I need to be educated... help!

[Gracerenee]

We recently adopted siblings from Ethiopia and our approx. 8.5 year old son is uncircumcised. Our ped. said at this age we should be able to retract and clean it, but it is not retractable at all... he said "owe" when DH tried to show him how. We didn't try again. Can someone educate me on what to expect and when if ever to be concerned about it not retracting? I think I read that most are retractable by this age, but some are not until adolescence... is this correct?

I guess when J man's english is better we will have to teach him, as I can't see us trying to retract his foreskin when he is 12 or 13!

Thanks knowledgeable mommies!!

[benj]

You do not have to retract his foreskin. He should be the first one doing that without forcing it. Yes, you are correct that many are not retractable until adolescence. Most boys retract fully around age 10 but there is not a designated "right" age, it will happen on its own. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[A&A]

First of all, I'd use the word "intact" instead of "uncircumcised." (Positive language rather than negative.)

Yes, some boys are not retractable until puberty. In fact, the British Medical Association does not consider it a problem until age 19.

Congrats on the adoption!!

(And when he is retractable, have him wash underneath his foreskin with WATER only. Soap would hurt!)

[Nandi]

Some boys are not retractable until the end of puberty. This can be as late as age 20+. There is no problem unless you make it one by retracting and scrubbing underneath, which causes infections.
Teach them to clean the outside, and don't have them retract to the point of pain!
I think there's also information in the stickies for this board.
Here it is:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=575627

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Wanted to add a note that the Dr shouldnt be touching his penis during exams at all. If the Dr. is curious then your ds should show him how much he can retract IF he wants to. There is no reason for the Dr to try and do this to him and can not only lead to infection and micro tears it can lead to the Dr. saying there is a problem when there isnt one.

A sticky you may find helpful http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=764732

[glongley]

Important information on the development of the intact penis, which explains what we know about the normal age range at full retractability (average age ~10 yrs old, though some boys may not be fully retractable until early adulthood).
http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/

Truly, the biggest problem that an intact male is ever likely to have is that someone else THINKS they have a problem. A must-read article for parents of intact boys explains all the reasons why a doctor might sometime say a boy "needs" to be circumcised, and why its virtually never so: http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...uncircson.html

Good for you for respecting your adopted son's wholeness and for seeking out the information you need to protect him staying that way. There is a gold mine of information and support here!

Gillian

[tennisdude23]

If his lack of retraction was not giving him problems in Estonia, it should not be giving him problems in the U.S. either. As everyone said, retraction age varies, and for many men it does not occur until puberty. So, there is nothing to worry about it. No cleaning or demonstrations are necessary by a third party either. Once he retracts, he will figure it all out on his own, believe me.

PS: I hope he does not forgot his Estonian. It will be very useful for him someday.

[Gracerenee]

Great info

Thanks everyone... you pretty much confirmed what I had found when researched it.

The Dr. was not at all concerned about his foreskin and did not try to touch it at all even though this was his first full physical in the US. She just told us to show him at home how to care for it and thought it "should probably" be fully retractable at his age. She was actually really cool.

The only reason my husband was trying to retract it was to show J man what to do, as his English is not such where we could explain it with words.

I am not going to worry about it, and when his english catches up, we will tell him all about it!

And not to worry he will definitely not forget he is Ethiopian!