Originally Posted by sisteeesmama
I didn't have a baby to then turn around and not spend time with her. I waited until I was very ready and wanting a baby very badly and I *want* to spend most of my time with her, she is only young once and I want very much to be around her to experience everything.
I also agree that having family in LO's lives is VERY important. I don't get a long with my mom, but that hasn't stopped me from moving across the country to be nearer to her so that my dd could have more than just me and her dad in her life, y'know?
I understand your viewpoint, but the way you say it seems to imply that all babies are planned.
I love my 17yo dearly, but he was not planned. He was conceived while I was on the pill. I was in the military. So, my choices were to terminate, give him up, or be a full-time (and then some) WOTH mom. I was only 21 when he was born, and had never really given thought to having kids prior to learning of my pregnancy, because in my mind, kids were something that was going to happen "some day."
And seeing as I was in the service, moving near my family wasn't an option. The "needs of the Navy" come first. And since my boys' dad is a career Navy guy, we've never
lived near family, since we spent years moving from place to place after he and I got married. That doesn't mean they've never had anyone else in their lives besides me and their dad. They've had awesome caregivers, and the children and spouses of their caregivers were equally awesome. Friends and neighbors. Lots of visits to the midwest to see grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.
No, I didn't have a baby just to turn around and not spend time with him. I did the best I could with what I had. On the rare occasion that I left with with a sitter to go out with friends, it was after he'd been put to bed for the night.
Believe it or not, those of us who have to work to put a roof over our heads often would prefer to spend all our time with our babies, too. I never wanted
to leave my kids in daycare. Stuff happens.