I think being a bad mom is not giving all that you have to motherhood as well as placing your child in a painful or dangerous position. I would LIKE to think that moms are all doing the best they can but sadly most are not. Am I perfect, VERY far from it but I have no problem saying where my short comings are and constantly working on them.
Now if you read this and get all huffy, maybe that is your own guilt, if so, own that guilt and doing something about it to change it.
I will freely admit my lack of patience with this topic ( it come up alot around here) is slightly bitter driven. If I was doing everything ' the mainstream way' what is going on in my life would be ok, accepted, no big deal. BUT because I do things differently than most around here ( locally) I have " made my own bed, now I have to sleep in it" is what I get alot. I think that AP here has saved us, yes it can be harder but didn't people's mamas teach that that more often then not the right thing to do is often the hardest? Or treat others how you want to be treated? Or others before self? Sadly these basic moral princiaples are vanishing from our society. When moms want to schedule a c section so that they are not inconvienced with the birth of there child, it sets up the mentallity that motherhood is all about mother, and how to make it easy for her. Motherhood isn't about pushing a cute little baby in a cute little outfit in a cute little pram on the way home from the nannies after you played tennis all day for the 5th day in a row this week. It isn;t about being able to turn mommy on and off when you feel like it. I think that is what socitey has turned it into. I think the world of moms who bust there hump all day long at work so that they can have food and a place to live and live in a decent area for there kid to grow up in, knowing most of that check is going to go to day care. It makes me sick for them, I could not imagiane that pain and frustration, to see moms throw motherhood around like a cool thing to do when they feel like it and piss there time away doing what THEY want while the child is with a nanny all day, all because mom " just needs to be herself still". Sorry chica, you are a mama now that that is what you should be to your child, of you didn't want all that comes with it don't do it.
Am I a perfect one, no!
List to come of what I do that is so wrong, baby up, off to nurse again!
Why some locals moms have said I am a bad parent:
I BF he until e self weaned at almost three, and still BF J
We still cosleep with J full time and E whenever he wants, ( usually 3 until he awakes for the day)
I let them play naked in the backyard in the sprinkler all day
i cut dairy and gluten out of e's diet
We are relaxed learners
I did not circ
I BF on demand
i WILL NOT vax ever again
J is still RFing in the car
I feel strong against CIO
there are more that are escaping me right now
but I am still coming to terms to things I did before I knew better with easton:
the doctor told me at 9 weeks that my milk wasn't enough for E and that he needs to be on three solids a day, formula inbetween and BM whenever I want inbetween, and I listened. that still weighs on me
oh he was 22lbs at that appointment on JUST my milk on demand, he said he nursed to much and that I needed to work on a schedule.
I turned he forward facing when he was 10 monthes because he was over thrirty lbs and screamed all the time. You would think that when the screaming still didn't stop that I would just turn him back around but I never thought of that, why would that matter?
I vaxed him for four monthes before I second guessed the coincidence in the encyphalitis after EACH round in him and the vaxes and all the other bad weird things too.
I tried CIO when I was at the end of my rope when he was ten monthes old, mad him worse, and he still remembers it
But when I was doing all these things everyone praised me on what a great mom I was, never got a second glance or thought from people, only when I started doing what I LOVE to do did I get a hard time, bad rep, and a 'bad mom' threat.....