Having to put down a pet...

[Halfasianmomma]

...I still feel like a horrid murdered for putting down my 7 year old cat Hasu. He'd developed this lump inside his right hip that kept growing and growning until he couldn't walk anymore. I had taken him to a vet but they didn't know what it was and wanted to do exploratory surgery. We're already tight for money so we just took their anti-inflammatory meds and waited to see if the lump got better. Eventually though, it was so big, my poor little kitty just spent his days laying down awkwardly. DH and I talked about it and after much crying, we decided to have a vet come to our house to put Hasu down.

I still feel horrible about it though because his mind was still all there. If that leg of his wasn't there, he would have been fine...but he wasn't. He was all skin and bones, unable to sit or lie down without looking in pain. So, we had him put to sleep. I keep thinking I should have forked out the money for the x-rays and surgery; perhaps it would have solved things.

Anyone else had to deal with stuff like this?

[kungfu_barbi]

i couldn't read without posting...i am so sorry for your loss.

your feelings (second-guessing, what if-fing, regret, sadness, anger....) are all normal... it's part of the grief process. i had to put my dog down this year and i'm still a mess from it.

peace

[HealingBeam]

I'm sorry for your loss and decisions you had to make.

[hillymum]

How sad for all of you! You can not go second guessing yourself though. You did what needed to be done. You know your cat is so lucky, to have the vet come to him rather than being taken to the vets for his last moments. You did right!

[phatchristy]

Don't be so hard on yourself, it sounds as though there was a really good chance that euthanasia was likely going to happen anyhow. A surgery may have just meant a slight delay, and if anything you may have saved him from the suffering that would have happened from all of the procedures, the fear of being away from his home, in unfamiliar territores, etc.

A knew someone who opted to have surgery done on one of their animals (also involving a leg). They wound up taking a lot of tissue and amputating hoping that maybe it would give him a year. Unfortunately it wasn't even two months and the cancer had spread, and the pet had to be euthanized anyhow. That animal went through a whole lot of trauma for two months, and IMHO wasn't worth it physically for the pet or emotionally for the owner.

And, I understand us all being super attatched and having that deep bond. The pain of the loss is deep, but when you choose to euthanize earlier rather than later you really are saving your animal the pain and discomfort that they would otherwise feel in their last moments.

Take care of yourself, let yourself grieve and feel comforted by the words on this thread.