melodramatics overreaction at least 3+ times a day over the dumbest stuff. It's beyond whining and into the realm of complete and total pitch fit because he got 3 little drops of water on his t-shirt.

If it's a TV/video game issue I tell him if he's going to react this badly over the TELEVISION or the computer then he is not going to watch/play them because it's just the television/game. I don't want him turning into my brothers he once got so upset because DH told him his computer time was up he almost made himself throw up.

If it's something else minor I try my best to calm him down...tell him that it's okay. He'll dry/there is more water,juice. Whatever....but he gets SO worked up.

I'm at my wits end. DH's grandparents tell us that one of their kids did this and they had to slap them across the face to get them to chill.

[jlovesl]

Oh I feel for you. Although my lo is not at the age to be that sensitive YET! But I do know someone whose little girl acts like she's dying in pain for every little bump or scrap. To the point of hysterics that people look and actually think this kid is seriously injured. Really, so bad you almost feel like you need to smack her to settle her down. And of course before I get bashed she has never been hit for acting like this. They had tried ignoring her, comforting her etc etc...she is now 9 and still does this. I think some kids are just overly sensitive and I'm not sure if there is much you can do. If it's spills on his shirts maybe one of those Tide To Go pens so he can clean it up himself will help.Keep his mind off the actual spill????And change his mind direction before you shut the computer down. Like lets go play outside for a half an hour before bed, or read a book etc etc.....Good Luck. I know I wasn't helpful but just to let you know your not alone in this kind of situation.

[LynnS6]

Yep, I've got one of those. It gets old REALLY fast.

Here's what I've done that sort of works:
Ala "How to talk so your children will listen..." I reflect back what I think she's feeling. "You're upset because your shirt got wet." "Oh, you think it's going to take a long time to dry." "You don't want to change into a new shirt." "You don't like being wet."

I DON'T try to "fix" it or try to tell her that life will go on in the initial minutes of the 'tragedy'. She's not receptive to that and it just seems to make her madder.

I offer a hug, if I can. Sometimes she'll sit on my lap and snuggle and be OK. Sometimes not.

If a hug doesn't help, I ask her to go up to her room. OK, sometimes I CARRY her to her room. But after 5-10 minutes of wailing, I'm done. I've got very low tolerance for lots of noise (it's a sensory thing for me). And if we're screaming because a ladybug flew away, really, there is NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT!

When I see she's winding down, I might work on a solution with her: "So, what do you think we can do?" "I dunno." "Hmm... well, we coudl wear a wet shirt or get a new one. Or you could just not wear a shirt." Or I'll make a joke (ala Playful Parenting) "do I need to call an ambulance?" "You think you'll have to go naked until we get this shirt washed and dried?" "It's just awful that you don't have ANY more shirts to wear. I'm sooooo sad for my little girl."

I need to re-read:
Raising Your Spirited Child
Kids, Parents & Power Struggles
Sleepless in America
and probably a few other books.

I know that MY getting upset does not help, even though sometimes I can't stop myself. What dd apparently needs is for me to be the rock that she dashes herself against. If I can maintain calm, life is better faster. I failed at this AM when I was struggling to get her dressed. She went upstairs, threw herself on her bed and began sobbing for her brother (because mom and dad were both at their wits' end, and he was the only sympathetic figure left -- now he was at school, so it was no help, but that gives insight into how she was feeling).

Oh, and I also know that this tendency is worse when she's stressed, tired or hungry. We had a major meltdown over something really stupid 10 minutes after her brother left for a friend's birthday party. So very often the tantrums over little things aren't over the little things, they're over something else.

[MammaV]

I'm giggling because I was the child who over reacted. I still speak in exclamation points. I think that playing your way through it is helpful. Have a loud crying contest. Who can wail the loudest over spilled milk. Pretend the shirt will need a funeral. Going overboard on the playful pretend side can be very distracting and get the subject moved out of melodrama to laughter and solutions quickly. Now, it doesn't always work, but when it does, it's golden...