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Do you ever get anything done? - Page 2

post #21 of 37
I don't get much done and I don't worry about it. I'm a SAHM but my house is still dirty!! I'd rather play with baby when he's awake, and sleep when he's sleeping!!
post #22 of 37
Just today I was thinking how much time I wasted before I DS was born! Now, I can get ANYTHING done in 15 minutes, and I had countless 15 minute blocks when there wasn't a baby needing me!

My latest tricks for getting things done are:

to ask DH to keep DS for 15 minutes in the evening while I (blank). Tonight, I set a timer for 15 minutes, and was able to clear & dust all the surfaces in the Living Room/Dining Room, as well as most of the floor.

I also put DS in a bouncy seat at the door to the kitchen while I cook or do dishes/clean the kitchen. I can talk/sing and make faces at him while working. Hopefully I can mop the kitchen tomorrow this way. It's only been mopped once since he was born. eew!

Finally, I bring toys into the bed, and fold laundry on the bed while DS plays. Since I'm right there with him I can talk & sing to him, too, which extends my laundry folding time!
post #23 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by denaverbena View Post
I'm a new mama and trying to adjust to not being so productive anymore....

How did you come to peace with this transition or how did you sneak things in here and there for yourself?

I wear her in a wrap, you'd think this would help, but she needs to suck alot and will only take my finger (not a pacifier). So this leaves me with only one hand.. She also doesnt like the wrap all the time so I end up carrying her alot which can be pretty tiring.
We must have the same DD

Just realize that you *ARE* doing something!!!!!!! You are taking care of your sweet LO and that is the most important thing right now. DH had to drill that into my head about a thousand times And he couldn't be more right. Don't beat yourself up because the house isn't as clean as you'd like it. Think of all the poopy diapers you changed, how many times you nursed, how many burps you patted out, etc. You are very busy, just not with cleaning the house

As soon as we wake up in the morning I change her diaper and she goes in the swing, yes, I put her in a swing or the bouncy seat so I can go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, make a quick breakfast and try to get a few dishes done. By that time it's time for her to nurse and we relax while I try to read, watch a mindless TV show or take a nap. It gets done but, not as soon as I'd like and to be honest with you, I see my DH really starting to pitch in and pick up the slack.

Yes, on a couple occassions I have broken down and cried because all of this really bothers me, that I can't keep a clean house, take care of 2 kids and a husband. He sees that it means a lot to me to be able to do these things so he's stepped up his game so to speak.

And now that DD is 5 months old I can get much more done, not like I used too with just one kid but, MUCH more gets done around here. It's bitter sweet though, on one hand I can keep the kitchen clean and the laundry done but, now my little girl isn't so little any more, she's getting so big so fast and I kind of liked being waited on hand & foot

Enjoy the time you have with your LO while they are so little, the house can wait, it's not going anywhere, your child is growing as we speak, errrr, write; enjoy every smile, cry, burp, and fart and Congratulations Mama!!!
post #24 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

I repeat the last line multiple times a day & it immediately brings me into the present & reminds me what the most important things really are.
I love it!!!!

Here is another..... this is about a son but, it can be about your DD too

I Took His Hand and Followed
Mrs. Roy L. Peifer

My dishes went unwashed today,
I didn't make the bed,
I took his hand and followed
Where his eager footsteps led.

Oh yes, we went adventuring,
My little son and I...
Exploring all the great outdoors
Beneath the summer sky

We waded in a crystal stream,
We wandered through a wood...
My kitchen wasn't swept today
But life was gay and good.

We found a cool, sun-dappled glade
And now my small son knows
How Mother Bunny hides her nest,
Where the jack-in-the pulpit grows.

We watched a robin feed her young,
We climbed a sunlit hill...
Saw cloud-sheep scamper through the sky,
We plucked a daffodil.

That my house was neglected,
That I didn't brush the stairs,
In twenty years, no one on earth
Will know, or even care.

But that I've helped my little boy
To noble manhood grow,
In twenty years, the whole wide world
May look and see and know.


No one is going to know your house is a mess or if they do come over and see, they won't care, honestly. You have an awsome responsibility to your new LO and that's all that really matters
post #25 of 37
It really depends so much on what type of day we're having. If we're having a fussy day... mommy uses all her breaks (baby naps) to relax and or sleep. If we're having a happy day, my babe sits in her excersaucer while I cook or clean dishes. Or, she plays on the floor while I fold laundry. If I have to vacuum I pretty much have to wait till she's asleep. I can't carry her around or have her in a wrap while doing chores... i've found that it just doesn't work cus she's too dang curious! lol. Of course when she was younger it might have worked.
post #26 of 37
Lifeguard I am so glad you posted that. I didn't read the pp before my last post it was great to see that poem.

OP when they get older you can enlist their help or set them up drawing or playing in the sink while you do things, but right now just let the house go because this stage doesn't last. You can find a way to get the necessities done w/o taking a lot of time. I can feed the chickens, tortoise, cats, and dogs in under 15 minutes now It takes work but you find a system that works. Beyond feeding the critters there is nothing that absolutely has to get done anyday. Laundry and dishes get some progress after daddy gets home, but I don't think I've been caught up on the house in years. You just have to learn to make your peace with it.
post #27 of 37

Just wanted to say

Lurking on this thread saved my life.

Sounds melodramatic, but really-- just the poems alone would have soothed me.

Thank you wonderful women for the perspective. I have been beating myself up so much.

Off to kiss my baby!
post #28 of 37
I agree.. the poems made me feel better too
post #29 of 37
With my first - I was lucky as I had a very easy baby! Babies have basic needs and his were super easy to meet. Mostly because (and I only know this now I have two! lol) when he was tired, he would just sleep. Like any sensible person would right?! lol

This baby is much more work because when he is tired (and babies are tired a LOT of the time! lol) - he needs a lot of help from me to get to sleep and stay that way! I wear him for HOURS everyday in the sling!

One thing that helps - is to put him on my back in the wrap. (not recommended with a stretchy wrap). We have a few lovely didymos wraps that are prefect for this. I do a really crappy job and I wouldn't attempt it out in public yet (lol) - but he is perfectly safe and comfortable up there! With him on my back, he isn't near my milk so doesn't feel as sucky (hes pretty sucky too and also won't take a soother! He likes to comfort suck a lot at my breasts but gets very upset when the milk just keeps coming as his tummy is full and he just wants to suck for comfort! lol). So with him on my back, hes calmer and I can tidy the kitchen or whatever! I don't get long - he only has about half an hour nap in the morning. Then he is awake again.

They always say sleep when your baby sleeps. Impossible. But learn to prioritise. I have noticed that he tends to have a very big nap in the afternoon. About three hours long. One thing I have learned is how amazing it is what you can get done in such a little amount of time! Give me five mintues and I can make my house presentable enough to have friends over! lol So - I take some of this time and tidy/clean when I can. And the rest - I rest if/when I can!

Also - I don't know what I would do without a DH or friends! In the begining I was having a friend come over every morning after she dropped her children off at school to hold the baby whilst I showered and got dressed! It made such a big difference those first few weeks! And DH helps too. He mostly keeps and eye on him/keeps him in close contact with a human body/smiles/talkes/etc to him whilst I do something bigger - like clean the bathroom!

I have just learned to sieze the day so to speak. Nothing is done in an organised way at all - but it all eventually gets done! lol
post #30 of 37
My youngest is 14 months and still, even after 5 kids, I struggle with this daily. It drives me crazy that when dh comes home from work the house looks like I didn't lift a finger all day. While he would never say a thing about it, it bugs me to no end. I just try to resign myself to the fact that one day cleaning or getting XYZ done, will be all I have to do. My kids will have their own lives and I will be sad about it!
post #31 of 37
Oh my goodness, I am so glad I read this thread!!! I'm a full time WOHM, so we have very little time in the evening to get things done. Plus, DD (10 months) has to have me in the same room when she's playing in the evenings, which means I can't get much done until DH gets home. I constantly feel bad that our house is a mess, but would rather play with DD than do dishes. I've realized there are a couple of things I can do with her though: fold laundry, she loves to "help" and vacuum (she loves playing with the vacuum).

I once apologized to a guest for our house being messy when DD was only a couple months old. She just basically said, "that's okay, if your house was too clean it would mean your not spending enough time with your baby." That made me feel so much better! Thank you moms, for making me realize we're all in the same boat, I no longer feel like I'm the only one who can't keep control of the messes in the house.

And the poems, exactly what I needed to hear!
post #32 of 37
I have a nearly 3 month old, and I definitely don't get much done. This is a sore spot here (with dh), especially regarding our older son and how little time he gets with me. I don't know how some moms do it. My baby only sleeps on me. She nurses hourly. She doesn't like being put down much. I can load and transfer laundry while carrying her, but DH holds her when I fold and put clothes away. I have lowered some expectations, including even getting a shower every day. I have a hard time figuring our what to eat, because one-handed cooking is difficult, and the moby just doesn't seem to work well. We get takeout a lot. DH helps a lot with dishes. It's just a crazy time. Posts about mopping and the myriad of other things that some if you get done boggle my mind. We're just surviving here. LOL
post #33 of 37
My DS is 5 months old and the only 2 things I consistently do around the house are laundry (especially important for CDing) and dishes (and we have a dishwasher, so I just load and unload that). I also prepare meals for myself, but rarely make anything for DH, and take DS for a short walk every day when we don't have a structured activity to go to. I occasionally make necessary phone calls while nursing DS. That's it.

On weekends, I try to clean while DH hangs out with DS, but he helps me clean as well and often cooks food for the next week so I will have things that are easy to heat up.

There is a room that we threw everything into while preparing a space for baby, with the intention of me organizing the room while off on mat leave. I haven't started yet.
post #34 of 37
Reading this made me think of a moment when my grandfather told me (after my grandma had been gone for maybe 5 yrs), "I can't believe all the hard work she had to do taking care of six kids. " Then he went on to describe all the daily tasks she did caring for the children. He had probably never told her that while she was alive but after she was gone he truly realized how much she did for everyone. He really was in awe of her.
post #35 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

I repeat the last line multiple times a day & it immediately brings me into the present & reminds me what the most important things really are.
I <3 you for posting this. Thank you
post #36 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jojo F. View Post
I love it!!!!

Here is another..... this is about a son but, it can be about your DD too

I Took His Hand and Followed
Mrs. Roy L. Peifer

My dishes went unwashed today,
I didn't make the bed,
I took his hand and followed
Where his eager footsteps led.

Oh yes, we went adventuring,
My little son and I...
Exploring all the great outdoors
Beneath the summer sky

We waded in a crystal stream,
We wandered through a wood...
My kitchen wasn't swept today
But life was gay and good.

We found a cool, sun-dappled glade
And now my small son knows
How Mother Bunny hides her nest,
Where the jack-in-the pulpit grows.

We watched a robin feed her young,
We climbed a sunlit hill...
Saw cloud-sheep scamper through the sky,
We plucked a daffodil.

That my house was neglected,
That I didn't brush the stairs,
In twenty years, no one on earth
Will know, or even care.

But that I've helped my little boy
To noble manhood grow,
In twenty years, the whole wide world
May look and see and know.


No one is going to know your house is a mess or if they do come over and see, they won't care, honestly. You have an awsome responsibility to your new LO and that's all that really matters
Oh, wow, one poem for my daughter and one for my son how perfect. Thank you.
post #37 of 37
I've found that some days I feel pretty productive and other days just awful. Trying to develop a system! Having my older children help is probably the only thing that gets me through the day.
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