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When to call DH/SO?

post #1 of 26
6/12/09 at 12:52am
Thread Starter 
Just thinking about this...I'm getting lower back pain every few minutes for about 3hrs-DH has overnight shift and I spoke to him on the phone, but, I didn't mention it because I knew he would rush home--and this will probably just go away by morning and even if it doesn't it will most likely be a day or 2 before things pick up (judging my DS1's labor) and I don't want him to rush home for no reason.

LOL I'm tired (but, I can't sleep...arghhh) so I'm probably making no sense...but, I know I don't need to call him now or anything but this has me thinking, if he is not home when I do go into labor, at what point should I call and at what point should I tell him to come home? (He was already home when I went into labor with my 1st).

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post #2 of 26
6/12/09 at 12:56am
How long would it take him to get home? If he can be there quickly (like 15 minutes), I'd drink a lot of water and try to sleep. If it would take him a long time, I'd let him know what is going on.

How far along are you? Were you late/early with your first?
post #3 of 26
6/12/09 at 1:02am
Thread Starter 
He works like 15mins away, so it's not too bad...I doubt this is going to lead to labor because my first was a couple days after his EDD...but, I'm a planner so I figure I should have a game plan for whenever the time comes!
post #4 of 26
6/12/09 at 1:02am
I agree with georgie. Maybe you can let him decide when he wants to leave or not.
post #5 of 26
6/12/09 at 5:10am
I am worried about the same thing.
I have lots of false alarms with the prodromal labor in the last 2 weeks, so I honestly don't know whether it is the real thing not, until I am 2-3 hours away from pushing!
That does not usually matter because DH does not work far, but he will be 2 hours away for 2 days around my due date and I am very worried I won't call him on time, or that I will call him and it be false alarm...
post #6 of 26
6/12/09 at 7:28am
With my second, I waited too long to call DH. By the time I realized it was the real thing, I couldn't walk. He was only upstairs but I didn't want to shout because DS1 was sleeping! I ended up gettingto the phone and calling my mom and she woke him up, but he still missed the actual birth! I regret that and this time I will give him a serious heads up and let him decide
post #7 of 26
6/12/09 at 7:30am
Thread Starter 
Exactly Quindin!

Well this time it really spaced out about 2hrs after I posted, DH will be home in 3hrs or so anyway, I think you ladies are right though...I really should keep him updated and let him make his own decision--I am his wife and this is his son and as much as I want to control and plan everything he deserves to be more involved. I really hope we don't waste any of his leave time though!
post #8 of 26
6/12/09 at 7:50am
It is annoying not being sure of what is really happening, isn't it?

Pregnancy and motherhood are huge life lessons in patience and learning to let go...
post #9 of 26
6/12/09 at 9:04am
I'm going to call as soon as the birth starts. Because we need to get the kids to my parents and then go to the hospital. And it will take at least an hour to get to the hospital since we need to take the ferry.
post #10 of 26
6/12/09 at 10:14am
This is my new big issue. I've been having "false" or "practice" labor or whatever the h*ll they call it for a week now. Tuesday night was 7 hours of contractions 5-7 minutes apart. Last night was 4 hours of contractions 3-4 minutes apart. How on earth will I know when it's the real thing? With DS, the only time I had contractions like those I've been having was when I was truly in labor with him. I'm extremely frustrated and actually getting a little scared. I feel silly calling people or having DH come home when they just end up stopping anyway. DH works 30 minutes away and I'm generally home alone with a two year old. I can deal with a UC if needed as long as DH is here. So the MW's are ultimately optional but DH is not!
post #11 of 26
6/12/09 at 10:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vilde View Post
I'm going to call as soon as the birth starts. .
That's the whole problem some of us are having: we cannot possibly be sure when the birth is actually starting! That's why we don't know when to call.

And it is not because we don't know what being in labor feels like.
I have done it 5 times before.
It is because prodromal labor feels just like the real thing for a long time - just to stop after a while...
post #12 of 26
6/12/09 at 11:45am
Last time I called my husband home too early, but it wasn't SUCH a big deal because I called him home at about 10pm and he was working until midnight. We ended up going to the hospital too soon and I didn't have her until 10 the next night lol. This time I'm having a homebirth so at least I don't have to worry about making it to the hospital in time (since I know I would wait until the last second because of what happened to me last time)... My husband is out of town when I'm 36 weeks, but then he'll be home again until I deliver and not working much so I'm hoping he's just HOME when I go into labor (maybe it will be at night, that is what I keep hoping for!).
post #13 of 26
6/12/09 at 3:09pm
I have been debating this too. I had an induction with Ds so Dh just came with me at the time.

This time around I have been having contractions for so long and sometimes I think that they are the start of true labor, but then they go away. Dh works in a correctional facility so it really isn't easy for him to just pick up and leave. They have to find someone to cover him first. He just informed his unit manager this week that I could technically go into labor any day now so they have someone available to cover should he need to leave quickly.
post #14 of 26
6/12/09 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
It is because prodromal labor feels just like the real thing for a long time - just to stop after a while...
Exactly!!!!!
post #15 of 26
6/12/09 at 10:03pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
That's the whole problem some of us are having: we cannot possibly be sure when the birth is actually starting! That's why we don't know when to call.

And it is not because we don't know what being in labor feels like.
I have done it 5 times before.
It is because prodromal labor feels just like the real thing for a long time - just to stop after a while...
That is just it! I didn't get his with DS1 (though I had a super long labor, so I'm hoping this time my labor will be shorter)...it's driving my nuts! I lost my sleep last night, felt ok for a while--had a few strong contractions while at the beach with DS1, then nothing...then they started back up when I went on a walk tonight and they hurt and make my belly ROCK solid...but, I can't even begin to think it is labor approaching after getting this off and on for a couple weeks now...it is just scary because I'm afraid when labor does start I won't know! Maybe I should just get my sister to live with my for the next 4wks or so LOL
post #16 of 26
6/12/09 at 10:22pm
...and speaking of which, I am up at 2:20 am London time, breathing trough contractions.
They started right after DH and I DTD 2 hours ago.

:
post #17 of 26
6/13/09 at 12:12am
With both previous pregnancies I had on/off contractions for a few days so he knew to keep his phone on. Also I went into labor both times within 12 hours of losing my plug. Both times he was at work and I just called him to give him a heads up.
post #18 of 26
6/13/09 at 12:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
...and speaking of which, I am up at 2:20 am London time, breathing trough contractions.
They started right after DH and I DTD 2 hours ago.

:
Keep us updated! :
post #19 of 26
6/13/09 at 6:02am
Surprise, surprise: it all fizzled out!

post #20 of 26
6/13/09 at 10:51am
ha! Dp and I were just talking about this - he walks to work about 20 min away, but he has vowed to run home if I even claim to be in labour. Last time he was working in another city 2 hrs away and came home on dd's due date (even though I told him not to!) and then had to wait another 10 days (oh plus 20 or so hours). Talk about new-daddy anxiety

Anyway, clearly this time it'll be much easier, but I think I'll call him as soon as things start establishing (ie the contractions don't go away with a bath or a nap) because I want his company in early labour - even if we're just hanging out - it's nice to hang out together
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Archives › Pregnancy Archives › July 2009 › When to call DH/SO?