Anyone change their minds about how many kids they're having?

[mrsrayray]

I was SET on only 2 kids. Then we decided to have 3. Now we'll have 3 girls, and I keep thinking.... if we get a house and have our own space (not a little apartment) I wouldn't mind having a 4th kid.

I mentioned it to DH and he said "no, I can't see that."

We always said we'd adopt a boy (eventually)....

Oh man indecision.

[Flower of Bliss]

The nice thing is we don't have to make this decision today, this month, or even this year

DH and I have always said we'd have at least 2 and not more than 4 kids. This is baby #2. I don't feel done at all. I keep saying we'll have more. However, I also wholeheartedly acknowledge that I haven't yet met this little one, or seen how having her changes our world. We may very well decide to stop at 2 once we have a better idea of what it means to have 2. Or hey, maybe we'll end up with 5. I've done fertility treatment for both pregnancies, so twins is a real possibility. And, we don't do much of anything by way of preventing, so perhaps we'll end up with a surprise

When I got married, my grandmother asked me how many children we planned to have. I told her 2 to 4. Then I asked how many children she thought she would have when she got married. She replied "I thought we'd have 3 or 4, but we never really talked about it" They had 8 kids, the first 6 in 8 years (all BF for a year+ too). I always laugh and think, gee wouldn't you think after 4 or 5 you'd start the conversation.

[Pernillep]

Kind of. But I am not getting any younger

I never really thought I was going to have kids. Then the urge hit hard, must have baby NOW...... Had DS. I didn't want him to be an only child and I wanted an other baby. DH was on board so now we are expecting DS2. I am wavering on maybe wanting one more but DH is not buying it. He thinks 2 is plenty. He may change his mind in a few years but we definitely can't put it off much longer than 3 years.

I guess deep down I want my try at a girl.

[ComfyCozy]

Well, it's not so much that I change my mind as it gets changed for me! LOL! But...

Much as I don't enjoy pregnancy, this one hasn't been horrific, and the first trimester was bearable thanks to the Unisom/B6 combination. I can at least talk about an eighth, even if I'm not "planning" an eighth. Shhhh. Don't tell DH. He'd take as many as came I do hope this is "it", but realistically, with 7 children at 32 years old, I can't imagine another one won't be gracing our family by the time I hit menopause.

[Spring Sun]

Well, I definitly want more, and so does dh. It is something that we talk about a lot and that we are planning on, but we know we can not be specific about it now.

One thing that sucks is the cost of education. Ds had his own inheritance to pay for private school, but none of our other children will. So, we know we want a min of 4 kids, so that would $30,000/year just in school costs. We could get by with that (not right now, but hopefully we could in 55-10 years), but what if we wanted more than that?

Also, it is hard being pregnant this time-more so than when I was pregnant with ds. I was 24/25 then. Just 4 years makes a big difference. What is it going to be like when I am 32? 34? Not to spark a debate, but I do really believe that our bodies evolved to start childbearing at a much younger age-and there is a reason why it was a breeze when I was younger and harder now. My mom had her 5 by the time she was my age (29). If I want five I will be, at the very least, 36, and that would be with little spacing.

But yes, I do want to have a whole gaggle of kids. Our house it big enough now, but it is very urban (three stories straight up). I def want to buy a house that has a huge yard and is made more for a family. We are working towards it, our goal is in two years.

[leighann79]

When we got married we said 1 or 4. Then we had DD1 and decided to take it one at a time. After DS we decided we were done. Then when he was 3 we decided to go for another. After DD2 we decided we were done. And then she turned 2 and we decided we wanted another. LOL
Right now we are in between thinking that 4 will be enough and already planning #5. LOL

[sunshynbaby]

After the hell that is this pregnancy, I was thinking about having only this one. We planned on at least two. Now that it is almost over, I'm thinking about just leaving it up to nature for awhile.

[dislocator3972]

DH and I have always wanted a whole pack of kids, but I very clearly explained that I was NOT committing to having them all myself. We both feel very strongly that we should adopt some of our brood, and so we will. Or maybe we'll foster. Either way, I agreed to be pregnant once, and then we could reconvene and discuss how we would grow our family after that. I wouldn't mind only being pregnant/giving birth once, then adopting 5 or so more.

Though I'm starting to think I wouldn't mind being pregnant again. . .

[Jilian]

I changed my mind in the opposite direction. I've always thought I wanted 4 kids and after the first 2 I'm pretty positive #3 is the end of our childbearing road. DS1 and 2 weren't easy so that has a lot to do with it. DS1 has issues with ADHD and Autism and requires a LOT of extra work between appointments, school conferences and getting sent home from school. DS2 was born with a CHD and was loads of work up front but is a typical 2 yr old now. I feel like having any more than 3 kids will just be too much. I need to be able to focus lots of attention on DS1 without neglecting my other children.

[Talula Fairie]

I originally wanted only 2-3 kids. Then, I decided I wanted a big family (like 5+ kids). Now reality has set in. We really couldn't easily afford 4 or more kids, it would be hard financially. Every pregnancy has gotten harder, and I honestly am not sure I can do another pregnancy with 9 months of vomiting. Besides the fact that I'm bipolar and I get realllllllllllly pissy in pregnancy, which makes everyone else miserable. It's just not a good scene. I'm so done.

[leighann79]

I'm bipolar too. Usually, I've done better while pregnant, but I'm pissy this time around. LOL Dh even commented on it the other night. I'm so ready to feel more like myself again.

[Talula Fairie]

I don't get manic or depressed when pregnant, so I do a lot better. But I get REALLY irritable and sensitive. It can get kind of ridiculous.

[Mamatoabunch]

We never really had a number, but it certainly wasn't 10, LOL. Around baby 4 I returned to the Catholic Church, dh followed and we became open to allowing God plan our family size.

[ApplePieBaby]

Well, I'd never thought about how many kids I wanted until I found myself pregnant with my first unexpectedly LOL

Then I thought maybe two, one of each... but ended up with three boys with my ex LOL

Then when I got remarried we we wanted a baby together... and just keep having them LOL

I do think I'm done. I initially was thinking six was enough, the perfect number- but we're having twins so that bumps me to seven LOL

[super mamabug]

ME! When we got married I only wanted 1!!! He talked me into 2. I talked him into 3 and I'm already after him about 4! I love babies!!

[August09baby]

I originally wanted two kids. Always wanted two kids. Now with the twins we will have three kids. An enormous change in plans. See what happens when I make plans!

We will be having three and as my two year old DS says..."thats it!"

[ApplePieBaby]

I also always thought an even number of kids would be perfect- so the twin thing is throwing me off because of that as well LOL

[Amanda Williams]

We changed our minds, too.

I totally thought DD#3 would be our last baby. It was hard to add #3.... but we changed our minds when she was about 3-4 months old, used a lousy form of birth control for a few months and then decided to "not try and not prevent" last July. It took us until November to conceive this little one and I never had a period. I am all for no birth control for the rest of my child bearing years, , but will ultimately leave the decision up to my DH. I think we could easily have 5-6 more kiddos and I am not sure if he will be totally on board with that.

[Raene]

Yeah, we said two and now we're thinking three...eventually.

[dislocator3972]

Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch

We never really had a number, but it certainly wasn't 10, LOL. Around baby 4 I returned to the Catholic Church, dh followed and we became open to allowing God plan our family size.

We've talked about doing the very same thing, but we just aren't sure how we would allocate resources. We both feel so pulled to adopt, and that's very expensive. Fostering doesn't have the same burden but that's certainly not an easy road either. And to be considering both of those while not using birth control makes me think maybe we're just being greedy for kids! Hopefully we'll get this all figured out and find some perspective that feels like we're neither trying to control what should be God's to control nor neglecting children that we should be caring for (either by not having them or not having the money once they're here).

Sometimes I feel like I'm not old enough to be making these kinds of decisions!