Might Do a Homebirth Now...

[sammyloo]

I have switched OBs twice this pregnancy and have decided it must be me that is the problem - nobody is a match. I have found a wonderful doula (she is also a midwife) and my doctor is so rude about it ("she should know I am the manager of this pregnancy. I make the decisions." - shouldn't it be me that is the manager of my pregnancy???). Anyway, I live in a smallish city with two options only. No birth center. Midwives have no right to deliver in hospital. I have two options: insurance paid birth in hospital (with a doula I would bring that is unwelcome by staff/doctor) or a homebirth I will pay for completely out of pocket. I am 25 weeks. Whenever I mention the idea of homebirth, I get the same response from friends and family everytime: what if something goes wrong? you are putting yourself in danger. I could never forgive myself if I put my baby in danger, but I have no reason to believe something will go wrong. This is my second baby (first was vaginal delivery with epidural); I live very close to a horrific hospital but it has a good NICU and ER; and I have a good house for it - my neighbors won't hear me . My husband doesn't know what to think but would feel so much for comfortable in the hospital. Somebody tell me what to do...

[HappyMommy2]

Originally Posted by sammyloo

I ...what if something goes wrong? you are putting yourself in danger. ...

This was my hubby's fear too. I think the turning point was my mw's response. She said she did not have anything to prove. If there was a need to go to the hosp, we would.

She was very experienced, and proceeded to list out the things that could go wrong, and exactly what she would do about each one.

She also reassured me that we would do everything in our power to avoid going to the hosp. For most issues, there are several things that can be done.

HB was the best decision I ever made. Check out the HB forum.
Good luck with your decision!


PS - sorry to crash your DDC! Just saw it on new posts.

[StrongFeather]

I like the PP response above with what the MW said. As long as you can afford the home birth, I think you should go with what makes you most comfortable, and hopefully you can help DH to see it your way. I believe it's just as important for husbands/partners to be on board as well. It is their baby as well!

[guestmama9922]

As long as you find a midwife that you feel is competent and caring and you feel comfortable, there should be no problem having a HB.
You won't be able to have an epi though, so it will be much different and you will have to deal with the pain of the contractions, transition & pushing (although it is possible that you may enjoy this as I did).
Once you hve your head around that, and you set the goal of having the baby at the end, you can deal with it.
It's what your body was designed for.
personally I would not let any doctor near me that wasn't welcoming and encouraging to my birth doula or partner. Managing birth is precisely the reason so many woman feel out of control during it.

I had two amazing HB's. I wholly recommend them to a healthy woman.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by StrongFeather

I like the PP response above with what the MW said. As long as you can afford the home birth, I think you should go with what makes you most comfortable, and hopefully you can help DH to see it your way.

I agree. Plus, you've already delivered vaginally once before. You had no problems so I see no reason for you to think something may happen this time around either. I say go for it!

[MichelleAnnette]

How about you interview the midwives in your area and bring your hubby along? I had a wonderful homebirth with my first and am planning another. I paid for the first totally out of pocket. We may get some back from insurance this time but it will STILL be MORE than my first even if we do get 40% back!! It is so worth it to me, and we are not rich. In fact, we can't put money in savings until we are done paying the midwife! Both births would have no out of pocket expenses for me in a hospital.

[angelachristin]

I just switched from the OB who delivered my son to a homebirth midwife last week. We have no birth centers here either, so it's either hospital/OB or midwife/homebirth. The closer I got to September the more I was just not feeling right about the hospital and OB, and when I met my midwife I had this feeling of overwhelming relief and "this is right." I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and now I am so happy and excited thinking about my upcoming homebirth! I had DH watch "The Business of Being Born," with me, which helped a lot because he was totally like "Are you out of your mind?" whenever I mentioned homebirth previously. Then he came with me to interview the midwife and now he is totally on board and excited, too!

I had an epidural with my 1st baby too and I'm planning on getting a birth pool to help with the pain, because I am a pain chicken. But the thought of going to the hospital scares me more than the pain at this point. And I'm hoping it will be a relatively quick birth--I was induced with DS and from the time I got the Pitocin started to the time he was born was 5 hours total--I came into the hospital at less than 3 cm--so I am hoping this one will be fast too (but not too fast, want the midwife to get here in time!) I am also going to get the hypnobabies course soon if we can afford it. Waiting to see if some money comes in that we are expecting.

[sammyloo]

Thanks for the information! The doula I would hire is also a midwife and I just felt so comfortable with her. There are basically two midwife practices here and I have an appointment to interview the other tomorrow. I am starting to realize that my (and my husband's) fear may not be a reason to not do this - it just may be something to deal with and work with when talking to the midwife. We saw Business of Being Born a while ago and we liked it - still, for my husband, it was the homebirth that had to be transferred (the producer?) that he remembers most.

[MichelleAnnette]

If you liked BOBB, check out Orgasmic Birth! It is on netflix.

[deymm]

Go for the homebirth! You won't regret it!

[murphysaangel]

As someone who's transferred in an "emergency" from a home birth - I can tell you that yeah, it's scary if it happens, but it's not THAT scary. I knew 100% of the time that me and my baby would be okay. I was terrified of the c-section but I knew that I did EVERYTHING in my power to have a healthy natural birth - my body just didn't cooperate. And I wouldn't have changed a thing. Except maybe the fact that I was 45 min from the hospital we chose! That was a sucky ride.

Ask your mw what her transfer rate is - that will be completely reassuring. Mine had a 10% transfer rate and a 5% section rate. Sucks that I fell into that small percentage but like I said I certainly had the best chances to do it right.

Just know that no matter WHERE you deliver - home or hospital - it would take an equal amount of time to get you into an operating room. Your mw knows EXACTLY what to do in case you need emergency care - she'll call ahead and the hospital will start getting everything ready. They still need to call the proper personell and prep the OR, etc - even if you've been laboring in the next room! So there's really no difference if you're super close to the hospital.

Good luck momma!

[cristeen]

Originally Posted by sammyloo

We saw Business of Being Born a while ago and we liked it - still, for my husband, it was the homebirth that had to be transferred (the producer?) that he remembers most.

But that shouldn't make it a problem... if he stops and thinks about it, the midwife came in, checked mama, and said "hospital". That's one of the things we pay the midwife for - to know when that call has to be made. Yes, there are no guarantees, but knowing that a midwife is able/willing to make that call should be more reassuring than not if you look at it that way.

[Zumbi]

I think homebirths can make you more comfortable than doing it in a hospital - a huge thing when it comes to having a good, safe birth. We are doing a homebirth and I've heard some of the same things about it not being safe or what if something happens. We are also a short drive from a hospital - so if things go bad, that is always an option. And honestly, the doctors in hospitals tend to want to operate on you and do things that you may not want them to do. As for the costs, a midwife at home is actually really affordable compared to what they charge in hospitals. I can afford it and me and DH are just poor grad students. But you should do whatever you are most comfortable with - that is the most important thing. If you are worried that it won't be safe at home, it could make your labor more difficult or slow it down. But if you think that home is the best place for you then go for it!

[acemama]

Originally Posted by sammyloo

We saw Business of Being Born a while ago and we liked it - still, for my husband, it was the homebirth that had to be transferred (the producer?) that he remembers most.

Also remember she wasn't transferred because of an emergency. She went into preterm labor and had a breech baby. Her MW came over to check on her and noted that yes, she was in preterm labor (cervix was dilating) and instructed her to go to the hospital. This was technically not a woman who has at home laboring and planning to birth at home then transfered to the hospital for an emergency that developed during labor, but rather a woman who was planning a home birth but went into preterm labor and had to cancel her home birth plans. Did I get that out right? A big difference IMO. Even moms planning a home birth could go into preterm labor, but this has nothing to do with an actual transfer during a term labor and birth.

[deymm]

Originally Posted by acemama

Also remember she wasn't transferred because of an emergency. She went into preterm labor and had a breech baby. Her MW came over to check on her and noted that yes, she was in preterm labor (cervix was dilating) and instructed her to go to the hospital. This was technically not a woman who has at home laboring and planning to birth at home then transfered to the hospital for an emergency that developed during labor, but rather a woman who was planning a home birth but went into preterm labor and had to cancel her home birth plans. Did I get that out right? A big difference IMO. Even moms planning a home birth could go into preterm labor, but this has nothing to do with an actual transfer during a term labor and birth.

Yes, that is how I remember it as well.