nak
so, i have ppd, and i'm on lexapro for it. i think my dh has ppd, too, but he won't seek help. he says he's not depressed, but he's angry all the time, hates his job, misses having undivided attention from me, generally withdrawn. he is just as sleep-deprived as i am.
i am concerned about his anger. i know he would never hurt me or our ds but he does get really frustrated/angry for example when our son won't go to sleep. (long story short -- we were bed-sharing, but having a wiggly, restless baby in my armpit all night was really wearing on me and i wasn't getting any sleep whatsoever, so we moved him to his crib, and dh and i alternate who gets up with him when he wakes in the night, which is usually every 2 hours, sometimes if we are extremely blessed, we'll get a 4-5 hour stretch in there. this is extremely rare, however.) example: my dh will go in to ds's room, rock him back to sleep. sometimes though ds wakes up repeatedly as soon as we put him down, so it takes a while sometimes. and sometimes i think my dh is a little too impatient and doesn't wait until ds is in deep enough sleep. dh will get extremely frustrated/angry, cuss under his breath, etc. i have asked him to stop, asked him if we would say those things to our son if he were 4 and he knew he understood him, etc, but he keeps doing it even though he admits he knows it is bad.
i really think dh is depressed, and it is manifesting itself in anger. he has been depressed before and that was also how it manifested. what do i do? how do i get him to seek help? i worry about the relationship between my dh and ds and how his anger/resentment will play out as ds gets older. ds is a sweet kid, but definitely high-needs and he can be quite draining. my dh has commented that he doesn't understand why ds can't be like other babies, why he won't sleep, etc. i have asked him, are you going to be disappointed in him when he doesn't want to play t-ball when he is 5? i want him to resolve these issues now before they become a huge barrier in their father-son relationship.
i just don't know what to do. i want to help dh be happy again. it's hard when i too am struggling with sleep-deprivation and ppd. it's hard for me to have to calm dh down AND put the baby back to sleep all the time because dh has a meltdown. sometimes i feel like i have two babies to calm down.
so, i have ppd, and i'm on lexapro for it. i think my dh has ppd, too, but he won't seek help. he says he's not depressed, but he's angry all the time, hates his job, misses having undivided attention from me, generally withdrawn. he is just as sleep-deprived as i am.
i am concerned about his anger. i know he would never hurt me or our ds but he does get really frustrated/angry for example when our son won't go to sleep. (long story short -- we were bed-sharing, but having a wiggly, restless baby in my armpit all night was really wearing on me and i wasn't getting any sleep whatsoever, so we moved him to his crib, and dh and i alternate who gets up with him when he wakes in the night, which is usually every 2 hours, sometimes if we are extremely blessed, we'll get a 4-5 hour stretch in there. this is extremely rare, however.) example: my dh will go in to ds's room, rock him back to sleep. sometimes though ds wakes up repeatedly as soon as we put him down, so it takes a while sometimes. and sometimes i think my dh is a little too impatient and doesn't wait until ds is in deep enough sleep. dh will get extremely frustrated/angry, cuss under his breath, etc. i have asked him to stop, asked him if we would say those things to our son if he were 4 and he knew he understood him, etc, but he keeps doing it even though he admits he knows it is bad.
i really think dh is depressed, and it is manifesting itself in anger. he has been depressed before and that was also how it manifested. what do i do? how do i get him to seek help? i worry about the relationship between my dh and ds and how his anger/resentment will play out as ds gets older. ds is a sweet kid, but definitely high-needs and he can be quite draining. my dh has commented that he doesn't understand why ds can't be like other babies, why he won't sleep, etc. i have asked him, are you going to be disappointed in him when he doesn't want to play t-ball when he is 5? i want him to resolve these issues now before they become a huge barrier in their father-son relationship.
i just don't know what to do. i want to help dh be happy again. it's hard when i too am struggling with sleep-deprivation and ppd. it's hard for me to have to calm dh down AND put the baby back to sleep all the time because dh has a meltdown. sometimes i feel like i have two babies to calm down.
thanks for the laugh! I used to swear at night with my first under my breath and not-so-under my breath and I absolutely never swear normally. That first baby was so hard for us we did end up going to marriage counseling to deal with it eventually. We were both pretty stressed. Your dh sounds a lot like how mine was. It got better with time, but learning to give up your life as you knew it is a big transition for anyone. I guess I would personally give it time and give yourself and him a lot of leeway with behavior right now.
