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"You should be grateful!" - Page 2

post #21 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverWillow View Post
why should it be gravy?

I was completely UNprotected for years when I stayed at home with my daughter while my ex went to school and worked his apprenticeship. I had zero income, nothing going into my social security or personal savings, nothing. I assumed a lot of extra risk and, well, work that benefitted him for years. Why should his helping provide for his child now be "gravy"? I can't make nearly as much as he can for the above reasons. He can darn well do what he's supposed to do now, until I finish school and can support myself like he supports himself. It's his turn.
I think sparklefairy meant that one shouldn't rely on CS because it doesn't come to everyone. "Should" and "does" don't always go hand in hand.

DP is a custodial dad, and we do not receive CS. If we relied on it, who would pay for DSD's lunches? Who would take care of dental bills? We made a decision not to rely on it early on, it just didn't seem like she would live up to this responsibility.

It does help, even as we struggle through unemployment, not to expect mom to come through on the payments. It's just DP and I against the world.

And I know it might sound silly, but I do feel grateful that DSD's mom began to pick up her daughter, even if it took her a year to start doing it. And I do feel grateful that she agreed to split the cost for a big school trip, as even if the payments are spread out, it would be a bit tough on us, and we really want to give this experience to her. (now, mom already missed a payment, and we just started... but hey! I do kind of hope she'll eventually fulfill her promise, as she made it directly to DSD).
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunflowers View Post
I agree with every post here. I hate the fact that a CP should be grateful that a NCP bothers to acknowledge their children at all. It's so crazy.
That drives me crazy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunflowers View Post
It did make me ponder if the NCPs ever hear how grateful THEY should be that the CP raises their children. Probably not too often.
No, actually, what my Hubby and I hear is more along the lines of "Oh, you're so lucky she (stepdaughter's Mother) lets you see her so much!". Ummm... HELLO! My Hubby is her FATHER! Why shouldn't he get to see her so much? (And "so much" is really hardly anything at all- 8 days a month.)
post #23 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I think sparklefairy meant that one shouldn't rely on CS because it doesn't come to everyone. "Should" and "does" don't always go hand in hand.

DP is a custodial dad, and we do not receive CS. If we relied on it, who would pay for DSD's lunches? Who would take care of dental bills? We made a decision not to rely on it early on, it just didn't seem like she would live up to this responsibility.

It does help, even as we struggle through unemployment, not to expect mom to come through on the payments. It's just DP and I against the world.

And I know it might sound silly, but I do feel grateful that DSD's mom began to pick up her daughter, even if it took her a year to start doing it. And I do feel grateful that she agreed to split the cost for a big school trip, as even if the payments are spread out, it would be a bit tough on us, and we really want to give this experience to her. (now, mom already missed a payment, and we just started... but hey! I do kind of hope she'll eventually fulfill her promise, as she made it directly to DSD).
Yeah, we're in the same boat. We lowered our expectations a long time ago! Or should I say, removed our expectations?

I was told once that I should be grateful that my kids other parent bought some crazy ass huge house so they would have a nicer place than our home to visit. All the while we are struggling to pay the mortgage. Uh huh. Soooo grateful. :
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