Quick advice needed-2 kids-2 swollen noses!!

[menudo]

Ok. DS is 2 and DD is 6. They can be brutal to each other. Of course the 2 yo bounces back in seconds but my DD is sensitive and bruises fast. So tonight DD accidently (really this time!) knocked him down-he smashed his nose into the hard floor-it is swollen and scratched-right in the front. He is fine. But when I was doing dishes he walked into his sisters room and CRACkED her in the nose-between the EYES-with an object yet unknown. It is SWOLLEN bigtime and looks like it will bruise. She has ice on it and I put on arnica gel.

Anyway, she goes to public school. As mentioned she is an easy bruiser and about 2 months ago her sweet lil brother : hit her in the forehead with a wooden kids chair and left a long lasting bruise. He has left several others on occasion. Of course-she got a few on him once or twice and he barely gets scratch for a day. She is also alot paler-olivish skin tone and has some natural "bruisey" looking tones to her. DS is light brown. I am nervous about sending her to school now!! She tells her teacher about her brother but I worry they question her. In preschool she often got hurt BUT the injuries often occured in school or public places (she had several black eyes from a fall-and no lie-walking into car rear view mirrors in parking lots!! Talk about drawing a crowd!! The KLUTZ gene from Mama!! ) Should I send a note? I can't take her myself but am soon to have a meeting with the teacher as DD is struggling, I already feel they think we are uncaring parents and the know we are poor, and I can't make it to most school functions. Her school is relatively upper middle class-lotsa SAHM- and even more snooty people!!

What to do?!?!

[chellemarie]

I'd send her to school. If it makes you feel better (and if she looks pretty rough in the morning), send a note. "Kids were playing rough - guess who lost?! Looking forward to seeing you <insert meeting date here>."

Whatever you do, don't keep her home. If you keep her home today and send her in with a fading bruise, THAT looks suspicious.

Just my two cents.

[MamaBug]

Oh how I feel your pain. I have two boys and when they battle, which thankfully is not often, they often have the scars to prove it. I would send a note and explain. I would also def talk to the teacher when you have the meeting. I would hope that at 6 your dd is telling them the facts and that they believe her. I mean some kids are just clumsy, my youngest is covered with bruises half the time and I have no idea where the heck he got them. He is constantly falling or bumping into things.

I would also have a talk with your dd about how she needs to not get into these kinds of confrontations with her brother as a) he is much younger and she might seriously hurt him, and b) that SHE is often the one getting hurt and her brother does not understand yet not to fight. I tell my oldest that since he is older he understands more not to fight and that if his brother hurts him or looks like he is going to that he should come to me before hitting back. Lately he is finally doing this and it is saving on the cuts and bruises.

Good luck, this too shall pass. I hope her nose looks better in the am!

[menudo]

Thanks! She went to school but the bruise is WORSE tonight! Oh well!

Also it is the 2yo who starts the fights-ugh!!!

[Suzetta]

Depending on yourv state laws, the school my be required to report it. In *real* cases of abuse we always get a cover story, but rarely believe it. You would bed best off, IMO, to take her in and discuss it with the principal or teacher.

Also...maybe you can look into ways to teach your kids to be gentler with on another. My brothers were terribly abusive towards me, and my parents never did much to help me. It wreaked havoc on my self esteem.

[lilyka]

I feel your pain./ Fortunately we don't have to deal with public schoos. However right after Ava was born my 2 1/2 year old was being especially feisty. her and Madeline (my older is by far the more sensitive on where as lilyka is a die fighting kind of girl) sand Lilyka knows how sensitive Madeline and there for responds to that, unfortunately. So it got out of hand one day and Lily chucked a block and hit madeline square between the eyes. A large, double unit block. It looked like it needed stitches and t was right between the eyes so in we went with the offending child and the offending block. turned out to be a gouge and needed no stitches but I was still scared she would never believe me. She ended up giving Lily a stren warning about the dangers of throwing blockls. She is extremely shy with strangers and this nearly sent her over the edge. (it was a very gentle but firm lecture) We haven't had that sort of problem sense.