I know I yell more and louder because I feel this physical need to do something and in order to not do something (like break, smash or hit someone) I get louder to overrule that side. Well someone here suggested they do pushups to get that urge out and I think I'm going to try that. I need the physical thrust, and truly I am really bad at pushups, so I will try this.
I also like the idea of suddenly whispering. That stirs things up a bit, I"m sure. I bet it would work with the girls.
One thing I used to do with my oldest DSD and now am realizing I need to do with DSS is shift it into humor. Like take whatever it is that they're saying/doing that's ticking me off so much and flip it on it's ear and laugh my way out of it. That was golden with the oldest. Worked. every. time. And we had some really rough times. I need to remember it with DSS, he's 10 now and starting into that territory of just doing enough to sort of but not, but really actually cross a line, but then responding with the mock-innocent "what did I say/do" because he didn't exactly say/do anything, but was there on the threshold or did just enough to do such a thing without doing it. Nothing ticks me off more than that, and I react to that stuff the most strongly. So I have to remember to flip on it's ear. Seriously, if I could do a headstand to remind myself, I would.
Thank you mommas for this thread. And keep the ideas coming.