Unbelieveable! Bad appt with the pedi ... guess what he said - Page 2

[Picturesque]

I think it's really awful that your pedi gave you such terrible discipline advice. However, I don't understand why so many parents I know IRL and online consider their pediatricians to be good sources of parenting advice. I like my pedi a lot and I feel like we're on the same page in a lot of areas, but I still consider to be no more than an expert on physical health. Your pedi's response to your question should have either been 1) I cannot help you because I can identify no health-related reason for this problem or 2) I would like to try this or this medical remedy for a physical condition I think may be causing this problem. MD's are not trained as parenting experts.

[zinemama]

No advice on your daughter - except that I agree with those who have suggested having her evaluated by a developmental specialist or child psychologist.

But the pediatrician...I agree that you should report him to (I don't know who, exactly - someone help me out). And I also think you should write a letter to his practice explaining exactly why you won't be back. Make it very civil and professional. No outrage, just the facts:

"Dr. X advocated hitting children. He told me to hit her with a paddle or spoon. He informed me that he hits his own children every day. A person whose parenting depends upon daily violence against children is not one I want caring for my child." Etc.

[Isn't hitting with an object considered abuse in most states?]

[averlee]

I am outraged.
Do you live in Texas? When I was there 10 years ago, they were still using corporal punishment in public schools- hitting kids across the buttocks with a wooden paddle, while holding the edge of a desk.
The APA says, don't spank. It causes injuries. It can escalate to cause death. And, it is ineffective. This is all from an APA pamphlet I got at my kid's ped.

My personal issue with spanking, is the buttocks are part of the "swimsuit area" so isn't hitting the bottom sexual abuse?

[LynnS6]

I would report your doctor to the American Pediatrics Academy. This advice expressly violates their written policies.

I would then find a new ped ASAP.

As for your dd, I would consider:
1. Food intolerances/allergies -- keep a log of her foods and behaviors for two weeks. What she eats in one column - behavior (positive and negative) in the next. If she eats "the same thing" she might well be intolerant/allergic to a very common food in her diet. It's not uncommon to crave foods that we're sensitive too. I don't understand the physiology of it, but surely someone here will.

Then, eliminate the most likely allergens for 2-4 weeks (I think the allergy board can tell you how long you need to do it). Dairy and wheat the big two that most people start with, along with artificial dyes.

2. Sensory issues -- Sorry, I don't have time to find your old thread (ds wants me to play school with him), but "Sensational Kids" or "The Out of Sync Child" would be where I would start.

3. That's she's just well, spirited or explosive. Raising Your Spirited Child, or Kids, Parents & Power Struggles, or the Explosive Child.

[Mary-Beth]

Write to him and express how disappointed you are in his recommending spankings. You went for support and to rule out medical needs and that isn't at all what you got. I would also report him to the medical association.

I see spanking as domestic violence.

I would switch doctors.

[Hokulele]

Originally Posted by Picturesque

I think it's really awful that your pedi gave you such terrible discipline advice. However, I don't understand why so many parents I know IRL and online consider their pediatricians to be good sources of parenting advice. I like my pedi a lot and I feel like we're on the same page in a lot of areas, but I still consider to be no more than an expert on physical health. Your pedi's response to your question should have either been 1) I cannot help you because I can identify no health-related reason for this problem or 2) I would like to try this or this medical remedy for a physical condition I think may be causing this problem. MD's are not trained as parenting experts.

I agree with you fully on this. I called the pedi as a first person to find out HOW to tackle this issue. You know, like what the possible causes could be - medical or psychological. I thought maybe they could recommend who I could see.

When I first called I only wanted to have a quick conversation with them, just to get some insight on what my next steps should be. But they decided I should come in to the office to talk (I live in the middle of nowhere so my drive to the pedi is significant). And in the end all I got was "you should spank her."

ergh