DD1 was 26 months old when dd2 arrived... we did a sort of "big sister" party but she was a bit too young to really "get" what was happening. (I mean, she would tell you all about the baby on the way and her role as a big sister, but she didn't really "get" what it all meant) It was still a fun BBQ and gathering and a nice way to fill time before the new babe arrived.
The thing that helped the most was a big sister basket of goodies that her younger sister "gave" her after the birth. It included a small doll house and a few dolls, a play silk, some new DVDs, a few of her favorite foods etc. Basically quiet toys/activities that she could do while I nursed (we tandem nursed, but dd2 had dibs) and things that the baby "couldn't" use... we didn't want to play up the "big sister" title or the "big kid" label but we did want her to experience special things she could do and enjoy that the baby couldn't.
We're planning on doing something similar this time, only we'll have two baskets. One for DD1 and one for DD2. DD2 will also be 26 months when this babe arrives but she is a lot less verbal than dd1 was at the same age, and she has some special needs that may make this a very tough transition for her. So I'm hoping the basket will help her identify those "big sister" things she can do that the baby can't. And she is very much into role play so both girls will be getting slings, dipes, and baby care items for their dolls. ALong with new DVDs, special foods, coloring supplies, and other quiet toys.
Park Ritual- I love the idea of having the older "big brothers" model the role! You're right that a 3yo may not get the big picture, but perhaps have each of the older brothers write a letter or note about being a big brother? Then your little one could keep those and listen to them/read them over time. And maybe a special shirt or outfit for him to wear after the babe arrives? The other brothers could perhaps make the shirt with fabric paint and handprints or something like that.... maybe even a special certificate with all their handprints and then his handprint added after the babe arrives?
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There are ten months between my dad and his next sib, and that slightly younger brother has always been upset with how his "big brother" got X Y or Z and he didn't (my dad has a baby's first year type book, his brother doesn't. My dad got to do silly "baby" things like a picture with Santa while his brother didn't. etc). I realized that we had tons of pictures of dd1 (I mean a 300 photo album for almost every month in her first year) but there was no way we'd be taking that many pictures of dd2 since we'd already been scaling back! So I made a 300 picture album of "DD1's First Year" and completed a baby's first year sort of journal (a page per week just recording what was going on in dd1's life) and then when dd2 arrived I did the same thing.... a 300 picture album of the first year and a weekly journal. I'm planning the same thing for this babe. It's not perfect, but it's one thing they'll never be able to point a finger at (mom/dad did x for you but not for me!). And the journal has been really helpful to me since I can actually look back and see "when" one of the girls did something or "what" was going on during a specific period of time.
I know you're looking at the situation from the other side (older sib not happy with younger) but it may be worth trying something like this too.
And involving big sib in as much baby care as possible is a good idea too... I know dd1 thought of dd2 as "her" baby for a looooooong time!
I'm hoping that the extra doll items will involved dd1 and dd2 even when they can't be totally hands on with the babe.
