Originally Posted by sisteeesmama
How do you handle this?
We do Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. We don't
do "if you're not good, Santa won't bring you anything" (Santa only does a small gift, and the stockings, anyway). We won't continue to lie about it, once they're past the point where "what do you think?" doesn't cut it. IME, when a kid is ready, they'll say so, one way or the other.
|What is your reason for doing it or not?
Basically, because it was such a hugely wonderful part of my own childhood, and I want to pass it on.
It's going okay. I am actually a little worried about dd. I'm not sure how she's going to handle the truth. I'd tell her now, but ime, kids seem to do best when they find out somewhere around age 8. Younger, and they're more likely to be really hurt about the lying, and kind of confused. Older, and they're more likely to feel that they've been played for fools.
DS1 is 16. He's obviously in on it, and figured it out at either 7 or 8. I think
it was just after he turned 8.
|What did your parents do?
My parents did things the same way I do...pretended Santa and the rest were real, but didn't really push it, and didn't use them for behavioural modification.
|How did that affect your choices?
I'm doing things almost exactly the same way, so I'd say it affected my choices a lot.
I won't say this isn't lying, because it obviously is. It's the only time I've lied to my kids (aside from maybe "mommy and daddy were cuddling/taking a nap" when we were doing a lot more than that) and it does feel a bit weird, but I did love it so much. As I said above, my only reservations, ever, have been about dd. Just this last Christmas, I started wondering how she's going to take it, because she seems to be convinced on a much deeper level than most kids I've known. We'll see how the next couple years go. I am being less careful about hiding our tracks, as I hope that letting some little things show will begin to clue her in more gently. (For example, I used to downplay how much time I spent Christmas shopping, because so much of it is for stockings, and she'd wonder why I spent so much time to buy so few things. I don't do that, anymore. We put some Christmas-themed pencils in their stockings - and the rest of the pack appeared on dh's dresser a few months later. Things like that are more loose now.)
I'll continue the way we've gone, as I don't want to spring this on dd or ds2 before they're ready...but I do kind of wish, in light of dd's personality, that I'd skipped it with my little ones. I'm hoping I'm wrong, and dd takes it as well as ds1 did. He was just like me - loved that I'd put so much effort into "creating" Santa for him, and really appreciative of all the fun he'd had with it. We'll see how dd takes it.