why should it be gravy?
I was completely UNprotected for years when I stayed at home with my daughter while my ex went to school and worked his apprenticeship. I had zero income, nothing going into my social security or personal savings, nothing. I assumed a lot of extra risk and, well, work that benefitted him for years. Why should his helping provide for his child now be "gravy"? I can't make nearly as much as he can for the above reasons. He can darn well do what he's supposed to do now, until I finish school and can support myself like he supports himself. It's his turn.
DP is a custodial dad, and we do not receive CS. If we relied on it, who would pay for DSD's lunches? Who would take care of dental bills? We made a decision not to rely on it early on, it just didn't seem like she would live up to this responsibility.
It does help, even as we struggle through unemployment, not to expect mom to come through on the payments. It's just DP and I against the world.
And I know it might sound silly, but I do feel grateful that DSD's mom began to pick up her daughter, even if it took her a year to start doing it. And I do feel grateful that she agreed to split the cost for a big school trip, as even if the payments are spread out, it would be a bit tough on us, and we really want to give this experience to her. (now, mom already missed a payment, and we just started... but hey! I do kind of hope she'll eventually fulfill her promise, as she made it directly to DSD).