OT: 16 and pregnant on MTV - Page 6

[madsommer]

That was a sad episode. I was glad that the parents were astute enough to realize that the environment in which they were raised was not a good one and thus not suitable for their child. And of course their own parents were upset about them giving up their child for adoption...it wasn't so much about losing a grandchild, but about facing the realization that their own children didn't think they were good enough parents. They were being defensive. (Did that make sense?)

I couldn't have imagined doing it either. I really felt for the girl...but maybe it will be the right motivator for them to keep on track with their life so that they can start a family.

Overall, I found the show interesting...maddening and saddening, but there were bright spots here and there.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by madsommer

That was a sad episode. I was glad that the parents were astute enough to realize that the environment in which they were raised was not a good one and thus not suitable for their child. And of course their own parents were upset about them giving up their child for adoption...it wasn't so much about losing a grandchild, but about facing the realization that their own children didn't think they were good enough parents. They were being defensive. (Did that make sense?)

I agree. It was definitely sad.

I had recorded this episode and just watched it last night. I cried through almost the entire hour. I can't imagine how tough it must be to give your child up for adoption. The adoptive parents seemed nice but I feel that anyone can raise a child, money or not, but I can also see the reasoning behind why this particular couple wanted to give the baby up for adoption. You have to be a very strong person to do what they did. Caitlyn's mother called her a b*tch and was very rude to her throughout the entire show, not loving or nurturing at all. And Tyler's dad, wow. I know he was probably being defensive and felt guilty for what he had done in his life, but how could he blame his own son for wanting better for his child.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by LavenderMae

I agree the parents of the bio parents did not seem to be very good parents. And they are actually the cause of their granddaughter being put up for adoption (ironic seeing they didn't want that) or at least the main cause as far as I could tell. Maybe it will be a wake up call for them (the grandparents), probably wishful thinking though.
Although I empathize with the grandparents it doesn't mean I support their behaviour or parenting in the least.

yeah, I agree. Caitlyn even admitted that she was moved around a lot while growing up because her mother didn't care for her properly and she was raised by her own grandparents for a time while her mother wasn't there for her. Then her mother turned around and was angry at her for "wanting" to give her own child a better life so she could avoid ruining yet another child's life. I think Caitlyn and Tyler are very strong for stopping the vicious cycle. Hopefully they can get through college and better themselves and have better futures for their future children, a lot better than what they were given.

[WonderWild]

Caitlyn was very strong and I admire her. These two kids showed more maturity than most adults I know.

[holyhelianthus]

The sad thing is they felt the only way to stop the vicious cycle was to give their baby up.

[WonderWild]

Originally Posted by magstphil

The sad thing is they felt the only way to stop the vicious cycle was to give their baby up.

She is not going to disappear from their life. They will still have contact, letters, cards, pictures, etc. I'm sure they will even be invited to b-day parties. That little girl is going to have a wonderful life. The adoptive couple have been blessed beyond their wildest dreams.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by garrettsmommy

She is not going to disappear from their life. They will still have contact, letters, cards, pictures, etc. I'm sure they will even be invited to b-day parties. That little girl is going to have a wonderful life. The adoptive couple have been blessed beyond their wildest dreams.

And that is wonderful. I was simply saying that I wish we lived in a world where we all could have the opportunity to do the things our heart desired instead of feeling backed into a corner.

ETA- I am not down on them for giving their baby in an adoption at all. I just wish things were different for all of us, yk? I also came from a non supportive abusive home as did DH when we had our first at 17/18. I wish there were no cycles in the world that needed to be broken and that everyone received the love and support they deserve is all I am saying.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by magstphil

The sad thing is they felt the only way to stop the vicious cycle was to give their baby up.

very true. I see what you mean by your comment. I grew up in a not so supportive home as well. My parents resented me and my siblings, my dad was an alcoholic/drug user who cheated on my mom for many years before they finally divorced and my mom has always been an emotional wreck. She's not much of a grandmother either. I had my first child while single and his father and I did marry later and now are expecting #3, so it can be done! I've tried desperately to raise my own children different and so far we're doing it, tough as it may be. It helps that my DH came from a better life growing up, not much better, but definitely better.

[liz-hippymom]

anyone watch the finale? it was ok- i thought it was rude how they asked why they didnt get abortions! and GOLLY grill them much about condom use? duh they didnt use them....how many times do we need to bring it up? and i still really love the couple that gave up thier baby. i just want to take them into my home and raise them. what great kids with crappy parents...

[LavenderMae]

I did watch. The breastfeeding part really pissed me off. And was only negative about breastfeeding imo. Even the host seemed ignorant about breastfeeding and was basically saying that it's just so hard. I do realize breastfeeding can be difficult especially in the beginning but that's only one side of it. Anyway, that part pissed me off.

The abortion question didn't bother me and I think it's a valuable part of the discussion. I thought the question was if they had thought about abortion not why they didn't have one. Maybe I missed that one.


The birth parents (I can't remember their names right now) to me picked parents for their baby that they wish they had. In my idealistic head I was wishing the adoptive parents would adopt the birth parents and let them raise their baby in their home. I know not real world thinking and it works in theory but might not in reality for a lot of reasons. What is a semi open adoption? The first mention of that was on the finale as far as I remember.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by LavenderMae

I did watch. The breastfeeding part really pissed me off. And was only negative about breastfeeding imo. Even the host seemed ignorant about breastfeeding and was basically saying that it's just so hard. I do realize breastfeeding can be difficult especially in the beginning but that's only one side of it. Anyway, that part pissed me off.

I agree. : I don't like Dr. Drew anyway but that part really irked me. The comments made during that part gave no encouragement to the many teens out there that might have been watching and considering breastfeeding.

[queenjane]

What is a semi open adoption? The first mention of that was on the finale as far as I remember.

Semi-open usually means that some info is exchanged but there isnt as much openness/info/contact as in a fully open adoption. They may exchange photos a few times a year, perhaps contact would be via a PO Box or thru the agency, but they may not know each others full names or addresses and there may not be plans for lots of in-person contact in the future. Openness in adoption is a spectrum, falling somewhere between "fully closed" and "fully open"...and the relationship can change over the years too based upon the needs or desires of everyone involved.

[mom2avasteph]

Okay, I was up *really* late and caught that show. The bf portion was really negative. Dr. Drew was pretty much, imo, stating that it is too hard to bf. And the one girl who did bf did so for about a week. There must not have been much support for bfing. But, come on, don't bad mouth bfing as a dr and someone these teens are taking advice from. ugh. I was really bothered by that portion of the show.

Originally Posted by darcytrue

I agree. : I don't like Dr. Drew anyway but that part really irked me. The comments made during that part gave no encouragement to the many teens out there that might have been watching and considering breastfeeding.

[SaraMum]

I agree that this would have been a good opportunity to promote breastfeeding not to deter from it

[mar123]

I breastfed all of my kids and always encourage people who need help. That being said, they did show reality when it comes to teen's breastfeeding. If they don't have LOTS of support, it probably won't happen. And none of these teen moms did. For many of them, it is all about what is easiest and bottle feeding *seems* that way to many. It would have been great had they had a breastfeeding spokesperson on there who could have mentioned support, resources, etc.

On another MTV show, True Life, they profiled two teen moms considering adoption. One kept the baby, one didn't. The one who went through with the adoption was pumping milk and bringing it every two weeks to the adoptive family and baby!! I thought that was awesome and showed real dediction!!!

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by LVale

But then again this was oh way back in 1977. But back then there were no helicopter parents. Yes I know it was a different time, but in the mean time we raised 2 sons to adulthood.

Actually there were helicopter parents back then. My DH comes from a long family of them. He was born in the early 60's and his grandma very often kept him and his siblings and practically raised them for his mother and dad because they had to work so much. Then MIL/FIL (now in their 70's) turned around and did the same thing for their grandkids (most of them are in their 20's) and now their great grandkids that are being born. So helicopters may not have been very "popular" back then but they were definitely around. My DH and his siblings suffered more from the loss when his grandma died several years ago than when his own mother died earlier this year because they were so close to grandma.