Baby Boys

[onelittleone]

Can someone please share some great things with me about having a baby boy. I am having a really hard time connecting with the little guy inside me. I don't know if it's because I only know DD's girl energy or what. My first pregnancy she and I were super connected. I don't know if it's the anterior placenta keeping me from connecting deeper this time or what. I am doing hypnosis and I literally check out and fall asleep when it's time for me to meet the baby. I do have a fear of that terrible boy energy ... I know sweet boys too, I love them ... but those other ones .... aggressive and high energy ones ... they scare the crap out of me. So please share some boy joy with me.

Thanks mamas.

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by onelittleone

Can someone please share some great things with me about having a baby boy. I am having a really hard time connecting with the little guy inside me. I don't know if it's because I only know DD's girl energy or what. My first pregnancy she and I were super connected. I don't know if it's the anterior placenta keeping me from connecting deeper this time or what. I am doing hypnosis and I literally check out and fall asleep when it's time for me to meet the baby. I do have a fear of that terrible boy energy ... I know sweet boys too, I love them ... but those other ones .... aggressive and high energy ones ... they scare the crap out of me. So please share some boy joy with me.

Thanks mamas.

I hear you, mama!

I was TERRIFIED of having a boy, and it took me a while to figure out why. For me, it was because I have older brothers who are TERRORS, my poor mom (who wasn't their biological mom, so she didn't have them "full time") was constantly fighting with them, they were disrepectful-of each other, of things, of the LAW... Even as adults they are struggling.

When I thought of boys, I thought immediately of PHYSICAL. I think of girls as emotional, and that seemed like something I could handle better than the physical.

It took me a while to realize that just because THEY were like that doesn't mean MY BOYS had to be like that. I vowed to instill a sense of respect into my boys, I vowed to teach them emotions. I don't want to change who they are, but I want to balance them a little.

My boys are wonderful! Seriously, I"m loving having boys so much more than I thought I ever would!!! Yes, they're more apt to be physical (it's just true, try as I might, they are the ones climbing, jumping, running, throwing, kicking, etc), but I have managed to teach my boys sensitivity and empathy just by modeling it to them. I do tell them to "suck it up" when they have owies, but that's more because I"m not tolerant of whining, not because I think "boys should be tough". They shower me with hugs and kisses, they are very sweet boys, even as they love to wrestle with daddy or the neighbor kids.

With boys don't expect to have clean clothes or hands for more than 30 minutes, don't expect your house to be orderly, and get used to your house being an in-and-out thoroughfare! But really that can be true of any girl too.

Maybe the reason you're having more trouble connecting with this guy has more to do with him being a second baby and not that he's a boy. I just plain don't have the time to focus on this baby as I did with my first or even my second. Give it time...it'll happen! You're right that the anterior placenta might be effecting it, so could your physical exhaustion level.

Have you named your baby yet? Start referring to him by name, all the time. Narrate your day to him, when you talk to your daughter, talk to your son too. Ask your daughter to talk to her brother. My older son loves to kiss his baby brother, and says "mommy, BabyBoy3 already loves me so much because I kiss him all the time!" MELTS MY HEART!!!

[Lovinmum]

You will absolutely LOVE having a little boy. They are full of energy but its how you raise them as to what kind of energy that is. My little man is the sweetest, most gentle little guy. WAY more gentle than his "girlfriends". He loves to play and climb though. you just have to make sure they have those outlets to release the energy some too.

There is always the "mamas boy" factor too. Little boys just ADORE their mamas in a totally different way than little girls do. Its not even something you can explain to someone until they have experienced the unconditional kind of adoration and idolization.

I second 2boyzmama on the second pregnancy thing too. I think its just different how you bond with your second. I don't feel as "connected" to this little guy as I did my first but then I look at the difference in my life then and now. I am not able to just sit and focus on the baby inside as much because of the baby on the outside. It doesn't mean I love him any less or that we aren't as bonded, its just different.

[KayleeZoo]

There is something truly special about little boys. Having both, I can say that there is definately a difference between girls and boys Boys do tend to be more physical and more impulsive. However, I have a daughter who is very.very. physical- just as much so as my son. Maybe more. And a lot has to do with what you teach and what you expect. I know mothers who say, "Well, boys will be boys!" when their toddler boys are smacking other kids around on the playground. That kind of behavior isn't tolerated in our family, whether you're a boy or a girl so we don't have those issues.

And there is definately that mommy and little boy bond. It's not bigger or better than the bond I have with my girls, but it's different. There's a kinship that you have with your daughter(s)- something intrinsic and female. The baby/little boy and mommy bond is different, but just as strong. Definately something that you can't explain, but you'll feel it when you look at that boy for the first time.

I think that boys who are born into families with girls have the best of both worlds- the outside world works on them to be boys' boys, and their sisters influence them with more emotional, softer stuff (true even if the girls aren't girly or overly emotional)

I feel so very blessed to have both a son and soon to be 3 daughters. Being able to know the feeling of being a mother to both is one of the most amazing things I've ever experienced in my life. It is truly a blessing and I'm so excited for you!!

[confustication]

I was terrified of having a baby boy, but my son is just awesome. He's so snuggly and SO different from his older sister....

He's my observer, he watches everything. He doesn't giggle, but calmly contemplates life and any situation that somes his way. For months I joked that he was my Buddha baby- he sat and watched the world go by. He interacts more now, but always thoughtfully.

It's very different than life with my daughter when she was a baby, but no more difficult or less connected.


Besides, he just had his first haircut, and it's just so much fun to see him turning into a toddler boy.... PICTURES! (Seriously, who can resist cute baby pictures?)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...tion/005-6.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...ion/008-11.jpg

Being his mom is a completely different experience than being my daughter's mom is, but I learn so much with both of them that I'm continually blown away. I'm a better mom to each child because of what the other teaches me.

[mamamia10]

Originally Posted by onelittleone

Can someone please share some great things with me about having a baby boy. I am having a really hard time connecting with the little guy inside me. I don't know if it's because I only know DD's girl energy or what. My first pregnancy she and I were super connected. I don't know if it's the anterior placenta keeping me from connecting deeper this time or what. I am doing hypnosis and I literally check out and fall asleep when it's time for me to meet the baby. I do have a fear of that terrible boy energy ... I know sweet boys too, I love them ... but those other ones .... aggressive and high energy ones ... they scare the crap out of me. So please share some boy joy with me.

Thanks mamas.

I am with you here!! I even mentioned it that to the MW. It seems so abstract to me that there is a PENIS in there LOL. although I agree that life is different with almost 2 or 3 or more so it is hard to say if I was having another girl if the connection would be different as well. I also remember with dd feeling so in "sync" so to speak--I am looking so forward to seeing his face and really getting to know him
however with me little boys evoke different sentiments than I remember with my daughter--but I have never had one before (and honestly in my youth never thought I would have girls-so my ambivlaiance shocks me a bit)

[guestmama9922]

I didn't want a boy. I had a girl and was terrified of their swollen bits. seriously. How silly is that. I didn't connect with him at all during pregnancy.

But my son (4) is.....astonishing.

First of all, he is gentle, not shouty and aggressive. he is such a mama's boy in a way my dd never was. He cuddles, he loves soft toys and snuggles them too.
We were talking about organs with our dd the other day and asked what the heart was for. He answered ' it helps you to love people'.

I adore my dd, she is one amazing kids too, but I feel more at ease with my boy. It is precisely because ds is a boy that I feel this way. With my dd, I respond to her pains and emotions and moods so fully, because I experience them as a girl, I connect with her just as I connect with myself.
That is really hard sometimes.

But because my son is so totally a different creature from me, it is just easier to be with him and to hold him when he is upset or hurt.
I don't take it all personally.

I am now over my fear of little boy bits! LOL! And I think little boys are beautiful.

[darcytrue]

It was the opposite for me. I love having a boy, always have. My first child was a boy and I didn't know what I was having until the day he popped out. I fell completely in love with him. He was an only child for 6 years so we were super close and he was such a good kid, still is. He is not the average wild boy and is laid back and sensitive, loves to take care of things and help out.

On the flip side, when I was pregnant with my DD, I didn't bond with her and after the birth it didn't happen immediately and she also ended up being very high maintenance and tough the whole first year so we didn't bond right away. I've always felt bad about that. And at 7 yrs old she is the princess of the house, very loud, a little hyper still, can be bossy, stubborn but also very smart. Girls are SO much different than boys. People told me that but I never understood what they meant until I had a DD myself.

I'm hoping from all the experienced I've gained from the first two that I will do okay with the third, but I guess we have to wait and see what type of personality this little one will have.

[Dmitrizmom]

On a practical note, I'll admit, I prefer changing little boy diapers - less folds and creases to worry about getting cleaned up.

Ds is a little love bug - he loves to snuggle up, give hugs and kisses. He's not as physical as dd, loves to play games, and read books. At 8, he's a joy to have around (most of the time), but he does have a temper.

[murphysaangel]

I was a bit scared of having a boy, too. I mean, *I* am a girl, and an only child, so it's really all I know! But my son is just awesome. Now I think I'd be terrified of having a girl! It seems so much scarier to put up with the mood swings, the pettiness, the girl-to-girl competivity. (is that a word? If not I just made one up!)

I'd say think of all the wonderful things about your DH and imagine them in tiny baby form - maybe that would help. Like if he's patient, or funny, or a hard worker.

And I think no matter what, when that baby comes out to meet you, you'll fall in love just as hard and quickly as you did with your DD! Try not to stress out about it too much!

[MichelleAnnette]

My little boy (2 yrs) likes to pull up my shirt, say "baby growing," and kiss my belly. When they are so little, I don't know if there is much difference between boys and girls, although I only have a boy.

[loriu]

i totally hear you. i have had such a hard time connecting with this guy. really wanted another girl. also have an anterior placenta...

i did feel we finally connected a bit when i went to colorado for a few days and left my daughter with my husband. then it was just me and the baby together and i felt i bonded with him for the first time. i know that might not be possible, but that's the first time i felt like he was my baby.

i am also afraid of boys, boy energy, etc, in general. i have friends with lovely boys, but i still can't get rid of the somewhat negative association i make with boys. ihave been studying all the boys in my neighborhood, too, and have had mixed emotions of the results.

no great suggestions for you, but i just wanted you to know i feel the same. and, a girlfried of mine who's pregnant with another girl--who really wanted a boy--is having the same problem connecting, too.

[H & J's Mom]

Originally Posted by Lovinmum

You will absolutely LOVE having a little boy. They are full of energy but its how you raise them as to what kind of energy that is. My little man is the sweetest, most gentle little guy. WAY more gentle than his "girlfriends". He loves to play and climb though. you just have to make sure they have those outlets to release the energy some too.

There is always the "mamas boy" factor too. Little boys just ADORE their mamas in a totally different way than little girls do. Its not even something you can explain to someone until they have experienced the unconditional kind of adoration and idolization.

I agree

I also agree that the second PG is different. I couldn't imagine a boy after having DD ... I couldn't really imagine having any LO other than DD.

But man when DH handed DS to me it all came flooding back : head over heals all over again!!!!!!!!!!

[BekahMomToOliver]

I'm kind of the opposite, but same issue. I knew DS was going to be a boy from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I just sensed it. The US at 20 weeks didn't surprise me one bit, I just told DH "Ha, I knew he was a boy!". I had only bought boy clothes and boyish baby stuff up until that point, I just had this feeling.
This time around, I had noooo clue. No connection with this LO at all (also anterior placenta this time, BTW). I still only imagined myself with boys, though, so the US was a huuuuuge shock! We went for lunch afterwards and all I could say was "What am I gonna do with a girl??" I was completely thrown, and totally lost. I still am. I don't like pink, frilly stuff much at all. I'm not into princesses. I'm a major tomboy myself, so girl territory is completely foreign!
As far as having a boy goes, it's so true that they love their mama's dearly. My DS has always been a total mama's boy, and although he's rambunctious at times (but seriously, what toddler isn't?), he's just the most loving, sweet, beautiful little guy I've ever met. I've found that for me, it's so true that once you meet them, there's this bond and you can't imagine that little person as anything but what they are: your beautiful baby. That's what's getting me through to September with my sanity, really. I know that once I meet DD, I'll have that bond again and it will click and it won't matter if her crazy Aunts have her dressed in frilly pink tutu's 24/7, she'll still be my gorgeous baby.
But seriously, boys are great. Like a couple PP's said, it's really all in how you channel their energy, just like any other child.
Good luck!

[ladylove]

Little boys are so many things rolled into one.

Yesterday, my little boy brushed my hair for ten minutes. Then he proceeded to want to climb and jump all over me.

Boys can be sweet and affectionate as well as rough and tumble. Just think of raising the kind of little man that you will be proud to marry off one day. I want to raise DS to be the best husband and father he can be and that alone gives me much encouragement.

[ChaoticMum]

I remember being convinced I was going to have a boy first time around......all I KNEW was boys...brother, cousins, kids i babysat. I had NO CLUe what to do with a girl.

I had a girl.

Then I LOVED being Mum to a girl so much when we were expecting our 2nd I was devastated at the thought this one could be a boy!!!!!!!! when i was about 6mths pg i had a dream - in that dream i gave birth to a beautiful beautiful baby boy and fell in love with him on sight. i woke up and thought - okay, i can have a boy.

sure enough - he was a boy. and I DID fall in love with him and to be honest? to this day? altho parents don't have "Favorites"?? He IS the one I'm bonded to the most ..............................even tho for almost 7mths of his pregnancy i tried to will his penis away.

[deymm]

Love my little boy! Wouldn't trade him for the world!

[angelachristin]

Oh, my gosh! Boys are wonderful beyond belief. My 2.5-year-old is such a silly, sweet, snuggly bug. Yesterday we found an injured baby bird in our yard, and he was speaking to it so softly, "I'm sorry, little birdie. You need to go to the doctor. I'm sorry for you little birdie. I'm sorry you are sick."

I'm pregnant now with a girl and finding it hard to imagine because all I know is my beautiful wonderful baby boy! And I think boy's diapers are WAY easier to change. The cleanup is easier. Frankly, I'm nervous about this!

[Siobhain]

I don't even know where to start with boys. I have three and I love them to death. Yep they are full of energy, but each boy is so different, one is really energetic and rough and the others are a little more laid back. They love their mum and I know I will always have that. I know that they are going to grow up to respect women, themselves and their environment.....I can't really ask for more. They are so sweet and thoughtful but at the same time have this wonderful boy energy that I just love and a curiosity that astounds me. I had hoped that DS 1 was a girl because a girl was all DH and I knew, but I wouldn't change him for anything! Baby boys are so adorable too, one thing I really loved about my boys is that they made/make sound effects for everything DD never did that but the boys, all three of them make sounds. Listening to them play is so much fun!! You'll be fine, you'll likely fall so in love with him at first sight that you'll forget you were ever apprehensive!
Warmly,
Erin

[Siobhain]

Originally Posted by MichelleAnnette

My little boy (2 yrs) likes to pull up my shirt, say "baby growing," and kiss my belly. When they are so little, I don't know if there is much difference between boys and girls, although I only have a boy.

Michelle,

My almost 3 yr old boy insists that there is a baby in his belly sleeping it is so freakin' adorable! He also thinks his baby sister is growing in my boobs, I mean I know they have gotten bigger but seriously he doesn't notice the huge stomach I have so his baby grows in his belly and mine in my boobs......good stuff!!
Erin