Well she has been doing most of the parenting. As tempting as it was for me to “take over” I resisted with all my might. Even though she was only 16 I knew that it would take something really important away from her to not be the “mom”. I have stayed in a “support” role as much as I can. She makes the decisions and if she wants to go somewhere she asks if I (or dh) will keep an eye on him. And really she doesn’t go out that much, she does not act like a teenager, she never really did. She doesn’t have like a group of friends that goes and does the mall thing or anything like that. It’s just that sometimes she needs time to herself just out with a friend or her boyfriend. She is the one who makes the decisions for and about her son and she does her share of the housework.
At home dgs follows dh around whatever he is doing. He loves grandpa and grandpa loves him so it makes getting his chores done difficult and getting any time alone for him is a challenge too. He doesn’t really say anything to dd and then gets resentful over all the care he is giving to dgs. Not that he doesn’t enjoy it but it gets to be all day every day sometimes.. I am not really sure what the solution to that is. If dh is not around then it’s me he follows.
So anyway I am just saying that she does have life skills and she is most defiantly the mom in the equation … its more like if she were a stay at home mom and dh and I are the “dad”. She has her driving permit now and will have her license soon and I think that is going to add to her independence a great deal. I think part of the problem is her self confidence is low and she does not see how she can get out there and make things happen for herself. Her brother does it and he is only 16. So I am not sure exactly what it is in her that does not think she can do it.
At home dgs follows dh around whatever he is doing. He loves grandpa and grandpa loves him so it makes getting his chores done difficult and getting any time alone for him is a challenge too. He doesn’t really say anything to dd and then gets resentful over all the care he is giving to dgs. Not that he doesn’t enjoy it but it gets to be all day every day sometimes.. I am not really sure what the solution to that is. If dh is not around then it’s me he follows.
So anyway I am just saying that she does have life skills and she is most defiantly the mom in the equation … its more like if she were a stay at home mom and dh and I are the “dad”. She has her driving permit now and will have her license soon and I think that is going to add to her independence a great deal. I think part of the problem is her self confidence is low and she does not see how she can get out there and make things happen for herself. Her brother does it and he is only 16. So I am not sure exactly what it is in her that does not think she can do it.
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